1. The son was not admitted to college, so he found an old classmate who was the chairman of a state-owned enterprise. The chairman is very cheerful: let him be the deputy general manager, with a monthly salary of fifty thousand, and a daily meeting is enough. Me: Give

1. The son was not admitted to college, so he found an old classmate who was the chairman of a state-owned enterprise. The chairman is very cheerful: let him be the deputy general manager, with a monthly salary of fifty thousand, and a daily meeting is enough. Me: Just give a general position. Chairman: Be the assistant to the general manager, the monthly salary is 20,000, and pour tea for the general manager. Me: Let's start with ordinary salesmen. Chairman: Our salesmen must at least have a master's degree, the salary is very low, and the salary is still in arrears!

2. After graduating from college, he entered Huawei as an executive, represented the company to negotiate with Qualcomm, and finally obtained the right to use Qualcomm-related technologies. Although Qualcomm will pay 1.8 billion, the future profits far exceed this figure. Today I returned to China, the boss was very happy and sent me a bonus of 100,000 yuan. Because I had been on a business trip for a month and wanted a daughter-in-law, I immediately went home. When I got home, I saw that my wife was still asleep. I couldn't resist the excitement, and shouted in my wife's ear: Your husband is back. Then she suddenly got up and muttered in her mouth you go fast, you go fast! Haha, my wife is so cute and makes me laugh.

3, female colleague just divorced, bad mood, ask me to go to drink. Colleagues a game, I went, she drank a little raw, picked up a bottle and blew, completely wanted to get myself drunk, I was secretly vigilant, just divorced like this. Mo was not looking for a receiver, so I quickly asked, "I'm not pregnant!" She said no. I was relieved. At ten o'clock in the evening, she was already half drunk and said, "Brother, I have nothing now, you take me in." "I have some hesitation, she is 30 years old beautiful, the figure is good, people love, it is said that the divorce is because of spending money and spending a lot of money, I am hesitating, when I interact with her, then the 678 yuan in my pocket, is not it impossible to keep? What to do?

4. I have been practicing subjects for two weeks at driving school. The coach's temper is a little big, he can't move to roar, the more I yell at me, the more nervous I am, just reversed into the warehouse and pressed the line. Coach: After so many days of study, how can it be so stupid? I was nervous, the gear lever was broken by my board, and I got out of the car with the awkwardness of the gear lever. The coach looked at my guy and thought he was going to beat him up so much that his face changed color, and he ran away. As he ran, he said: Don't mess around, didn't I just scold you twice? Don't do it!

5, the company is on holiday, the next morning I drove to prepare to go back to my hometown. As a result, the road was still blocked, and I was very impatient. When I was a child, there was no sign of leaving, I didn't eat in the morning, and my stomach was very hungry. I really don't have a trick, I plan to order a takeaway to eat. When I saw that the delivery time was about 30 minutes, I felt a little drumming. After all, half an hour is not short, in case you run out of the distance, and the takeaway brother can rub shoulders! After thinking about it for 3 seconds, I decided to place an order... Because the car has been moving at a turtle speed, the takeaway brother has come, and I have not yet reached the place written in the address.

6. After the final exam, the little fart children have been pestering me to ask if they will be taught after the summer vacation, and I said not necessarily. Then a question: Teacher, where is your home? I said why? Don't tell you, she said my mother said, summer vacation to find you to make up lessons. I go, I usually see that you are already bored enough, do not let me rest after the holidays, dream of you! So I said to her, no, I never make up lessons, I'm annoyed! Unexpectedly, this little girl immediately pulled my arm and said: Don't do it! Teacher, I am your eldest daughter! You are even closer than my mother, don't leave me behind... I was stunned and I said Hollywood owes you an Oscar!

7, most of the night suddenly received a message from a female classmate who had been missing for 10 years, she asked me to go to supper, I did not want to go, but I could not stand her beautiful ah, so I agreed. Halfway through, I got another call from her and she said, "Don't come, we're no longer a world of people!" "I was scared and quickly turned around and went home. The next morning, I asked in the group, "Is so-and-so dead?" "A few minutes later, the female colleague's phone came, scolding and grinning at me, I was even more scared, I could call in the daytime, how high this road was, in order to prevent accidents, I dropped the phone and stepped on a few feet. This is not nothing, the most infuriating thing is that at the half-month class reunion, I saw her...

8, the cousin has kissed countless times, each time is a failure, or the woman does not like him. But my cousin looks sunny and handsome, and there is nothing wrong with it? Once, my aunt and I secretly went on a blind date to see what was going on. Seeing the cousin handsomely walked in front of the girl, it can be seen that the girl was very satisfied with the cousin at the first glance, and the next second, the cousin took out an air cushion from the bag, cocked the orchid finger, and said to the girl: Oh, my makeup is spent, I want to make up the makeup. "

9. When I was in junior high school, I had a very good relationship at the same table, and he came to my house for dinner on weekends. I finished eating the food in my bowl, and then I said to my father: Dad, I haven't eaten enough! Unexpectedly, my classmate naturally took my empty bowl, filled it with rice and handed it to me. And then what I will never forget in my life is this: my dad's outstretched hand and my mom looked at me with a dignified expression!

10. My cousin does not go to work on weekends, prepares to sleep at home, and is dragged by his sister-in-law to go shopping. The sister-in-law saw a dress at the clothing store, and then cut the price with the hostess for half a day. After tossing and turning for half a day without cutting down a penny, my sister-in-law was angry with her cousin: "I know to play with my mobile phone all day, can't you help me cut a knife?" As soon as the words fell out, my cousin rushed up and slashed the full-body model in the dress to the ground with a knife... The original price of 3000 clothes, hard to spend 3500 yuan, do not buy do not let go!?

11. Today I went to the pharmacy to buy medicine for my daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law, and then walked in to buy medicine for a local tycoon. At this point, the pharmacy nurse said they had a new instrument that could detect what was missing in the human body. The local tycoon tried it, and then the instrument showed that he was a little deficient in calcium. Then the local tycoon bought a lot of nutritional products. I also tried it and the physical condition was not good, the nurse pushed me!! Recommended a lot of nutritional products. I said, "Your instrument is not accurate, I am still missing something, it has not been detected." The nurse said, "What?" I said, "I'm short of money." ”

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