2. There was a peasant who lived very poorly, and the peasant prayed to the Jade Emperor every day. Farmer: "O Jade Emperor, please let me win 5 million!" "But until the farmer died, he didn't."

2. There was a peasant who lived very poorly, and the peasant prayed to the Jade Emperor every day. Farmer: "O Jade Emperor, please let me win 5 million!" "But until the farmer died, he didn't hit 5 million." When the peasant saw the Jade Emperor after his death, he asked angrily, "I prayed like you so religiously, why didn't you fulfill my wishes?" The Jade Emperor said helplessly, "You should buy a lottery ticket!" ”

3, my mother-in-law sent me a message: "Son-in-law, my coat is broken." "I was so sad to hear that my mother-in-law couldn't even buy a pair of pants, and my father-in-law was too harsh on him. So I sent 5,000 red envelopes and said, "Go buy a coat and be nice to yourself." The mother-in-law seconds: "It's still good son-in-law, but that coat can't be thrown away, that's what your father bought for me yesterday, and the child is a good liar." ”

4, the company's situation is not good recently, yesterday accompanied by his wife to go shopping, always wandering thinking about the company's projects. I saw a nice wallet at a stall in the middle of the pedestrian street, and the price was 500 yuan. I still paid 200, and my wife said: You are stupid, just this at most 100 yuan is almost the same! Unexpectedly, the stall owner actually agreed. I happily took it home, as soon as I opened it, there was actually a 100 yuan inside, and my mood instantly changed. Spent 100 yuan to buy a second-hand goods, ahem! How can people who do business now not pay attention to integrity!

5, the group of people who bought masks, I really didn't expect you to have today!! Hahahahahaha today a friend looked for me to say that his mask hoarding can not be sold, a total of 2000 and 1600, now rotten in the hand really laughed at me, she said now to lose death, I still said that sentence should not earn money we do not want to earn !!!

6. I entered the company since graduation, worked hard for more than ten years, won the trust of the leaders, and was sent to talk about an important business. The better we met at three o'clock in the afternoon on the 16th, I bought a high-speed rail ticket at 0:10 on the 16th. I waited until 11:30 a.m. to walk slowly to the high-speed rail station. However, when the pointer skips 11:59, the date inexorably becomes number 17.

7, a classmate's father has been running around for many years, he is very lonely. On this day, the classmate looked at his father who was leaving, and suddenly asked him how much he earned every day. The classmate's father said 600 a day, and then the classmate saved enough 600 to give to his father, and his father was moved to cry. Then I went to ask my dad about his daily income, and he said, "Around 2,000, what's wrong with my son?" Me: It's okay, I'll just ask.

8, Zhou was not at home, the 5-year-old son said to me: "Dad, you gave me an arithmetic problem other than 100, I can now figure it out." Dad: "Really? Then you tell me how much 600+600 equals "son:" 600+600 equals 12 hundred. Suddenly, the whole family laughed.

9, 9 multiplied by any positive integer, the resulting mode is added up to 9: 3x9=272+7=916x9=1441+4+4=9867x9=78037+8+0+3=181+8=99575183x9=861766478+6+1+7+6+6+4+7=454+5=9

10, the old man has worked in the coal mine all his life, recently retired, idle at home bored I gave him a fight landlord to play! I also gave him my account, which contained the 80,000,000 happy beans that I had worked so hard to save, and I was lost by the old man! The old man was particularly angry, decisively uninstalled the game, and then planned to raise fish to cultivate his temperament. But his brother raised ah, the technology is too poor, goldfish mortality rate is quite high. When the boss went to buy goldfish again today, the boss couldn't help but ask: Uncle, you tell me the truth, do you buy this goldfish to raise, or do you buy it back to eat? 11, the man went to the bank: "Help me withdraw the money." Bank clerk: "Hello, you have 1800 yuan in your card." Man: "Seventy thousand!" The bank clerk was full of black lines: "There are only 1800 in it..." The man: "Yes, I want seventy thousand." Bank clerk: "There are only 1800 inside." The man was impatient: "Seventy thousand! Bank clerk: "Oh! You mean 'take it all' right? The man was angry: "Yes, my ordinary hair is not damaged?" ”

12, I grew up with no other hobby is usually love to smoke a cigarette, but every time I buy a cigarette, I have to go through the nod of my daughter-in-law. Two days ago, the daughter-in-law called the supermarket near her home to send two Huazi, one 800 yuan for a total of 1600 yuan, because they were acquaintances who received a hundred yuan less and a hundred more private money. My daughter-in-law came home and said to me: The person who delivered the cigarette said that he would charge us 200 yuan less, and the money would be paid. In order to smoke and not want to hit the muzzle of the gun, he obediently took out two hundred dollars. My wife now asked me where the two hundred dollars came from, and I sat on the couch shivering and afraid to speak.

13. After paying my salary, I handed it all in, and my wife gave me 20 yuan more pocket money. I took all my pocket money to buy the lottery, but I didn't expect to win 10 million, and there were 9.5 million in hand after the process! I secretly bought a house in Country Garden under my own name, and deposited 5 million yuan into my own account. I wanted to relieve my parents some pressure, so I opened another account for myself, which saved 1 million. I bought a house for my parents, and the full price of the house in my hometown was more than 2 million, and I did not pay the full amount, probably 60% of the money. Unexpectedly, my wife slapped me awake and the alarm clock rang again. 14, I and my sister-in-law fought the landlord, the sister-in-law grabbed the landlord, and then she immediately surrendered! The two of us looked at the sister-in-law's card and smiled forward and backward. "King Bomb, Four Three, 456, 8910" Although there are two bombs, the others are single cards, and there is no doubt that they will lose! The sister-in-law said lightly: Brother-in-law, you understand, no matter how good the card is, no "wife" can't do it! Even if there are four small threes, it will not work.