My husband divorced because his ex-wife was not pregnant, and after being introduced, he married me. Not long ago, I was watching TV with my husband on my stomach, when suddenly my husband's phone rang, and it was his ex-wife who called: "I."

My husband divorced because his ex-wife was not pregnant, and after being introduced, he married me. Not long ago, I was watching TV with my husband on my big belly, when suddenly my husband's phone rang, and it was his ex-wife who called: "I'm pregnant." The husband replied: "Don't think about me, we have been divorced for a year, absolutely not mine." Ex-wife: "I know, I just want to tell you that it is you who is wrong!" ”

Take a bath with my girlfriend, she has to let me take off first, I take off my shirt, she also let me take off my pants, I said are you sick? She didn't speak, and when I had finished taking off my pants, she took off her clothes and went into the shower, washing and washing her and saying: You don't take off your pants, I thought you were a man...

Invited to the female colleague's home as a guest, her husband hotel cook, cooking is very good, we started from 5 p.m., ate until 10 p.m., when her husband was already drunk, I thought I should go, but the female colleague did not let me go: "Brother, don't go, I'm afraid he's crazy." "I am a kind and soft-hearted person, worried that the female colleague was beaten and left behind, and she stayed behind her husband and did not sleep all night." Miraculously, people slept soundly, and they didn't even turn over, and I went to my female colleague breathlessly and said, "Look at you, people don't play drunk at all." The female colleague glared at me and said, "He's not crazy, I'm crazy, leaving you such a fool." "Mader, I kept her husband all night, I was not grateful, I actually scolded me, I was angry at once, if it wasn't for her husband just waking up, I could fight with her, do you believe it?"

When I was about to graduate from junior high school and went to bed in class, my English teacher called me up to answer the question: Is tomato a fruit or a vegetable? Suddenly forget, just pick it: it's fruit! The teacher immediately narrowed his eyes, and the front row whispered that I was wrong. Fortunately, I said with tact: it is vegetables. The teacher was even angrier and led me out of the classroom, and I learned later that it was me who had been asked to translate.

5. The old man had a fever, and the mother-in-law quickly drove him to the hospital for injections. The nurse looked at the old man's ass and smiled, saying, "Big brother, your tattoo is really interesting!" The old man was confused, and the mother-in-law asked the nurse in confusion: "Tattoos, what tattoos?" The nurse pointed her hand at Doraemon on the old man's ass and said, "Isn't that it!" The mother-in-law's face turned red when she saw it, and she quickly said, "You misunderstood, that's my husband's panties fading!" ”?

6. The son wanted to eat a hamburger and took the neighbor's children to Burger King. The neighbor's children are more able to eat, saying that the portion size of the hamburger feels much less than before. I ignored it, but I found that my son had been staring at a little Lolita who was eating ice cream, and his saliva was about to flow down! I asked him: Do you want to eat? Want to eat to buy for you! The son thought for a moment and said: I don't want to eat, but I want her to be my girlfriend, can you help me?

7, just recently changed a mobile phone number, V signal also 7, I have a very cute little niece, is more naughty, often make fun of me. Once I went to my brother's house to play, and my little niece mentioned that I didn't have a boyfriend, and I was very angry, so she beat me up again. I was crying, my sister-in-law came in and asked the little niece why? I glanced at my little niece, and she cried even harder, and she said, "I cried because my aunt didn't find a boyfriend to marry, and I felt bad in my heart."

8, three customers are in the conference room waiting for our chairman to go in, I went in to pour water, one customer reached out and tripped me, the tea spilled on the other two customers, and then three people fought. After the chairman sent the three customers away, he asked me: "Today, the three customers are bleeding from the fight, and you don't go to the fight?" I keep telling you that your customers are God! Forgot all about it? I wiped my head and replied, "Battle of the Gods!" How dare mortals intervene? "The next day I was dropped off by the chairman to the R&D department because of my whimsical ideas...