The peasant couple was kidnapped shortly after getting off the train, and the kidnappers demanded 1 million! The old farmer said, "I can only get 100 yuan." The kidnapper shouted, "Poor, I obviously heard you on the train."

The peasant couple was kidnapped shortly after getting off the train, and the kidnappers demanded 1 million! The old farmer said, "I can only get 100 yuan." The kidnapper shouted: "Less pretending to be poor, I obviously heard you say on the train that 200,000 yuan will be used to build a new house, 500,000 for your son to marry his daughter-in-law, and you will also travel, buy a car, and eat seafood!" The peasant paused and said, "Cough, you didn't hear the previous words, I and my daughter-in-law are daydreams after winning the jackpot!" But we don't have extra money to buy lottery tickets!

2 Accompany the sister-in-law to deal with the violation, I looked, my car for her a month actually had seventy or eighty violations, at that time even the people who did the work were stunned, she was curious, suggested me to watch the video. So, the three of us began to watch the video, you said that the sister-in-law looked at the smart and beautiful, red light at the intersection, people directly turned left.

The clerk looked at my sister-in-law with contempt, looked at me again, and whispered, "Brother, if it weren't for the fact that your car was Maserati, I would have suggested that you change cars." The sister-in-law was immediately angry, and reached out to beat her, and the two of them quickly fought together, and the clerk took the time to say: "Brother, I suggest you change people, find a gentle and virtuous one." ”

I didn't say a word, this is a sister-in-law, not a daughter-in-law, gentle and not gentle, something about me. But she does love to beat people, and I eat with her 25 times a month, at least 22 times. I looked closely at the clerk, the little girl seems to be good, I was wondering if I really had to change someone to drive my car? At this moment, the sister-in-law said: "Brother, hit her... Or go back and hit you at night! "I was scared as soon as I heard it, I ran out of the house, I had to hide in my girlfriend's house to see how she hit me?"

3 After the death of the old man, the mother-in-law and a rich man fell in love. It didn't take long for the mother-in-law to be brutally abandoned by the rich, and the mother-in-law was heartbroken. I actually drank a bottle of paraquat for a short time, but I met and tried desperately to stop it, but she drank it anyway. Quickly sent the mother-in-law to the hospital to wash the stomach, infusion, and oxygen. I knew that my mother-in-law was not saved, and I held my mother-in-law's hand and stayed with her for a whole week, and my mother-in-law actually woke up and was still very energetic. I felt something was wrong and asked my mother-in-law, "Where did paraquat come from?" The mother-in-law hesitated for a while and said: "Limited time rush, 9 pieces of 9 bottles!" Heartache killed me. I said, "No wonder you drink that paraquat." ”

4 The son of the kindergarten is on holiday today, and said that he would take him to the Fantawild Amusement Park to play, but he was unwell and could only rest at home. Me: Son, Dad is not feeling well today, he can't take you to play, when my illness is better, will I take you again? Son: Dad, what's wrong with you? Are you going to be okay? Me: Dad just got sick and it'll be fine in two days. Son: Then tell me the password of the computer, I can play with the computer.

5 Once, the boss organized a dinner party for all the employees to meet a single cousin who met a beautiful woman, which was exactly the type he liked. My cousin hurried over to talk to her, only to learn that she was from the finance department and had never seen her. After the event, she offered to send the beauty home, and the beauty gladly accepted. After sending her home, my cousin said to her: Can I go up and drink water? She looked at her cousin and said seriously: Are you sure you want to go up? The cousin nodded, and the beauty said: "Okay, then come on! When she got to her door, she turned back to her cousin and asked: Are you really sure you want to go in? My cousin quickly nodded, and the beautiful woman took the key to open the door and entered the house, and I suddenly found that the boss was staring at my cousin inside.

6 A big uncle went to pay the electricity bill, the staff saw that the cost of the uncle was very low, curious to ask: Uncle, your home electricity is so small? Uncle is very proud: I have a trick! Staff: Don't you watch TV? Uncle shook his head: Visiting the door at night, watching TV and drinking tea and saving air conditioning costs, good luck can also drink a few cups of good tea. The staff laughed: How can you visit people's doors every day? Uncle was even more proud: relatives, friends, colleagues, and neighbors took turns queuing up.

7 There was a big deal today, and I went to the bank and withdrew a million in cash. No sooner had he pulled it out and put the money in a bag than a man shouted, "Don't move!" "I was startled, thinking that this was a robbery, so everyone was stunned and motionless. Then my brain started racing, thinking about how to get out of here safely, and the security guard nervously leaned over with the electric baton. At this time, I only heard the man shout again: "My contact lenses have fallen off, don't you break them for me!" ”

8 Recently, when a bank loan came down, I took the money to see a Porsche on a used car website. I made an appointment with the car owner's sister to talk in detail, and finally I negotiated the price and spent 580,000 yuan to get it. After buying a car, she became my girlfriend. As a result, within a year, both parents urged us to get married quickly, and we got married. After getting married, the car was still driven by her, I still didn't drive the car, I seemed to be deceived! 

 #年度搞笑名场面 #