1. Drink too much, call a Didi ready to go home, did not expect to be a Maybach! Surprised to get into the car, just feel the comfort of the car, the driver suddenly turned back and asked: is it drinking? I

1. Drink too much, call a Didi ready to go home, did not expect to be a Maybach! Surprised to get into the car, just feel the comfort of the car, the driver suddenly turned back and asked: is it drinking? I was stunned and asked strangely: You don't pull drinkers? The driver looked at me, smiled and said: No, just now there was a second goods, also drinking, as soon as I got on the car I asked him where to go, he said not to go anywhere, just sit!

2. When the new principal inspected the school, he found that several students were actually in love early. The principal saw that he was going to arrest people, but although the students knew that he was the principal, none of them obeyed. As soon as the principal approaches, he will run, and the students will continue after walking farther. In the end, the principal searched each class and caught them. As a result, the student's homeroom teacher was called to the principal's office by the principal and came out in the afternoon!

3. Called a Didi on the weekend, ready to go back to my mother's house, did not expect to come to a Porsche Cayenne. After getting on the bus, I said to the driver: "The place I went to is relatively remote, and the map positioning does not allow me to show you the way!" The driver looked at the destination on the map, smiled and said: "I know that place, it is indeed very biased, last month I took a second cargo to there, I had to show me the way, and as a result, I did not pour out an alley for half an hour." As soon as I listened, I instantly closed my mouth, pulled out a pair of sunglasses and put them on!

4 From high school to college, I have been living with my boyfriend, and we immediately met each other's parents after graduating from college, and we were very satisfied.

Today my boyfriend was going to take me to meet his grandmother, so I saw a shirt on a black background and red checkered at the mall.

After putting it on, my boyfriend looked at me and said: It's really like the waiter.

I was a little unhappy after hearing this, and I found a small white suit to match.

The boyfriend looked at it and smiled and said: These two pieces can be hitched, and now it is like a lobby manager.  

5 The work of a programmer is really difficult, and the feeling is indescribable. The plot of the programmer solving the problem: change the light bulb, find that the shelf is loose, take the wire knife, find that the roller of the drawer is going to be oiled, and the oil is gone, I have to drive to buy it, and the car is broken again. So, the boss scolded: "I just asked you to change the light bulb, why are you repairing the car?" ”

6 Units have a good girl, lively and cheerful, enthusiastic and generous, just a little fat, always can't find a boyfriend. On this day, the accountant aunt of Ella Media said that she would introduce her to an object. She said with less confidence, "Can it work?" I'm so fat, "The accountant aunt said, "What's wrong with being fat?" You have good skin, white and lazy, like a water spirit radish! The object I found for you is also very good, but it is a good turnip pit! I'm scheduling you to meet tonight. The next day at work, the accountant asked, "Girl, how's it going?" She shook her head: "No play! Accountant: "No! You can't look at it? She said angrily: "No, people can't look at me, saying that I am a turnip, it is clearly a winter melon!" ”

7 When I got home from work, I saw my neighbor beating his son again. I asked my neighbor's little friend, "Why did your parents beat you up again last night?" The child said angrily, "I only blame me for saying things I shouldn't have said." Me: "What did you say that you shouldn't have said?" Child: "My parents asked, is Grandpa good or Grandpa good?" Me: "What do you say?" Little friend: "It's the mule that's the horse out of the way!" ”

8 The brother-in-law had a high fever when he was a child, which led to some problems with his IQ. Yesterday there was a problem with the punctuation of the composition on his exam paper, and the teacher called him to the office to talk. The teacher is more talkative, often drooling all over the sky, and small raindrops hit the brother-in-law's face. Out of courtesy, the brother-in-law stood there without speaking. Later, the brother-in-law really couldn't help it, and said euphemistically: "Teacher, you just talk, don't punctuation, okay?" ”

9 Today, Friday, I went to high school accommodation and could finally make a trip home. In the corridor, I helped a grandmother carry her luggage to the 5th floor, and I was slowing down to stop on the 10th floor. Grandma said, "Thank you, boy." Do you smoke or not?" Me: "Yes, I smoke, thanks." Granny: "No wonder, I'm still breathless when I go up the stairs at a young age."

10 The cousin of the second uncle's family has been addicted to the game and cannot extricate herself, this year she is 41 years old, and she is still unmarried. Last night, my aunt's girlfriend introduced my cousin to a blind date who worked in an electronics factory. My cousin went out at night and made an appointment with her blind date to go to Haidilao for dinner. The man asked his cousin to order, and she was reserved for a while, ordering only three vegetarian dishes. Then, the man also ordered three vegetarian dishes, and the cousin was very angry and went home after eating. Curious, I asked her: Why am I angry about this? My cousin replied: I order three vegetarian dishes for the sake of restraint, and he orders three vegetarian dishes that is to cut the door!

11 My ex-boyfriend and I have been separated for half a year, but I still can't forget him.

520 On this day, my ex-boyfriend actually held 999 roses and sent them to my company! Then I held the flowers and took a picture under the envious eyes of others.

As a result, the ex-boyfriend whispered to me: "This flower was ordered by my boss for him, and I will send it to her girlfriend, you have also received the flowers, the photos have also been taken, I want to take it!" ”