1. There is a buddy, once was chased by someone, the other party is a girl, very beautiful. The buddies wanted to chase her, and the girl was a cold beauty, saying, "Stop! I'll fix your car, don't think about anything else

1. There was a buddy who was chased by someone once, and the other party was a girl, very beautiful. The buddies wanted to chase her, and the girl was a cold beauty, saying, "Stop! I'll fix your car, don't think about anything else. So, the two agreed to meet at the auto repair plant the next day. Unexpectedly, the girl brought a middle-aged woman over. The buddy glanced at the woman, the foundation was slightly thicker, the corners of her eyes were raised, and she had done beauty at a glance. Although the gluttony is very young, the actual age should be in the forties. Judging, it was the girl's mother. Dude smiled in his heart, there is! He said to the girl, "What's the matter, I still brought my sister to make a big noise!" The girl glanced at him and said, "This is my mother!" The middle-aged woman said to the buddies: "What kind of eyes do you have?" suddenly smiled like a flower on her face, and asked the buddies: "Is auntie so young?" The buddy said in surprise, "Oh, auntie, I don't mean to disrespect you in the slightest." Seriously, no one can see that you are her mother. "The woman is happier... The brother hit the iron while it was hot, and asked: "Auntie, I dare to ask, were you legally old enough when you gave birth to her?" The woman sneered and said, "The age is a little younger, but it has reached 22." "That middle-aged woman likes buddies, when asked about her profession, she was a doctor, and she said it was good." Ask again, there is no object, the woman is happy, said that my daughter does not have a boyfriend! The buddy left contact information for the aunt. Within a few days, the woman went to the hospital to find her buddies for a physical examination. Half a year later, the buddies got their wish to hug the beauty!

 2. We met an airline captain on a blind date, and we both felt good about each other and were together. Today, he drove me home in a Porsche to meet my parents. Unexpectedly, the sister-in-law turned out to be my classmate, and when she saw me, she immediately cried out loudly: "Brother, you can't be together!" Boyfriend: "What's wrong??" Sister-in-law: "She is my classmate." Boyfriend: "What's the problem?" Can't I be with your classmates? Sister-in-law: "I am for your own good, you forgot that I am an accounting major??" Her accounting is known for being good at school. ”

3． Yesterday with gifts to see the future father-in-law and mother-in-law, did not expect to catch the evening rush hour traffic jam, the girlfriend called his parents to eat first, do not have to wait for us! Later, after eight o'clock came, her mother immediately warmed up a few dishes in the kitchen and brought them out! Probably too hungry, I devoured a large bowl of praise and said, "Auntie's cooking is so delicious." Her mother laughed and said, "This is what your uncle did!" Just about to go to add food, I was embarrassed and at the same time, I had a clever move: "Auntie really can manage people and guide well." At this time, a roar came from the sofa: "Boy, you don't exist when I don't exist?" ”

4． The brother-in-law smashed a BMW car for a while, and the old man had to set up a stall at the night market to sell men's clothes in order to help him pay back. He felt that young people were pursuing fashion, so he wore a pair of beggar pants with broken knees! Once his shoelaces were open, he squatted down and tied them with his head down. A big aunt walked to the side and stopped for a while, then took out 1 yuan and bent down to put it in the lunch box! When the old man looked at it, it was not obvious that he regarded himself as a beggar. The old man was very angry at that time, and immediately scolded: "Look down on people, don't you?" "The big mother was scared, and immediately made up a 100 piece of it, directly scared away!"

5. Today the company is unusually lively, it turned out to be a new intern, Sven wen and a little handsome. The female colleague at the front desk was interested in her, but she had a strong personality and could not erase her face, so she used her job every day to trouble him, fight with him, and think that she could become a rival to Joy like on TV. Sure enough, within a few days, the intern beat her up and resigned.

6. The wife drove the Tesla to refuel, and said domineeringly: "No. 95 gasoline, full!" After filling up, the little sister said: "Hello, a total of 406 yuan." Wife: "Can you take the pieces?" 400 pieces. I quickly covered my wife's mouth: "Don't be ashamed, this is not buying vegetables, can you still bargain?" The wife said with a straight face: "If you don't ask, how do you know that you can't?" I said angrily, "If the gas station can bargain, I'll run home today!" At this time, the little sister said: "Okay, just 400!" ”

7. On this day, my son's teacher suddenly called me. The teacher said: Your son is wetting his pants at school! Then, I quickly took a pair of pants to the kindergarten. The moment I entered the classroom, I was dazed, a bunch of small turnip heads wearing the same school uniform, who was my son? I looked at the children: this is not, that is not... Completely blindfolded, I couldn't help but shout: Son, come out! A pair of small hands next to me gently pulled the corner of my clothes: Mom, you don't know me anymore? I've been here for a long time!

8. The brother graduated from a well-known sports university, has a particularly good physical fitness, and has won awards in the University Games. He was giving pe-gym lessons to elementary school students that day and sneezed while he was tidying up the team. At this moment, he roared out of a sudden thought: Who is scolding me? As a result, a little friend was frightened, and came out trembling and said: Teacher, I'm sorry...

9. Last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, and my wife, who had just got my driver's license, actually drove my MaiTen back to her mother's house. I told my wife to pay attention to safety when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent telephone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbag, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

10. My husband has been working overtime regularly recently, and in order to treat my husband, I decided to make braised pork for my husband to eat at night. After the ingredients were prepared, I was ready to start cutting the meat, only to accidentally cut my fingers. At this time, the daughter who was watching TV came to the kitchen, looked at the blood stuck on the meat and the board, and the daughter said solemnly: Are you coloring the braised meat, or are you dripping blood to recognize your relatives?