★ My girlfriend and I grew up wearing a pair of pants, but after all, I was beautiful and gentle, and she was a woman. When she grew up, every time she quarreled with her boyfriend, she could beat her boyfriend to cry, and then her boyfriend returned

★ My girlfriend and I grew up wearing a pair of pants, but after all, I was beautiful and gentle, and she was a woman. When she grew up, every time she quarreled with her boyfriend, she could beat her boyfriend to cry, and then her boyfriend would cry and beg for peace! Once her boyfriend came to me and cried when he saw me! I cared to ask him if he was arguing again? Her boyfriend wiped a tear and said: Xiaoya, you and her are the best friends, you tell me, is she not in love with me anymore? Why didn't she beat me up last night, but instead apologized? I haven't slept all night!

★ One of my buddies is better at repairing electrical appliances, and was once called to her house by my sister to help repair the computer. The broken computer could not be repaired, at this time the girl lay on his back and said: "This is very difficult to repair, it is better for us to rest, or not boring." The guy felt that his technical strength was greatly challenged and dirty, gritted his teeth and said, "I will definitely be able to fix it!" ”

★ After graduating from Nanjing University, I went to a company, and after unremitting efforts, I finally became a manager. On my way to work today, I noticed a grandpa pushing a stroller on the non-motorized road. There was a bank cash truck in the back that drove into the non-motorized road, and when he saw that the uncle was blocking the road, he kept honking the horn. Uncle looked back, completely ignored him, and continued to push the stroller slowly, muttering in his mouth: You are the car, I am also the car.

★ The other day I went to the RT-Mart supermarket, and I picked up a sack at the door with 20,000 yuan in it. I was so excited that I kept wondering how to spend this windfall. But I saw that the money was all new, rolled up in rolls, tightly wrapped in a handkerchief. I suddenly understood that this should be tuition, so I made up the picture of an old father carefully handing the money in his hand to his child. So, I immediately went to the school radio station with money, successfully found the owner, and sure enough, it was the tuition fee of others, and they all cried. I asked for her V-letter, and after a long time we became friends, and after a few days, she got along with her brother who was announcing the radio station.

★ Yesterday with the buddies on the string, the two of them drank a case of beer. When I was older, I said to my buddies: Yesterday my girlfriend wrote me a love letter. Dude: Really fake, you must have cheated on it! Me: That's right! I told her that I had written a 200,000-word romance novel, just 200 words to the end, and she wrote it to me that night!

★ Today my husband went to my father's house with two large bags of Maotai to drink with his old man's house. When he came back, his husband was already drunk, so he ran to the couch and started meditating, breathing. I smiled and asked him, "Why did you get the martial arts secret book?" After the husband had worked hard for a while, his face turned red twice, and then he said slowly: "Today I drank so much Maotai and I was blind when I spit it out." ”

★ I've loved boy outfits since I was a kid, and I'm now married. Today I had dinner with my husband's hometown, and my father asked: What happened to the boy in the street corner who used to fight for you when you were a child??? My husband replied vaguely: Married. Dad: That's good, it was so ugly when I was a child, I was really afraid I couldn't find a wife. I slammed the rice on the side. I wouldn't tell him that the boy was me, and that he was now his wife.

★ When I got home from work in the afternoon, my mom asked me to buy white vinegar at the supermarket downstairs. At that time, I bought a bottle back, and as a result, my mother thought that the vinegar I bought was not good, let me change it, and when I changed it back, my mother ran three or four times to find various reasons to harm me, and finally couldn't bear it, so I gave it back. The mother smiled and asked: How about the new boy in the supermarket??? I help you inquire well, there is no girlfriend, you can talk more when you are fine!!! Immediately I was shocked: it was over, when I went to change the vinegar, he said that I deliberately looked for stubble, and I was angry on the spot and spilled it.........

★ Yesterday I received a wind chill, and I had a high fever at night, so I couldn't bear to go to the hospital for injections. Then I said to the doctor, "Doctor, I don't have to do a skin test this time, anyway, I have never had allergies before doing a skin test." Doctor: "Have you bought 10,000,000 in the color drift?" Me: "No, every time I buy and every prize I don't win 10,000,000, it's a small prize!" Doctor: "I didn't win before that, so I didn't have to claim the prize after that, and I didn't win it before anyway!" ”

★ I told my colleagues: Pretending to be my girlfriend for thirty thousand at a time, she agreed, and in less than three months, she ran to me angrily and asked me, how long are you thirty thousand times, it will not be a lifetime. I asked her how long you thought it would be appropriate, and she smiled and said, "As long as you don't want the jewelry your parents gave me back, it will take as long as possible." It feels like it's a long-term plan!#Funny##幽默搞笑段子 #