1, last night with female colleagues in overtime, we both chatted without a word. The female colleague suddenly asked me: Do you have an object? I shook my head and replied: No. The female colleague stared at her

1, last night with female colleagues in overtime, we both chatted without a word. The female colleague suddenly asked me: Do you have an object? I shook my head and replied: No. The female colleague asked me with big flashing eyes: You are such a good person, why don't you have an object? I laughed at myself: People are ugly, and they have no money, and only girls with bad eyes can look at me, right? The female colleague said shyly: Actually, I have not looked good since I was a child. Listening to the words of the female colleague, I turned to look at the big eyes of the female colleague, those big eyes are so beautiful, clear as water, as clean as the moon. I sighed and lamented: Alas, I am blind to this pair of big eyes!?

2. Last night, the female manager asked me to drive with her to meet customers, and socialized until more than twelve o'clock in the evening, so she opened two rooms in the Super 8 hotel and slept. At two o'clock in the morning, I was awakened by a phone call from the female manager, who said that she was alone in the room and was afraid and asked me to accompany her. I woke up suddenly, and I said you can come to my room and sleep. Then I went to her room after she came, and then I was fired when I went back to work...?

3, these days a Ukrainian friend came over, at the beginning of the time asked him to drink Maotai, he said good drink, like. Yesterday at noon, I invited him to drink the second pot head, and when he drank it, he was excited, and it felt fantastic, and the taste was so refreshing. But the moment felt a little unhappy... Foreigners are straightforward, saying that such a good wine, why didn't you invite him to drink it yesterday? I told him that the further back on, the better the wine, and I was going to ask him to drink the donkey tomorrow! What do you think?

4, my friend is very good in all aspects, looks very good, but the personality is like a woman. Her husband loves her very much, but she always bullies her husband and ignores people by throwing a small temper at every turn. When her husband asked her for afternoon tea one day, I advised her not to always be like that, and that a man's patience is also limited, and to cherish it. The next day her husband called me in panic: Can you help me ask my wife, I will say what I did wrong! Yesterday she actually took the initiative to apologize to me. I didn't dare to eat yesterday's meal, for fear of poison in the rice.

5. Erlang and his girlfriend quarreled before going to bed last night, and then neither of them paid attention to anyone. The next morning, after Erlang got up, his girlfriend was no longer there, and he didn't care. Then I washed up and went downstairs to the restaurant for breakfast. When he went to the restaurant, he ordered a bowl of noodles, and when the noodles were served, he saw his girlfriend and a strange man talking and laughing at the corner table. Erlang glanced at it and continued to eat casually. Halfway through the meal, his girlfriend came up to him and said, "Aren't you jealous?" Erlang was confused for a while, and she didn't say that she had really forgotten: "Boss! Add some vinegar to me! ”

6. Driving the third uncle's Maybach out of the house, he bumped into a beautiful woman. Beauty didn't want to lose money, and I had to marry her to take care of her for the rest of my life, so I had to agree. That day, I drove my wife on a Porsche to a wilderness ridge, only to turn off the fire near a village and never to fight again. At this time, two old farmers came and said that there was a car repair shop nearby, but it was quite far away and had to be pushed over. They said they could help me push the cart, the price was 500, no ruts, they gave them 500 to let them push the cart, the two guys pushed sweaty, and finally pushed it after more than half an hour. The wife said: 500 ah, you are really willing! I said: Yes, I've been holding the handbrake!

7, a few days ago on vacation, found a part-time job to deliver takeaway. Deliver a takeaway tonight, and when she arrives, she's a beautiful woman who comes to open the door with only a T-shirt. I was afraid that she would complain that I was taking advantage of her, so I turned my face and handed her something. As a result, I still got a complaint... She called the customer service and said: What do you mean by this delivery? Don't even look at me squarely, do you think I look ugly!?

8, female colleagues borrowed 100,000 yuan from me, said to pay me back in three months, now half a year has passed, during which she was urged several times, but it was not repaid, yesterday I went to her house in a huff and found her: It has been half a year, when do you plan to return the money to me? "Female colleague said: money money money, you know money, in the urge to pay me back money, you believe it or not I will marry you, and then according to the custom, you have to give me a dowry of 200,000 yuan, deduct the 100,000 owed to you, you still want to give me 100,000." The female colleague drank a sip of water and said excitedly: After marriage, I will give you a son, let you buy him a house and a car in the future, and then there will be no millions that cannot be solved. I chuckled and said, "Then how do you know if I'm going to marry you?" The female colleague sneered: "Then do you think you walked out of my door?" I looked at the female colleague of 158 pounds, and suddenly felt a pang of fear, the money was gone and I ran out.

9. I am an English teacher and I am honored to be able to proctor the college entrance examination this year. It was during a math exam that I spotted a boy who was behaving strangely. Although the boy had been writing questions, he had a hand under the table and words in his mouth. I thought to myself: Dare to cheat under my nose and see if I don't kick you out! Walking over, this child was holding a string of Buddhist beads in his hand to pray and bless himself...

10. After match married his wife, he wanted to have a son, but his daughter-in-law gave birth to 10 girls in a row. Matches can not afford to be raised, can only sell the daughter, the daughter is slender, wearing a little red riding hood, but it is easy to sell. For every time one is sold, the match must be said to the buyer: "It is still small, don't wipe it when you buy it, you can't light it." The buyer immediately asked for a return, and the match said: "Once sold, there is no return or exchange!" Buyer: "Since this is the case, I can wipe it as much as I want when I buy it back, and you can't control it!" ”??

11, my daughter said to me solemnly: Dad, you must not put money in the bank, the money will be gone! Me: Why? Daughter: Every year I press the New Year's money, my mother said that I was deposited in the bank, and the result was gone! Girl, you are right, your father and my salary were also deposited in the bank by your mother, and it was gone! daughter:...... kindness.

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