I put Moutai wine in a mineral water bottle, went to the restaurant to eat, and happened to meet Fa Xiao, who had not been seen for several years. I gave Fa Xiao a full cup, Fa Xiao took a look, thinking it was loose wine, a little bit of no

I put Moutai wine in a mineral water bottle, went to the restaurant to eat, and happened to meet Fa Xiao, who had not been seen for several years.

I gave Fa Xiao a full cup, Fa Xiao looked at it, thought it was loose wine, a bit of a look of contempt, but still drank.

After a while, he couldn't help it and said: Waiter, come to the bottle of Maotai. ”

Then he unscrewed the lid and filled each other with a cup, took a sip and said, "This is much more comfortable to drink." ”

2, when I was a courier, I got along with a girl who lived in Country Garden. After we both watched the movie last night, I drove her home. When I got to her door, I said to her, "Honey, I have a mouth ulcer and my mouth hurts a lot." She asked me with concern, "So what to do?" Why don't you buy some medicine. I grinned as I approached her and said, "It doesn't matter, you can cure it with your saliva!" Her face immediately turned red, and she said very generously: "Then you wait, I will go back and fill you with a bottle now..."

3, the brother-in-law colleagues gathered and drank big on the road and bumped into a pregnant woman, resulting in a miscarriage.

People demanded 600,000 yuan in compensation, and my daughter-in-law sold my Prado in order to help my brother-in-law pay back the money.

When I went to work the next morning, I had to catch the bus.

By the time we reached the platform, the car had started.

So I had to chase after me and shout, "Master, wait for me!" Master, wait for me! ”

Just then, a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Eight precepts, don't chase." ”

4, almost a score of 985, had to go to college, in the school to see the school flower at first glance I was attracted by her.

Yesterday I went to an open class, and I didn't expect that the flower was sitting in front of me.

When the old professor was lecturing, the department flower held the mobile phone to play games, standing and being lectured by the teacher.

The old professor said breathlessly: "If you continue like this, how will you make money in the future and how will you support yourself?" ”

I slapped the table on the spot and yelled, "I'll raise it!" ”

Suddenly there was silence in the class, and Tie Hua turned to look at me and slammed her phone on the ground.

5, the wife inadvertently saw that her husband had a "wife" stored in her mobile phone, but the number was not her. She didn't want a divorce, so she called back to her husband behind her back, hoping to save the relationship. When the phone was connected, the voice of a stout, mature male uncle came, and she cried, feeling that she had been deceived more seriously. But what she didn't know was that there was another class of people in the world, and their surname was Po.

6. My cousin has been learning art with a lock unlocker for three months. Yesterday I broke the key in the lock and quickly called my cousin over. After more than twenty minutes of busy work, the cousin shook his head helplessly, suddenly took two steps back, kicked hard, and the door opened in response. The cousin clapped his hands and said: This lock is very strong, if you want to, you must at least kick more than three feet." It turns out that you studied with your master for three months and practiced this footwork?

7. My cousin has been divorced twice, and has not found a partner since. On this day, my cousin said that she had found a returnee and wanted to invite me to eat a plate of grilled meat for 138 yuan. I went happily, and at the dinner table, my cousin sighed, "It's 25 years old... I also sighed: "Yes, time flies so fast, you are getting married again..." My cousin gave me a blank look and said, "I mean, you have eaten 25 plates!" ”

8, I have been in love with my young and beautiful girlfriend for five years, yesterday I went to my girlfriend's house as a guest, and the old man suddenly pulled me to the study.

Old man: This is 1 million, leaving my daughter.

I said politely: I am not a material person.

The old man continued: 3 million.

I still say: We really love each other.

Husband: 7 million, plus a Ferrari 458, leaving my daughter.

I silently took out a check, handed it to the old man and said: This is the 20 million yuan that my aunt gave me, let me marry your daughter, or I will marry your daughter first and then divorce?

9, recently the company came a beautiful woman, to the boss of various hugs, want to engage in ambiguity, the boss did not appreciate the reply to her: I am not married, you can also consider considering, I am married, are you so interested in my money or look at my people? If you like me, I will go home and discuss with my wife to see if I can apply to sleep with you for one night. The beautiful woman walked away with a black line and did not come to work the next day. The boss put his arm around the female secretary in the office and said: Xiao Sample, it was clear that she was my wife's girlfriend.

10, a friend works at the bank, and today was complained about.

She said that today came a stuttering uncle, and the uncle said to her: "I, I want, save money, save money." ”

The friend said to him kindly, "Uncle, have you carded?"

Uncle Was excited at that time: "I, I, you, you, card, card, card..."

The friend hurriedly explained: "Uncle, don't get excited, I am asking you, card, is the cassette?" ”

Uncle Da was even more excited: "You, you special, again, learn again, try a sentence?" ”

11, when my brother came to my house, for my mother to bring noodles, my mother said to me: go buy some pork, pork stew noodles are delicious. The next day my brother brought shiitake mushrooms to my mother, and my mother said to me: Go buy a chicken, the chicken stew with mushrooms is delicious. On the third day, my brother moved his stroller over, and my mother said: Go find a daughter-in-law and have a baby quickly.