1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. One in my heart

1, there is a young woman in the unit divorced, when she left work this night, she secretly stuffed a card for me, I walked to the place where no one looked, it was a hotel room card. My heart skipped a beat, and I thought to myself, is this the legendary peach blossom luck? At this moment, the boss stopped me and told me to make a plan, which I would have tomorrow morning. I was resentful, but there was no way, who made her my boss? The boss Shi Shiran left the company, I thought for a moment, found another female colleague Amei, she has a strong business ability, if you let her help me do this plan, it will be no problem. Ame smiled and said, is there a date at night? I smiled and said nothing, Ame nodded and said, if you want me to work overtime to help you, you give me two thousand yuan. I didn't say a word, and directly transferred two thousand yuan to her. She patted me on the shoulder and said, you go, the plan is handed over to me.

2. I have been immersed in studying before college, and I have never experienced the feeling of jujube love. So as soon as I started my freshman year, I started chasing beautiful girls in school. But they all rejected me, and I doubted my appearance. That time back in the dorm room, I asked my roommate who was playing a game, "How do you feel about me?" Don't lie to me! He thought for a moment and replied, "It's sunny!" I was immediately happy: "It seems that I am not bad looking." He shook his head, "It's just a little glare!" ”

3. When I was a child, the conditions at home were particularly good, thanks to the fact that my grandfather was the mine manager, and his monthly salary was tens of thousands. Mom and Dad were idle at home every day, so they opened a grocery supermarket. When I was a child, I was hungry and stole snacks when I had nothing to do, and there were many things in the lottery promotion at that time. One day stole a bag of snacks to win the lottery 3 yuan, went to my mother to claim the prize, my mother picked up the broom and hit, while playing while saying: stealing to eat I did not care about you, now you still come to claim the prize for money!?

4. My daughter-in-law got her driver's license yesterday, and as a spoiled wife, I immediately bought her a Maserati president. Today, my wife drove the president to work. Half an hour later, my wife called me: the car is running out of gas, I have turned around here without a gas station, what should I do? Me: No way, I just filled it up yesterday. Wife: Now the pointer is in the end! Me: You send a picture and I'll see. After seeing the photo, I said: Wife, can you not use the water temperature as a fuel gauge?

5. A friend of my mother who opened a marriage agency introduced me to a boyfriend. After eating together, I walked around outside and saw that there was an electronic scale, and he asked me to go up and weigh it. We had only just met, and of course I didn't want to, so I said that it would be heavy when I had just eaten. As a result, he bought ten hydrogen balloons for me to hold in my hand and weigh them, saying that this would offset the weight of what I had eaten...

6, my son is four years old this year and still does not want to go to bed alone. At night, the daughter-in-law pestered his wife to coax him to sleep. I said to him viciously, "Boy, there can't be a second man on this bed, understand?" The son looked at me and was about to cry, and my wife hurriedly persuaded: "Son, don't cry, your father is right, let's let him get out!" ”?

7. One day at a school sports meeting, I won the championship, and I extended a friendly hand to the other party. Me: "I'm lucky, why don't we change our suits twice?" Opponent: "No, no, I can't change it if I kill it!" I laughed and said, "You don't have to be so stingy if you lose, do you?" Opponent: "Big brother, this is a swimming competition, how do you let me change with you?" ”

8, today with 1 + 1 goods girlfriend to visit the supermarket, because of the purchase of more things, we both took a part of it. At the checkout desk, my girlfriend was right behind me, and she said to me: Handsome man, help me settle the bill, I will kiss you. Under everyone's watchful eye, I settled the cost of the part of the thing that my girlfriend took, and then my girlfriend actually kissed me. At this time, a girl next to me spoke: Handsome man, help me tie the knot, today I will go with you. I:......

9. My sister-in-law came to my house to take a bath, and my daughter-in-law was afraid that I would peek and drove me out of the house. I was smoking on a park bench when I suddenly saw a dirty boy. He stared closely at a bag of milk in the hand of a little girl, who drank it and threw it on the ground. He hurried over to pick up the bag on the ground and put it in his mouth. I thought he was pitiful, when the little boy blew the bag to the ground and slammed it into the ground!!! There was a loud bang, and then the little boy walked away happily!!! I thought to myself: Silly boy, there is so much milk in it that I don't know how to drink, and now it's cheaper for me!!!?

10. In December last year, the river in our hometown had begun to freeze. I made a titanium harpoon myself as the book says, or the double-sided one, which is particularly sharp. As soon as I stepped into the cold river, I instantly felt that my foot was unconscious. After waiting for about a few minutes, I finally saw a black fish swimming towards me. I held my breath and hit it. I just couldn't find where the fish was, and when I looked down, it turned out that the harpoon fork was on my own foot!

11, five-year-old daughter learned a painting class, a dance class, the semester is over, the dance class won an award, the painting class did not get, the daughter is a little disappointed. The husband checked it in a treasure, a certificate only needs a few cents, so he wholesale 100 pieces, and this stupid all at once to the daughter, the child has been confused for half a day...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #