1, last night, the wife accompanied the sister-in-law to go on a blind date, this time failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date.

1, last night, the wife accompanied the sister-in-law to go on a blind date, this time failed again. As soon as my wife came back, she kept scolding, and from her scolding, I finally understood the reason for the failure of the blind date. It turned out that the man hated that the sister-in-law was too beautiful and had a good figure, and he was worried that one day the grass would be green on his head. "Alas..." My wife sighed, looked at me and said, "Now what is this world, even pigs have begun to be picky eaters, is it that the cabbage that has been raised for more than twenty years has been smashed in the hand?" ”

2, last night and the female boss skewer drunk, I and her worship, known as brothers, and then she transferred 890,000 to me, early this morning she called me and said: "Honey, give me the money back, the company is left to take some money, you take it all, the salary can not be sent!" "I noticed that she called me dear, is this trying to swindle the money back?" Didn't you say it was good to be a brother last night? Who knows, like this, this money I don't give her, she can beat me not?

3. I felt that the pressure of the second child was too great, so I went to the hospital for sterilization, and the result was that my wife actually went to ivy. After the successful pregnancy, I couldn't bear to let my wife have a fetus, so I had to leave the child behind. Recently, my wife resigned to raise a baby at home, and in the evening I went to buy a supper for my wife and met a drunk man. The man sang as he walked: two tigers, two tigers, run fast, run fast... I subconsciously continued to sing: one has no tail, one has no ears, it's weird, it's weird... The man suddenly stopped, turned his head to look at me, I was startled, and he didn't dare to move! The drunken man stammered and said: Brother... brothers...... in order to...... later...... Want to sing, since... self...... Is it okay to start on your own? I looked at him dumbfounded, "Hmm" and the man staggered away again...?

4, Sunday with the daughter-in-law back to the mother-in-law's home, the mother-in-law entrusted people from the countryside to buy a chicken stew for us to eat, the mother-in-law has something to go out, she told the daughter-in-law to watch the fire, do not stew dry, as a result, I went to the kitchen from the living room to pour water when I found that the daughter-in-law had one hand in her waist, and the other hand was holding chopsticks to eat the chicken in the pot, I asked her what she was doing? She said to see if the chicken is stewed, but daughter-in-law, what do you mean by eating the whole chicken with only bones?

5. Discovered the secret of the boss lady and the security guard's big brother, and was fired from the company. I put a lot of effort into it and went to work in a factory. When I left work last night, I found a couple arguing at the entrance of the factory. It seems that the woman wants to buy an LV bag worth 20,000, and the man is too expensive. Woman: "The old lady told you that there are more people who want to buy me bags!" The man exhaled and said, "Don't you have a number in your heart?" The woman was anxious: "What do I look like, what do I look like?" The man pointed at me and said to the woman, "You must be uglier than she is after removing your makeup." ”

6, Xiaoming likes the online test, once seen a test is to test the wife cheating! When Bob sent the photo after the test, the result was: it will definitely derail! I thought Bob would be miserable, but he was very happy! I wondered and asked him, "Your wife will cheat, what are you happy about?" Xiaoming replied to me: "You don't understand, this shows that I can still get a wife!" ”

7, today to go bungee jumping, when the staff tied the rope to my feet, I was a little scared. I asked the staff, "You see, is your rope a little worn?" The staff said: "It's a bit worn." Rest assured that it will be fine, we replace it often. I said, "How often do you change your rope?" The staff said: "This is not easy to say, when it is broken, when to replace!" Me: "You hurry up and untie the rope for me, I won't jump." ”

8, came back from work, found that the daughter-in-law playing mahjong has not yet cooked, I said two more words to her, she actually quarreled with me. Just in time, my brother-in-law passed by my door and came in to sit down, saw that the two of us were arguing badly, asked the reason, pointed to my daughter-in-law and said: "You are also true, my brother-in-law works so hard at work, you play mahjong at home, what is wrong with making a meal at the point?" After all, it was her brother, and the daughter-in-law did not dare to say a word. I have always admired my brother-in-law, shook his hand and said, "Brother, don't go back later, the brothers have a few cups!" The eldest brother waved his hand: "That's not okay, your sister-in-law is playing cards soon, I have to rush back to cook for her."

9. One day I was studying together and getting married, I got up late, and I couldn't catch up. I took a taxi and wanted the master to hurry up. As a result, his mouth was scooped up and he said, "Master is in trouble hurrying, I am in a hurry to get married." As a result, the master said: "Girl, what did you do earlier, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to plan, you can't find it now when you get married and go to the street to catch the groom." ”

10, Dad's mesh bag 3 million to run, in order to help him pay off the debt, I went to KTV as a waiter. After working for a while, I found that the landlady treated me very well. A few days ago, the landlady's husband divorced her because there were other people outside. The landlady was so upset that he asked me to accompany her to the bar for a drink. Finally, the landlady drank heavily, and I drove her home. When I arrived at her door, the landlady suddenly said to me: I have a mouth ulcer and my mouth hurts. I said with concern: What then, do you need me to buy you some medicine? The landlady smiled, put her mouth together and said: It's okay, you can cure it with your saliva. I understood it at the time, and said generously: Then you wait, I will immediately fill you with a bottle.

11, cousin a new boyfriend, all day in the circle of friends in a variety of show love. Just now she updated a group of photos of eating a big meal with her boyfriend in the circle of friends. Looking at the various delicacies in front of them, I wanted her to pack a copy for me. Just leave a message at the bottom: "As a good sister, shouldn't good things be shared?" After a while, my cousin replied, "My boyfriend is not a thing." ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #