When a pregnant woman had difficulty giving birth, the doctor opened the door and asked her husband, "Is it big or small?" The man bowed his head and pondered for a moment, and said "child" in his mouth The doctor immediately opened the door and went in, and the man reacted

When a pregnant woman had difficulty giving birth, the doctor opened the door and asked her husband, "Is it big or small?"

The man bowed his head and pondered for a moment, saying "child" in his mouth.

The doctor immediately opened the door and went in,

The man reacted and knocked the door, I haven't finished talking yet!

I want to say: Boy, Daddy can't stand you! You open the door."

2 At dinner at the buddies' house, his wife toasted to me and said, "In the new year, I wish you a blessing in the world of great difficulties and immortality." ”

I've been doing well, and I wanted to ask her why she didn't say that? Dude kept making eyes, and I couldn't help it.

She went on to say: "Last year you were really unlucky, one moment you lost your wallet, one moment you had a car accident, one moment you were caught, one moment you were rescued, my husband didn't run for you at night." ”

3 Dad saw that the old man who collected the waste was very pitiful, so he sold the waste carton at home, no, it was a gift, and incidentally gave the dumplings, meat, fruits, and even the little nephew's snacks to the family. Just now, my father sent me a message asking me to transfer some money to him, saying that my mother found out that the son of the uncle who collected waste products was opening a company, and felt that my father had been deceived, so he confiscated his pocket money. I hesitated for half a moment and replied: A colleague in the unit was seriously ill, and I donated all my salary for this month...

4 Lonely night, open the V letter and shake it, and you will not be alone in an instant. Shook a Sichuan girl, we went from white to black, chatted very well, and then we both fell in love online! Yesterday, I bought a plane ticket to look for her in Sichuan, and she had not yet left work, so I waited near her company. So I spent 599 and opened one of the best rooms! When I opened the door, I smelled a strong smell of smoke. I called the front desk and told her that the smell of smoke in the room was too heavy and asked someone to come and deal with it. The front desk said: "Okay sir, please wait, I will send someone to do smoke-free treatment for your room right away!" "I thought to myself, it is worthy of room 599, it is so advanced! Three minutes later, a janitor came in and helped me open all the doors and windows in the room!

5 Back to my mother's house, and my cousin and cousin drank confusedly, I couldn't drink them, borrowed urea to escape out of the orchard to scatter wine... Hearing the hissing, seeing my cousin crying under the chestnut tree, I asked him what was wrong, he said the remote control plane was stuck in the treetops, and I looked up confusedly and saw that it was still a little high. I patted my chest and comforted him: "Don't be afraid, aunt is here, you can rest assured, stay away, the plane will fall and hit you." "I took ten steps back, rushed forward to the tree, lifted a foot and kicked at the trunk! The remote control plane and the burr chestnuts of the tree fell like a rainstorm pear blossom needle, piercing me with thousands of holes and wailing...

6 After my wife was on a business trip, my sister-in-law asked me to go to her house at night and said that there were very important things to tell me.

With a nervous mood, when I arrived, I saw a golden retriever lying in the doorway.

The sister-in-law said: I am going to go on my honeymoon with the leader, and you will help me watch the golden retriever for a few days.

After a few days, the golden retriever gave birth to a litter of small golden retrievers, and I showed my sister-in-law like a treasure.

When my sister-in-law saw the photo, she gritted her teeth and said to me, "What did you do to my golden retriever?" ”

7 When I was in high school, I dropped out of school and returned to my hometown, went to the ground with my father, and when I grew up, I wanted to go to the city to find a decent job, but they all had academic requirements, I could only go back to my hometown again, I felt that the house in my hometown was a little too small, and I wanted to re-build it and build a two-story cottage. Asked the contractor, the contractor introduced, "How much do you want to build?"?" There are also two or three hundred thousand, seven or eight hundred thousand, the lowest one hundred thousand, no cap. I took out all my savings and said to the contractor, "Let's get two hundred thousand." On the day of acceptance, I found that this house really did not have a roof!!

8 On the second day of the wedding, the groom closed his mouth happily.

I secretly asked, "Is it the bride who is as beautiful as a heavenly immortal, and let your boy pick up the treasure?" ”

Groom Officer: "What, my wife's ex-boyfriends are too generous, let me make a lot of money." ”

I wondered, "What do you mean?" ”

Groom Official: "My wife's ex-boyfriends came to drink happy wine, one red packet per person, one red packet 3,000, a total of more than 100,000 yuan, more than the sum of all the relatives in my family's red packets."

I'm so happy, I'm a real ex-boyfriend. ”

Me: "Congratulations congratulations...".

9 When the sister-in-law was pregnant with a big belly, her fiancé ran away with another woman. She didn't want to be a single mom and married an honest man. After marriage, she gave birth to a little nephew, and in order to make money, the sister-in-law began to set up a stall to sell vegetables. That time, the sister-in-law went to the toilet and let her nephew, who had just entered elementary school, see the food stall. When I came back, I saw a customer shopping. Customer: "Your lord." Nephew: "No, I'll sell it too." Customer: "How much does a chicken cost?" Nephew: "27." The customer asked, "How much is two chickens?" The nephew was stunned for a moment, and he would not count it, so he said, "That one is not sold, but keeps it for himself." ” 

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