1, my mother has not returned from overtime in the company, and my stomach is very hungry. Just say to my dad who is watching TV: I'm hungry and want to eat. Dad said: I'm hungry too, your mother hasn't come back, yes."

1, my mother has not returned from overtime in the company, and my stomach is very hungry. Just say to my dad who is watching TV: I'm hungry and want to eat. Dad said: I am hungry, your mother has not returned, what can I do? You go and look in the mirror! That mirror was just bought by your mom yesterday, so it would be better. I asked curiously: Don't you look in the mirror and your stomach is not hungry? Dad said: Your mother has not eaten since she looked in the mirror yesterday.

2, sister paper: "Honey, if we get married, will you quit smoking?" Riot Year: "Well... Yes. Sister Paper: "What about wine?" Riot Year: "Well... Also. "Sister Paper: Playing cards or something?" Riot Year: "Oh... All right! Also. Sister Paper: "Honey, you're so nice, do you have anything you want to give up?" "Get married." ”

3, a few days ago the party drank too much, let the girlfriend to drive, met her father on the road, pointed to my nose and scolded: I don't know my girlfriend's sense of direction is not good, you still dare to let him drive, why is it so fat? I sighed at her dad. Her father turned to my girlfriend and said, "Girl, slow down!!!!!

4, girlfriend said that her aunt's cousin is very handsome, as a hate married woman, instinctively asked, married? The girlfriend patted her thigh and said, Oh, how did you forget to introduce your cousin to you, the cousin is not married, they are single for four years and have not been in love, or you invite me to play for a day, I introduce my cousin to you? I listened to it with great joy, invited him to dinner and invited her to sing, and finally she brought her cousin, no, to be precise, by her, who was only four years old. You say, how do you make this fake girlfriend?

5. Essay of a classmate in my class in the second grade of primary school: "This weekend I went to my grandmother's house in the countryside, and the mountains were full of ripe potatoes, hanging on the branches and swaying with the wind. "Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework?" My classmate: It was too cold today, and my dad used my homework to make a fire to keep warm.

6, last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, just got the driver's license of the wife actually drove my Mai Teng back to her mother's house. I told my wife to pay attention to safety when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent telephone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbag, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

7, the sister-in-law and her boyfriend officially broke up the next day, in order to make the scumbag regret, to borrow the husband's Porsche. Although the sister-in-law has a driver's license for several years, she rarely drives. In the morning, when I was still dreaming, I was woken up by my sister-in-law's phone, confused, and listened to my sister-in-law whispering: "Sister-in-law, I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbags, and what is the insurance company phone number?" Don't worry, the car is no big deal! ”

8, hilarious and funny jokes, walked to the fruit stall and asked: How much is an apple for a pound? The peddler said: 10 yuan 4 pounds, 20 yuan 10 pounds, the more you want the cheaper! Beauty said: How much is it free? The peddler said: I don't have an object yet! If you take me too, it will be free to eat apples for the rest of my life! Beauty is gone.

9, the wife has a way to run the family, the husband's daily pocket money is decreasing. One day the wife asked, "Husband, do you think I'm getting slimmer?" Husband: "Yes! Wife: "How slim is that?" Husband: "You can all get into the eyes of money." Wife: "Nima, this pocket money is canceled." "Husband...

10. On April Fool's Day in high school, the goddess in my class fed me an Oreo cookie. I took a bite of it excitedly, and it was full of toothpaste. The girl was surprised and said, "That's toothpaste!" How can you eat it? I smiled and said, "Because that's what you gave me." "Through the window the sunset sprinkled on her face, her face was macro, I hit!

11, recently mom fascinated by P map, every day holding the mobile phone all kinds of P, the meal can not be taken care of, and dad said"look at my mother, every day to P out of the photo smirk, but also think that they are really young, "dad face a sinking" Deadpool said what, no matter what your mother becomes, in my heart will always be eighteen years old, you are still stunned what to do, cooking. "I...

12, my sister came to my house as a guest, my wife proudly showed off to my sister: your little nephew is very sensible, and recently began to learn to stir-fry. My sister threw a look of approval at my son and said, "I didn't expect you to be a little warm man!" The son listened, and the problem of contradicting the adults was committed again. He said: No, aunt, I am watching my father stir-fry vegetables can be eaten while cutting, stir-fried and eaten at the same time!

13, husband: "In fact, men and women are worried about the same thing." Wife: "Tell me more." Husband: "They are all afraid of the same thing, and men are most afraid of not having money." Wife: "What about women?" Husband: "I am most afraid that men will not have money." ”

14, online love girlfriend for a year, after meeting to know that the other party is a female boss, she stared at me directly, said: you come to my company to work, give you another position. As a man, how can I possibly rely on a woman? I didn't want to eat soft rice, so I decisively refused. The next day, she bought the company I worked for, I became the general manager, and then...