1, once upon a time there was a mountain, there was a temple in the mountain, there was an old monk and a small monk in the temple, and the old monk said to the little monk: "A monk visits the website, two monks chat qq; three monks fight the land."

1, once upon a time there was a mountain, there was a temple in the mountain, there was an old monk and a small monk in the temple, the old monk said to the little monk: "A monk visits the website, two monks chat qq; three monks fight landlords, four monks fight upgrades; five monks fight the emperor, six monks brush copies; seven monks huluwa, eight monks kill in three kingdoms; nine monks play stickers, ten monks play DOTA." “

2, when I was in college, I had already planned to start my own career, but I didn't expect to start just now, and I was arranged by my mother to go on a blind date. In the café, the girl opposite me saw that I was dressed normally, looked down on me a little, and asked me about my income and real estate. I was a little annoyed and said to her, "People can't be disguised!" I started my own business, do imported materials, and the business is all over the country. She hastened to ask for forgiveness for her disrespect, and then she asked me about my business. I smiled and told her that I was selling melon seeds in a treasure, and I am currently a three-star seller of a treasure, and I have sold more than ten catties!

3. When I realized the fact that in my idle and wasted days, my friends around me were trying to make money, there was a trace of peace and relief in my heart. Fortunately, the country's economic development has not been delayed by itself.

4, the light bulb is extinguished, I carefully checked it, the tungsten filament is not broken. I pressed the switch again, and the light bulb flashed twice and went out. I asked, what's wrong with you, aren't you happy? The light bulb replied, Wait a minute, there is a moth watching me outside the window for a long time. I said, that's not good, someone can see you. The light bulb said, I am not a fire, don't let her see it wrong, mistakenly for a lifetime.

5, the disco dancing, a man pasted a woman said, "Honey, marry me." The woman said, "I want you to marry me in eight sedans." Then the man ran away, and after a while a waiter came up and said, "Miss, there is a gentleman at the bar shouting that he wants to marry you." ”

6. The rich man did real estate business in Beijing and bought a Maybach. I don't know what's going on today, and black smoke is constantly rising from the rear of Maybach's car. I was about to drive the car to the 4S shop for repairs when a man rushed over. Regal: What's wrong? Man: Can I decorate your car exhaust with bottles? Regal: What are you pretending to do with this? Man: My wife wants to go to Beijing to play, I gave this to her, let her know the smell of beijing air, she didn't want to come!

7, just graduated from the first job is always overtime until very late, once to 4 a.m., and then go to the hotel, too sleepy to fall on the stairs, knees touched the edges of the stairs, but too sleepy to go to sleep, two colleagues a room, in the morning up the middle part of the sheets are full of blood, I will never forget the front desk girl to look at my eyes when I check out!

8, just went to the toilet at school, almost good, a student pushed the door open, I was stunned, she closed the door again, only to hear her and her little friend say: "It's the teacher." Two seconds later, the girl pushed the door open again and shouted, "Hello teacher." "Shut the door again, kid, you're teasing me!"

9, just after giving birth to the sister-in-law, a sneeze will leak urine. The cousin was very unbeautiful when he found out. For the sake of their husband and wife harmony, I bought a belt online. I said, "Sister-in-law, this belt will help you." The cousin said sadly: "It is useless, I only ate one two days ago, and it is useless!" ”

10, the third year of high school, immediately college entrance examination, finally decided to confess to the goddess, after a wild chase, the goddess finally chased the hand, excited, on her doorstep kissed her, the next day at noon after school, a boy found me, said to me "don't move xx in the future, especially at her doorstep." "I was angry at the time, well, you can't catch up and dare to track, immediately go up and beat up." When I went to school in the afternoon, my buddy quietly told me that the boy in the morning was her brother!

11, buddy pulled out wisdom teeth, can not eat. Catching up with his company dinner, he insisted on going, saying that if he couldn't eat, he would drink some soup and watch everyone eat. To tell the truth, it's not that I know that his table of 10 people, 8 and a half is a sister paper, almost believed...

12, some buddies have been married or have girlfriends, and he is still single. A buddy called: What's Christmas? Back: No matter what the TMD festival is, it can only be Singles' Day! Nima, a person is really boring, idle egg pain! Just hung up the phone, some text messages sent one after another, one by one to read, all are: happy leftover eggs! ......

13, the company opened a coffee shop downstairs, the business is not bad. Every afternoon, someone in the company group asks: I want to buy coffee, does anyone want to bring a cup? Then everyone began to say what to drink, and half an hour later, the owner of the coffee shop came up with a box of coffee to collect the money. It took nearly 3 weeks before anyone noticed something was wrong. The person who proposes to buy coffee in the company group every day is not our colleague, but the owner of the coffee shop!

14, Guan Yu tugged at Liu Bei's sleeve and said, "Big brother, I don't want to go on a business trip with the military master anymore, he always farts!" Liu Bei was furious: "Ridiculous! You are a tiger general, the knife cuts the axe and chisel are not afraid, can a few farts collapse and kill you? Guan Yu: "The eldest brother doesn't know ah, the physical injury is still secondary, the key is that every time he puts his fart back, he frowns and shakes the fan to pretend to be innocent, and the people around us look at our faces and think that I put it!" ”