1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance

1, the first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and did not dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to a sentence: my stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.?

2, I am a person who is particularly easy to be distracted, no matter what I am doing, as long as I have something in my heart, I am prone to making mistakes. When I went to work in the morning, I was thinking about things while riding. Suddenly, without noticing, a big brother riding a motorcycle crossed in front of me, and he yelled at me: Don't you look at the road when you ride a bicycle? Such a wide road can not be seen clearly, what are you thinking? I was stunned for a moment, and then I said to the eldest brother with some embarrassment: I was just thinking about what to eat at noon today. Big Brother was speechless in an instant.

3. On weekends, Xiao Huang took Xiao Li to visit the safari park. In the wolf park, they got out of the car and looked at the wolves closely, when suddenly the wolves rushed at them. Xiao Huang fell off Xiao Li and drove away, fortunately the staff saved the girl. Xiao Li slapped xiao huang twice and angrily scolded, "You are a bastard, and you even left me alone." Xiao Huang covered his face and said, "Didn't you learn the art of wolf prevention, are you still afraid of wolves?" ”

4, the company opened less than half a year out of business, overnight poor, I borrowed 850,000 online loans to buy a Mercedes-Benz S-class running Didi. Today, when the car was closed in the morning, I saw a beautiful young woman on the side of the road, one holding a bag and the other holding a dish! A man suddenly ran from behind and pulled the bag, and the young woman smashed the dish in her hand and turned around and kicked again! I immediately got out of the car to check, and when I went up, I realized that the man was her husband, and he was smashed by his woman's wife!?

5. Yesterday, I took my wife and children to my mother-in-law's house for dinner, and a large family was watching TV in the living room. My son is five years old this year, it is the age of mischief, I have to say that he is better than me, what he does, I dare not follow it, I have to bet with me. Also because of boredom, I agreed with interest. I saw my son walk to my brother-in-law's wife, hug her and kiss her, and say in a milky voice: "Auntie, you are the most beautiful, I like you the most." After saying that, he looked back at me. I..., well, concede! "

6, tight hands, send a message to dad to borrow some pocket money. After a while, Dad called over: I saw that you sent a message to borrow money, I called to make sure, and thought your WeChat ID was stolen! I quickly said: It's me, it's me, Dad, borrow some money to spend, open a salary to pay you back! Dad: I'll make sure it's not you, I'll hang up the phone. Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

7, the brother-in-law opened a family guess, into 200,000 yuan of goods, their own 180,000 yuan, his wife and him divorced! Today my brother-in-law asked me, "How can I make my wife happy?" I replied, "There are two ways to make a woman happy, the brother is to buy her a bag, and the second is to tell her jokes." "The next day, my brother-in-law came to see me with a blue nose and swollen face. Brother-in-law: "What fart method taught me, it is not easy to use at all, I was beaten by my wife!" I asked, "How do you do that?" Brother-in-law: "I said to my wife, my wife I want to buy you a bag, my wife just smiled, and I said, I am joking with you!" ”

8, our store specializes in buying sporting goods, one day when the wife buys goods, the boss sends spikes, she does not want. I was in a hurry, really a loser, why not for free? It will always be useful in the future! The daughter-in-law was very obedient and took the initiative to ask for two pairs for others. Half a month has passed, spike shoes really come in handy, not to mention, the knee hurts too much, I went to the hospital first.

9. I received a reminder from my husband's salary card, and the salary arrived. The wife was very happy, planning to treat her husband, and called and asked: "Honey, what do you want to eat?" I'll buy it back for you after work. The husband listened, and the surname Fen said, "Oh, great, I want to eat roast duck!" The wife smiled slightly and said, "Well, within 5 yuan, pick it anywhere!" Husband: "That, ten portions of roast duck for 5 bucks." ”

10. When I was in college, a sister loved beauty very much, and in order to maintain her figure, she had a diet meal every day, and only one day could she eat a piece of meat. When it was time to eat meat, the sisters came to the delicatessen and said to the boss, "Can you cut me fifty cents of meat?" The boss did not show abnormality, cut a slice and quickly chopped it, and said kindly: "Feed the turtle, I will chop it up for you!" ”

11, with the landlady for a week on business, came back she gave me a day off, I slept directly until two o'clock in the afternoon. Later, when I woke up hungry and went downstairs to eat, I burped when I ate noodles and shouted that the boss would pay for it. As a result, it hit the sore spot in my chest, and the pain caused my tears to flow down the spot. The boss looked at me with a shocked face while holding up the money and covering my chest while shedding tears.... A month later, I came to the noodle restaurant again and ordered a beef noodle. The boss looked at me and said cautiously, "Recently.... Beef noodles... The price has risen! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #