The writer Mu Xin wrote in the poem "Once Upon a Time Slow":
The sun used to be slow; the cars, the horses, the mail were slow; there was only enough to love one person in a lifetime.
The years in memory always shine, and when a person has experienced the baptism of time, he will become fond of nostalgia, nostalgia for the childish things he once did, and nostalgia for the person he loved in his youth.
Some people say that the most sincere love in a person's life is only once, that is, the first love, only because when a person first germinates a good feeling for the opposite sex, his love is often simple and does not contain any impurities, such love is simple and beautiful.
However, when a person is young, he often misses his first love due to the immaturity of his thinking and the insufficient material conditions, and rubs shoulders with the most loved person in that innocent era.
This kind of missing out will become a deficiency in a person's heart, making him look back on the past many years later, and feel some sweetness and sourness.
Many people's unforgettable first love is actually not nostalgic for the first love itself, but he misses himself in the innocent and youthful era.
First, why first love is unforgettable.
First love is an unforgettable memory that many people hide in their hearts, even if they have rubbed shoulders with their first love for many years, once they hear each other's names, there will still be a different kind of feeling in their hearts.
Why is first love unforgettable? There is a famous "Chicconi effect" in psychology, which refers to:
People are always unforgettable about things that have been experienced but have not come to fruition.
The "Chicconi effect" explains the reason why first love is unforgettable, precisely because first love is always difficult to have a happy ending, so it will always make people feel deeply sweet, and there is also a sourness of missing love in their hearts.
Years later, no matter what a person has become in life, whether the situation he encounters is good or bad, he will want to draw a satisfactory end to this once missed love, see his former first love again, and see how the other party's life is now.
In my opinion, this is more like a compensatory psychology at work, precisely because I feel that I was too young to grasp the ability to love, so I want to try to make up for the lack of many years later.
The reason why people can't forget their first love is actually to miss themselves in that youthful era.
Second, the real first love is not as beautiful as imagined.
The human mind is a very mysterious thing, when a person recalls his first love, he will always inadvertently beautify it, but the real first love is not as beautiful as imagined.
In a person's memory, the most beautiful youth era, carrying all our imagination of beautiful love, the impression of him, with a young and beautiful appearance, with a funny and humorous personality, the time with him is always full of sweetness and happiness.
But those who are obsessed with seeing their first love, when they see their first love again many years later, the image of the other party is often very different from what he imagined, so that it will make himself disappointed now.
We miss the first love, in fact, we miss the beautiful youth era, miss the simple and beautiful self, in fact, the first love in reality is not as beautiful as we imagined, many years later, when we have the opportunity to see the first love again, instead of seeing each other, it is better to choose to keep the other party in the heart, so that the best image of the other party can always be stored in the heart.
Third, we miss our first love, in fact, we miss ourselves in that youthful era.
Remember your dreams as a teenager? That purest and most beautiful dream, when a person is young, has the richest imagination, has the most exuberant energy, even if our dreams are ridiculed and opposed by everyone, we will still stubbornly work hard for it, always dreaming of the day when the dream will come true.
When we are young, we also have beautiful fantasies about love, and we always think that as long as two people love each other, we can overcome all the obstacles of objective conditions and eventually come together with each other.
But with age, our original dreams have already changed their appearance in the baptism of years, although we still have a vision of beautiful love in our hearts, but our ideas are not as simple and naïve as when we were young.
Many years later, when we miss our first love, it is not so much that we miss the first love, but rather that we miss the most innocent self in the youth era, that simple thought, with strong energy and energy
First love is the most beautiful memory hidden deep in the depths of a person's heart, and the reason why we miss our first love is because we have the regret of missing our first love in our hearts, and we have the memory of that simple and beautiful time.
As we mature, memories of our first love will come to us clearly and beautifully, reminding us that we were young and beautiful.
But in order to remember the past years, it is unwise to see the first love again, because the beauty of our fantasy of the first love will definitely have a gap with the reality of the other party, rather than meeting each other, it is better to put the other party in the heart and remember.
Store the most beautiful appearance of first love in memory, store the most innocent self in memory, let them be hidden deep in our hearts, and remind us to cherish the present and live the life in front of us.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)