1, weekend to the market to buy crayfish, by the way bought a bag of salt, the boss said good, I casually put the salt on the scale, the net weight of 500 salt is only 450 grams. I looked at the boss, him

1, weekend to the market to buy crayfish, by the way bought a bag of salt, the boss said good, I casually put the salt on the scale, the net weight of 500 salt is only 450 grams. I looked at the boss, who was also staring at me, and then "bar" all the crayfish for me and said: This selling name is really not face!!!!!?

2. On the wedding night, the groom was drunk and returned to the cave room drunk. Seeing that the bride was asleep, the groom bent down and kissed her, only to accidentally wake the bride up. The groom smiled at Mimi and said, "Wife, I like your cherry mouth!" Unexpectedly, the bride directly slapped the groom and scolded: How much have you drunk? Kiss my navel eye!?

3, one day in the mobile phone business hall recharge, the front of the girl's back is very charming, take advantage of her turn to see, really a beautiful woman. When she reported the number to recharge, I quietly wrote down her number. At night, I suddenly remembered this beautiful woman, so I plucked up the courage and sent a text message: "How about making a friend?" "Who are you?" "I'm standing behind you today to charge the phone bill." "Oh, my girlfriend charged me today." "

4. I met my wife on a self-driving trip to the Sichuan-Tibet Line, when her car broke down and I helped her. Now that we've been married for ten years, today is her birthday, I'm going to make her a meal myself. I was cutting shallots in the kitchen, and I was in tears when my 5-year-old son came up to me and asked: What's wrong? I just wanted to explain, but I didn't expect him to rush to say: Don't you want your daughter-in-law's birthday? See you happy and still crying, after going out don't say you are my father...

5. I met my girlfriend from college and talked for 3 years. Both are liberal arts subjects, coupled with strict tutoring, have not dared to make excessive progress. Today I went to pick up my girlfriend for dinner, and before leaving, I reported the arrangements of the day to my future mother-in-law. Finally: Auntie, rest assured! Feel right before five o'clock to send her back! The future mother-in-law came to the sentence: Then what are you busy with a day for?

6. After graduating from college, I began to eat at home and never went out to look for a job. It was boring at home, so I played games with my phone. My parents looked at me every day and often disciplined me. Today I gritted my teeth and gave my dad the tablet that I had used for half a year, and taught him how to watch TV and how to search for opera. Then I was playing with my phone in the house, my mom was training my dad in the house, and today my dad came to me to discuss that he wanted to buy a tablet for my mom, and my dad paid for it.

7. The chairman of my company is my husband-in-law, and after I got married, I was promoted to general manager and often traveled with him. Arrived in a small town yesterday and there were not enough hotel rooms and we had to sleep in the same place. When I leaned on the head of the bed with my laptop and talked to Bill, the old man said, "The screen of the notebook is too bright for me to sleep, so you better go to the living room and surf the Internet." So I ran to the living room with my notebook. After 5 minutes, I only heard my father-in-law shouting inside: "I can't sleep, you better go to the bedroom and surf the Internet." "I was weird and asked what was going on. The old man sighed and said, "I am very uneasy that you are chatting on the Internet behind my daughter's back!" ”

8, the wife bought a good and expensive dog. In order to make a good call, I gave my name to the dog. So I complained, "Dear wife, you gave my name to our puppy, so that we can both get it wrong a lot." I don't know who you're shouting at. Unexpectedly, the wife smiled and said, "No, husband." When I barked the dog, my voice was particularly kind. "Me: ...

9, I and my father-in-law drinking, I don't feel that both of them are drunk high, I pointed to my wife and said to my father-in-law: Boss, I want to return! The father-in-law shook his head and said: Seven days of free return time have passed, and it cannot be refunded! He also pointed at his mother-in-law and said: If I want to retreat, I will retreat first!

10, last week the rich asked the girl who had a crush to eat Western food. She was silently planning to order foie gras and open a bottle of more than a thousand red wines, when the girl said, "I'm sorry, I'll go to the bathroom!" The rich man witnessed the girl's back disappearing and secretly opened the bag she had left in her seat. He glanced at it, then said to the waiter in a dashing manner: "Here are two 48-dollar packages..."

11. My wife went on a business trip, and my sister-in-law had to drag me shopping with me. Walking into a clothing store, the cabinet sister enthusiastically recommended and pulled me to try on clothes: this one is definitely for you! I couldn't try it: it was big! Cabinet sister: There is also a smaller one, try again. Turning around to get it, I had to try again: it was still big. Cabinet Sister: I think it is very suitable. Me: Don't you know when I dress myself? I say big is big. Cabinet Sister: Which big one do you say? Me: I usually wear about 30 pieces, and this torn dress is actually more than 5,000, and the price is big. Cabinet Sister: ...

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