1, female colleagues rubbed my car after work, hit another car on the road. The female colleague felt that the time had come to behave, and she got out of the car and scolded. After half a day of scolding, the other car owner got out of the car and pointed to his car

1, female colleagues rubbed my car after work, hit another car on the road. The female colleague felt that the time had come to behave, and she got out of the car and scolded. After half a day of scolding, the owner of the other car got out of the car, pointed to his car and said, "Do you know what car I am?" The female colleague turned around and asked, "What is the dung fork?" "Got it, full responsibility. Another car owner said: "Big brother, I guess you don't have enough money, your wife stays, go and raise money." "I said it was okay and ran as soon as I stepped on the gas. The next day at work, I deliberately avoided female colleagues, but she took the initiative to come close to me and thank you: "Brother, eat my candy next month..." After a pause, she said, "I don't need money to repair the car, I can take care of this!" Then I asked. The other party immediately spent 60,000 yuan to repair the car. You say 60,000 yuan to get a female colleague is not cost-effective?

2. The old man retired from the State Grid and received a pension of 1.5 million yuan. I asked my daughter-in-law to ask for the money and brought up a Ferrari. Today I drove a new car to work, played with my mobile phone and did not notice the red light, and accidentally rear-ended with the Geely in front. I thought to myself, this is the end of it, it seems that I am fully responsible. A woman looked at it for a while and said: Give 200 yuan private, or call the insurance company. I thought to myself that this female driver was such a good person, only 200, and I immediately nodded my head, planning to pay for it. At this time, the female driver handed over 200, got on the car and left, I was messy...

3. The little uncle is a premature baby who is not in good health and died not long after birth. The mother-in-law suffered from depression for this reason, and finally drank a bottle of enemy fear and committed suicide. The father-in-law took the 1.2 billion inheritance left by his mother-in-law and married a divorced flight attendant with children, and his life was quite happy. Recently, during the summer vacation, the flight attendant plans to sign up for a class for her child, so as not to play mobile phones and watch TV at home. As soon as the father-in-law heard that it needed tens of thousands of dollars, he said: Well, it is nothing for children to watch TV and play with mobile phones. The flight attendant said angrily: "Hmm, I'm definitely going to die behind you, and I must spend the money you saved by slamming the door!"

4, mom and dad quarreled, mom went back to her mother's house in a rage. My dad and I lived at home alone, with two pots of clothes and a full pool of bowls. So I quickly called my mother: Mom, you hurry back, the family can't go on. My mother was upset and I came back and reprimanded my father. Then I cleaned up the house, and then Dad asked, "Honey, when are you going to go back to your mother's house?"

5. Watching "Qing Yu Nian" with my wife, after watching the finale, we were both sad. The daughter-in-law sighed: Husband, we have been married for so many years, how do we feel that we are far estranged! I looked at her and nodded, "Yes, it should be the physical sense of distance that gives you the psychological illusion!" Looking at her confused and frowning, I wiped her head and said softly: Fool! Meaning you're getting fat!

6, today Xiao Bao returned home with a face of grievance... So Da Zhuang stepped forward and asked, "Son, what's wrong?" Did someone at school bully you? Xiao Bao shook his head and said, "Dad, why do you think our family is so poor?" Da Zhuang took a deep breath of the dry cigarette in his hand, sighed, and said, "This is not to let you take charge of the house early." ”

7, because of the ambiguity with the boss lady, I was wan. Da Group was fired. Forced by the pressure of life, I had to put down my body and go to SF as a courier. At night, the company provided staff dormitories, and I moved in to save rent, but there was only one key to the dormitory. For convenience, the keys are always placed under the carpet at the elevator entrance. After work last night, I went back to my dorm room, and the people in the opposite room were standing in the doorway. It felt bad to take the key directly, and if everyone else knew it, it would definitely be a thief, so I kept knocking on the door. When I knocked on the third time, the beauty on the other side looked at me kindly, pointed to the bottom of the couplet and said: Where is the key...??

8. Today I made an appointment to go to a barbecue with my buddies, only to see him sullen and unhappy drinking, so I asked him what happened? The buddy said dejectedly, "I'm out of love." I smiled and said, "You two have such a good relationship, didn't you both make an appointment to meet your parents?" The buddy smiled and said, "On the way to her house that day, the mobile phone ran out of battery, and the passerby's mobile phone called her, and the result was that the name was Baby." I lit a cigarette and said, "Hey, since that's the case, don't be too sad to divide it, but what about later?" Dude: "Well, I dropped my phone and beat up the man, and then I learned it was her dad..."

9, go to buy meat sandwich steamed buns, see a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl next to me said to the stall owner: Put some meat for me, put some more, put some more! The stall owner glanced at the girl, or let it go, I thought to myself, this stall owner is really good at talking, when I came, I also gave the stall owner a spoiled: give me more meat, put more, the uncle looked at me and said: Girl, or ... You also call me sonic daddy!

10, my husband is a manager in Wanda Group, and his female secretary relationship is not clear, I got a V letter trumpet to test her. After adding my husband's V letter, I said: Handsome man, are you married? Husband: Married. Me: Your wife must be beautiful, right? Husband: Pretty is pretty, but a little silly, the next time you apply for a trumpet, can you not use your photo as an avatar?

11, yesterday at home turned out an old antique radio, so curious to open it to see if it can still be used. As soon as it was opened, a gentle voice came out from the inside: if the skin color is pink and the fluff on the face is fine and soft, then it means that it is healthy. Hearing this, I couldn't help but touch my face in the small mirror, and then smiled at the mirror, looking healthy and cute. At this time, I heard the gentle voice again: Okay, listeners, friends, this time our "Pig Raising Knowledge Lecture" is here.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #