1, son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, marriage room,

1, son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, the wedding house, the wedding car, has bought the full money! Spot! Bring me back and get married! Your looks are good if someone wants to! Hurry up and get me back to get married!

2, on the subway, the three-year-old girl is very naughty, the man asked the little girl: You grow up, what do you want to buy for your father? Little girl: I'm going to buy daddy a villa and a sports car! The man was very happy, and then asked: What if you can't buy it for your father? The little girl replied very cheerfully: Then I will burn it for you! The man suddenly had a black line on his face!

3, my long-crushed female supervisor finally divorced not long ago, and I immediately launched a crazy pursuit of her. But I did everything I could to chase her and still lukewarm to me. Last night, I saw her circle of friends say: It's the most painful time of the month again! Then I quickly looked up various remedies for the treatment of dysmenorrhea on the Internet, and bought brown sugar ginger tea to send to her office. A few days later, she was with another male colleague who was pursuing her. I thought she needed brown sugar, and the male colleague helped her pay her the flower shells!

4, some time ago, I asked a friend to buy me a concealer, after a few days of use, found that the effect is obvious, after applying it like a change of person. Then, my husband was very curious why the effect was so obvious after applying it. I told him, "The role of concealer is to make pores smaller, cover freckles, brighten and brighten the complexion." After listening to my explanation, my husband suddenly realized: "I understand, just like the white scratch when we renovate our house." ”

5, back to school, the distance is a little far, to take nearly ten hours by train. Halfway hungry, soaked a bucket of instant noodles, just about to eat, sitting on the opposite side of a big brother smiled and asked me: Sister, what do you taste? I was stunned for a moment, smiled and said: Spicy beef flavor. He listened, suddenly smiled and patted his instant noodle bucket, and proudly said: Let's this, seafood! I listened to my heart for a while, and I said that I was several grades higher than me... I said helplessly: Big brother, we are all eating instant noodles, can you not pretend!

6. At the end of the year, I went to have a meal with a few old colleagues. A few of us did not have a salary increase, no promotion, and even the year-end bonus was canceled, so we planned to borrow wine to pour sorrow. A brother brought a bottle of wine, and as soon as everyone saw the name of the wine, the tears fell down, and some people suddenly cried with headaches. The name of the wine is Old White Dry...

7. Today, the sister-in-law showed off with me: "Brother-in-law, I have liked you for a long time, I know that you also like me, do you dare to divorce my sister and wander the world with me?" Before she could finish, I pulled her into the bedroom and pointed to the wedding photo on the head of the bed: "You see how loving I am with your sister." Then he dragged her into the study and pointed to the "City Sanda Champion" and "City Taekwondo Champion" award certificates pasted on the wall: "Your sister is so good, how can I be willing to leave her!" ”

8, today when I was shopping outside, I saw a girl pulling and pulling with a man, the woman always grabbed the boy's hand, and the man threw it away, and then grabbed and threw it again. Immediately after that, I saw men running, women chasing, women wearing high heels, obviously unable to catch up, a big cut. I suppose not just a man, as for? Let the girl save herself some dignity! It turned out that I thought too much, and after they ran for more than ten meters, they heard the girl shouting: Catch the thief! Sure enough, it was a good girl, silently playing with thieves for 10 minutes, not disturbing the people around her!?

9, with a friend pressing the road, saw a fashionably dressed girl, the friend stabbed me: "You see, there is a girl there." I said incomprehensibly, "How is the girl's quantifier a piece?" The friend said, "The maiden is a delicate creature." I suddenly realized and nodded with deep sympathy. Soon my friend stabbed me: "You see, there's a lump of women there. ”?

10. When I went to work today, I saw that the female colleague next to me had been lying on the table without saying a word. I asked her what had happened, and he looked up at me and cried again. At this moment, I noticed that her nose was covered in blood, so I handed her the paper. She told me it wasn't a nosebleed, that today she was wearing makeup on the bus and was wearing lipstick, who knew that the bus suddenly braked sharply, and the lipstick was directly inserted into her nostrils.

11, ▼ I want to go to Xinjiang to meet my first love, my wife bought me a sleeping ticket, and a young woman in the same sleeping car, I sleep on the upper bunk, she sleeps on the lower bunk. I was awakened at two o'clock in the night, and I woke her up: "Sorry to bother you, I froze to death on it, can you please hand me a blanket up?" The young woman: "I have a better way to let us pretend to be husband and wife, how about that?" I was stunned and quickly agreed: "Great, so what do we do now?" The young woman turned to face the wall of the carriage and said, "You are a lazy person, you don't know how to take it yourself!"

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #