1, a week on a business trip, come back to reimbursement, the female boss gave me more than eight thousand eight, no merit, I am resolutely not. The landlady said: "Go to help me clean up the apartment after work, and buy more beds by the way."

1, a week on a business trip, come back to reimbursement, the female boss gave me more than eight thousand eight, no merit, I am resolutely not. The landlady said: "Go to help me clean up the apartment after work, and buy more quilts by the way." As soon as she said that, I agreed. After work, I first bought a quilt, and then went to clean, the general hourly worker to clean up a house is estimated to be a few hundred yuan, deducting the 300 to buy a quilt, the female boss gave more money, so I do housework very seriously, meticulous. From 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., I was tired, but I secretly told myself to be worthy of the high pay. I was going to stay up all night, but the landlady knew what was wrong for 3 days at night, and suddenly got angry, threw me out of the house, and scolded me: "Fool! "Mad, angry man, if you don't give a lot of money, believe it or not, I went in and beat her??"

2. Some time ago, when driving my hometown, I was stuck on the highway. For two or three hours, I was motionless, and I wanted to go to the toilet, but there were cars all around, and the service area was still far away. Suddenly I remembered that there was a piece of water in the back, so I got out of the car and took a bottle of water and drank it. Then I went back to the car and took advantage of the bottle. After a while, I was in a hurry, and I went to get a bottle of water to drink... After repeating this many times, the car window next to me rolled down, and the eldest brother gave me a thumbs up and said: Brother good kidney, see you drink I am in a hurry! I went, the car window didn't roll...?

3. When I first entered the workplace, it was a great honor to be photographed and put together by a 30-year-old female boss. On this day, I took a walk with my female boss: "It's so cold! Me: "Come, put my down jacket on!" Ten minutes later, the female boss: "Still cold!" Me: "I put on the down jacket, and it won't be cold in my arms!" Ten minutes later, I said, "Ouch! Why squeeze me so hard, my thighs must be purple! Female boss: "Won't you?" Go, find a hotel I'll show you! ”

4, last night friends please go to KTV, everyone called a girl. The man sitting next to me was pretty, and in the middle she touched my handlebar and played with it, singing a few songs together. At the end, she put her face against my face and said a word: It is not easy to earn some money, don't come to this kind of place in the future, look at the cocoon on your hands, save some money for your sister-in-law and children.

5. Recently married to her boyfriend who has lived together for 3 years, and her married life is happy and happy. After marriage, my wife and mother were anxious to have children, but my addiction was too big, and I could only have children after quitting smoking. I heard that my cousin had successfully quit smoking, so I asked him for a lesson. Cousin: "Alas, I quit a few times before, and I smoked it again in a few days, this time your sister-in-law said a word, my brother didn't dare to smoke anymore." Me: "What did my sister-in-law say, so powerful?" Cousin: "She said, smoke it, if you quit, one day you will smell smoke on me, I can't explain!" ”

6, blind date to meet the ex-boyfriend, just met the brother an impression of the feeling is OK. Unfortunately, the good times did not last long, and it broke after two weeks, because it was found that he was too picky! Reluctantly, I texted him and said, "Let's break up!" After ten minutes, he came back to me and said, "Oh okay, don't text back, this is my last free text message this month!" ”

7, the wife is a kindergarten teacher, the personality is particularly gentle, never red face after marriage, every time I am not happy she will patiently enlighten me. Today the company sent me to study, and I told my wife the news. After listening, she said: Your boss really has a pair of eyes and knows how to appreciate your advantages! I smiled awkwardly: what are my advantages, the boss was ready to send someone else at the beginning, and then the suspects worked too fast and were not careful enough, so they decided to let me go. Wife: This is your advantage, always half a beat slower than others! I......

8, the heat of the college entrance examination soared to the extreme, the local bus company deployed air-conditioned cars for parents to cool off, and this car is 985 road and 211 road! Parents shouted: I like it too much, Heavenly King GaidiHu, all on 985! All on 211! The trumpets are all shouted, and this parent is very bullish! Support students, after the exam will be assured, parents are anxious, children are also anxious!

9. I replaced the Passat with an Audi R8, and planned to drive my mother-in-law and my husband to eat Haidilao! When I came to my mother-in-law's house, my mother-in-law said, "Whose new car are you driving?" I said, "I bought it for 2,000,000!" The mother-in-law said, "Where did you get so much money?" I said, "When I booked the car, I paid 100,000 in the early stage, and then I put together the salary and the year-end bonus at the end of the year, and I could get it done!" The mother-in-law was furious: "You are a big liar, don't you mean that you and your ex-wife have no contact for a long time?" If you don't have contact with her and don't have a close relationship, can she pay you 100,000 yuan? I said, "Old man, confused." ”?

10. Working in a self-media company, the performance of this month is particularly poor. The female supervisor is in a bad mood every day to find stubble, and colleagues are cautious. Just this morning, the female supervisor will let everyone think about how to improve performance, can not play mobile phones, found a fine of 200. The day without a mobile phone is really difficult, go to the bathroom at noon, secretly take out the mobile phone to see, brush the circle of friends, and see the female supervisor send a selfie. I saw that she was actually wearing a short skirt, with a particularly charming figure, and couldn't help but like it, and now she was queuing up to go to the office to pay the fine...

11, dad said to me: "In fact, your mother is quite concerned about people, and when the day changes, she will ask me if I am still cold?" If I get hurt, I'll ask if I still hurt? I said, "Then why don't you care about people now?" Dad was upset: "Why don't you care?" Every time she slaps you, she will ask with concern, is her mouth still hard? ”

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