Yi said that the gathering place for women's growth, may you not wear armor, you can resist thousands of life is not easy, welcome attention.
Before watching "Heart Residence", I saw a comment that Gu Qingyu in the play, whether in the workplace or in life, is a woman with an IQ online and is very shrewd, but as soon as she encounters love, she becomes silly and sweet. Because of such a preconceived label, I have been watching the end of the play before I come to talk about Gu Qingyu's love.
I don't think Gu Qingyu's love is silly and sweet, she has a paranoid side to love, but it is more of a pure, attitude towards love She is serious and simple. She has also grown a lot in love and marriage, making her high and cold side slowly softer and more considerate of others.
Gu Qingyu is a professional white-collar worker, a backbone of the company, a workplace elite, a proper workplace white bone essence type of woman, from the ability to live to the inner strength, are very powerful women. As she said to her father, others looking for a romantic partner to find someone with a house and a car, she wants to find someone who has no house and no car.
She is not without suitors, nor is she rejecting love marriage, on the contrary, the people who pursue her have not been lacking, she also longs to have a love marriage, but she is different from others, she has always had a goal in love, and this goal has never changed.
That is, her classmate Shi Yuan when she was a teenager. When Shi Yuan left Shanghai that year, he and Gu Qingyu met again in the old house, but since then there has been no shadow, Gu Qingyu has not forgotten this agreement, and has been waiting for Shi Yuan's appearance, which is more than ten years.
Sounds very romantic, very fairy tale, but also means that it is not realistic at all, Gu Qingyu after work, not without love, but are fruitless, the root cause is because her heart is obsessed with Shi Yuan.
Until one day, she met Shi Yuan. However, fate always likes to joke with persistent people, so that Gu Qingyu meets Shi Yuan, and the encounter between the two people is quite embarrassing. However, Gu Qingyu still chose to marry Shi Yuan, and at the moment of marriage, Gu Qingyu's growth began.
For Gu Qingyu, when she meets Shi Yuan again, she has to go through marriage and divorce in order to grow, not only for her, but also for the love between them.
Don't laugh at Gu Qingyu's attachment to first love, many people have such a complex, why do they remember their first love? Is it because the first love is more beautiful and romantic? Or is it because the feelings of first love are more memorable?
Not really.
In psychology, there is a concept of unfinished complex, in psychological counseling, it will also be through the simulation of unfinished things for the client to complete, to achieve the role of repairing psychology. For people, there is an innate internal drive, that is, when doing things, like to have a beginning and an end, this phenomenon is called the Zeigoni effect, also known as the Zeignick memory effect.
Psychologist Zeignick did an experiment in which two groups of people did the same math problem at the same time, but one group suddenly stopped halfway through, and the other group finished. Then let the two groups recall these mathematical problems, and found that the group that did not finish it obviously remembered it more clearly than the group that did it.
Why? Because the group of people who have done it has done the beginning and the end, they have the greatest psychological satisfaction, so they will not think about it and will soon forget. And this group of people who have not finished, because of the sudden stop, do not get a sense of satisfaction, will always be obsessed, and have an unfinished complex for this matter.
The Zeigny effect is a good explanation of why people are obsessed with their first love or rejected love. Because an unsuccessful relationship becomes something that is not completed, it will take root in the heart and become an obsession. Gu Qingyu is like this, her memory will always stay on the day when the teenager Shi Yuan left, that agreement became the biggest unfinished event in her life, even if she talked about countless loves, she still could not let her heart get satisfaction.
In Gu Qingyu's emotional world, people with unfinished complexes will do all the things they do. Generally speaking, such a person will show two extremes in the future work, either become very stubborn, obsessed with trying to complete this unfinished knot, just like Gu Qingyu has been waiting for the emergence of Shi Yuan; or become no longer durable, are tigers and tails, halfway abandoned, Gu Qingyu has been in love after going to work, but can not get married, even if they are together for a long time and will eventually break up.
So, how to deal with this unfinished complex? Before Gu Qingyu met Shi Yuan again, the handling of this unfinished complex was blind, that is, falling in love with different people, to fill the results at all, and could not solve her emotional problems.
Her real growth was to meet Shi Yuan again. To say that after Gu Qingyu met Shi Yuan again, she became a silly white sweet in her feelings, this evaluation is unfair to gu Qingyu's role, she did not become a silly white sweet, but little by little to make herself stronger and make her feelings more mature.
Goodbye Shi Yuan, it is no longer the talented and very elegant Shi Yuan of that year, the work is not decent enough, and life is still very sloppy. It can be said that from the time Gu Qingyu and Shi Yuan met again, it opened the prelude to re-understanding Shi Yuan, but the heroine on this stage is very strong in her heart, and every time the cruel reality tears off Shi Yuan's veil, it is a destruction of Gu Qingyu's young dream.
Gu Qingyu was disappointed, but she did not collapse because of this, she still believed that the love between two people felt real, and the heart of two people who loved each other was completely sincere.
She has seen Shi Yuan's humility as a tour guide, and she has also witnessed Shi Yuan returning to the alley where he lived to play mahjong, and also seen the funny of Shi Yuan as a host. To be honest, every time there is such a moment, I am very sad for this girl who is proud of herself.
However, next I admire her courage and common sense in the face of these embarrassments, she did not collapse because she accepted reality, she knew that the dreams of her youth were beautiful, and now the days are real, and the current Shi Yuan is Shi Yuan standing in front of her, not Shi Yuan, who once stood at the entrance of the alley wearing a white shirt.
When reality shattered his dreams, Gu Qingyu did not collapse, Shi Yuan collapsed first, the cruel reality, the trickery of fate, let him panic in front of Gu Qingyu, inferiority in this relationship, Gu Qingyu can accept the gap brought by reality, Shi Yuan can not accept. Regarding Shi Yuan's inferiority, I will start a separate conversation.
This is also the most essential reason why their marriage has come to an end, marriage is a matter for two people, relying on Gu Qingyu alone to face it calmly, it is impossible to achieve the well-being of two people. Their marriage can only be said to be a continuation of the dream of youth, so that the unfinished complex is ended.
The marital state that Gu Qingyu wants cannot be obtained in the current marriage, and it can only be said that they need to end once, and if the fate is not exhausted, starting over can make the two people more mature in their feelings. The ending is open-ended, although full of regrets, but closer to reality, feelings and this day, there is a process of change and maturity, no matter who can accompany you in the end, you will always meet the right person in the right place, in order to have feelings and marriage that make you feel at ease.
Gu Qingyu said that no one knows what will happen in the next moment, just as in this rapidly changing era, everyone goes around, there is hope, there is disappointment, there is progress, there is compromise, there is smoothness, there are detours, but no matter what, in the end, we will find our own spiritual residence, this is our life.
(The pictures are all from the screenshots of the TV series "Heart Residence", if there is infringement, please contact to delete)