1. A woman went to the bank counter to withdraw 700 yuan and was ridiculed by bank employees. In desperation, the woman said to the bank staff, then help me withdraw 3 million. Picked up by the staff

1. A woman went to the bank counter to withdraw 700 yuan and was ridiculed by bank employees. In desperation, the woman said to the bank staff, then help me withdraw 3 million. The staff took the savings card and saw that the balance in the card was suddenly not calm, and the woman's card had more than ten million deposits. Subsequently, the attitude of the staff changed greatly, the title changed, and respectfully gave the woman 3 million. After the woman took out 700 yuan, she deposited the remaining money into the card. The staff did not dare to say anything, they could only do it, this is a VIP, ah, can not afford to offend.

2. Last night, a few of the guys in the class found a bar to drink. When everyone was almost drunk, a pair of cold drags worn by the brothers dragged their shoes on the sofa. As a result, he threw the cigarette butt he had just smoked on the ground, and then he habitually stomped it out with his feet. When he finished stepping on it, he seemed to find that something was wrong, and then the screams were heard throughout the bar!

3. The brother-in-law has finished his master's degree in college and is already 38 years old. The mother-in-law wanted to have a grandson, so she arranged a blind date for him. When they arrived at the agreed place, the woman asked him, "What are your advantages?" The brother-in-law smiled and said, "My advantage is to save!" The woman asked, "Where can it be reflected?" The brother-in-law stood up and grabbed the woman's hand and said, "Thank you very much for your generosity today." ”

4. My cousin has been unable to find a partner because she has been pregnant many times without marriage, resulting in her reputation in the village to the extreme. Today I went to play with her, and found that she was wearing a short skirt and her feet were red, and her knees were purple, and the road was not good. I asked her curiously: Sister, have you had a boyfriend? My cousin blushed and said: No, in order to make others think I have a boyfriend, I knelt down all night!?

5, the goddess said that the boy who feels that there is a mosquito body is very manly, and I have no hesitation in coming to the mosquito shop for the goddess. When the master came to me, he said, "Boy, I want to tell you that the mosquito body is very painful, and it is easy to get rid of the wrinkles. I didn't hesitate at all to lie down there, the master saw that I was iron-hearted, but also directly opened the whole, the time is a little confused between I fell asleep, after waking up I hesitated in my heart: "Master, I don't have a tattoo!" The master exhaled a big mouth into my face: "I rubbed the mud on your back for two hours, and you told me that you didn't get a tattoo?" Get down! ”

6, the community below a new haidilao, I eat once to pull the stomach. But the taste was really good, and I didn't hold back last night, and I went again. I was eating happily, a waiter came up to me and secretly said: Is it always diarrhea to eat my family's food? I was immediately amazed, which gave me the rhythm of exposing the inside story of the industry. Curious I asked: How do you know? He said: Every time you eat a hot pot without cooking, you are in a hurry to eat it, can you not pull it?

7. I remember when I was in elementary school, the math teacher gave us a math puzzle. The teacher said: There are 100 apples, 6 plates and each plate must have the number 6, how to divide? Our whole class thought about it together for an hour and didn't answer. Then the teacher triumphantly told us the answer: it is the first.

8. My father-in-law brought two bottles of Moutai wine to my house as a guest, and my wife asked my father-in-law to stay and eat, and let me go to buy vegetables. When I got to the nearby RT-Mart, I saw a young dad at the door asking a 3-year-old boy to take a dish. The boy refused: Daddy, I can't move. Dad: Did the drink move? Boy: Well, take it. Then, the boy took two bottles of 1.25L fruit grain oranges, and Dad took two cabbages out of the supermarket door.

9. An editor got drunk and asked the editor-in-chief why his article had not been published. The editor-in-chief was not angry, but patiently asked him to open the magazine of the day. The editor-in-chief asked, "Do you see any blank space in the magazine where your article is published?" The editor replied, "No. Editor-in-Chief: "That's why it wasn't published!" ”

10, there is a factory, because of the serious overtime of a person direct sudden death. Later, a girl came to his workstation, and everyone avoided telling her about the sudden death. One night they worked overtime again, and the girl could not write the code, so she let the boyfriend control it remotely. Then the sister went to dinner, and when the director passed by her seat, he took a look at her computer and found that the computer was actually writing code automatically. The next day, the director resigned!

11, cousin after 90, married five years ago, the daughter-in-law is very good-looking is not fond of work, cousin income is good, tens of thousands of dollars per month, and these money are in the hands of his daughter-in-law. Now it is not popular to smoke fine cigarettes, a little can take out of the thirty-five-one packs, poor he only has fifteen yuan a day of pocket money, there is really no way, hard to quit smoking, do not smoke themselves, do not send to others. At the beginning of this year, the cousin and daughter-in-law also began to work, the monthly income is more than three thousand, but the cost is five or six thousand, three kilometers away from the company, she has to drive to work, only in the vicinity of the company Parking fee a month on 800, counting the parking fee at home, half of her salary is gone, this is not counting other expenses. In general, the cousin and daughter-in-law lose money at work, and then because of the work, she comes home and shouts tired, and the cousin has to do housework and cook for this. The cousin himself also wants to buy a car, so he asks his daughter-in-law to give some money, and as a result, people say, you are a big man who buys a car and lets the woman pay for it? What is the use of a man like you? Didn't my cousin say that the money was all for you? Daughter-in-law scolded him, the salary you gave. Who are the men who have the ability to live on wages now? Folks, do you have a daughter-in-law of the same paragraph?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #