1, the new English teacher, young and beautiful, is to speak with a bit of nasal sounds, feel cute ... After today's class, she said, "Is there anything you don't understand?" You can ask me

1, the new English teacher, young and beautiful, is to speak with a bit of nasal sounds, feel cute ... After today's class, she said, "Is there anything you don't understand?" You can ask me! "Asked three times in a row... I finally couldn't resist standing up and walking to the podium... Kissed her gently...

2, my cousin called me, "The old man's family still has some dry land, you come to help cultivate it." "I won't plow the ground!" "Come, come, don't you." Oh, the rice! He quickly called his cousin, who lived nearby, and drove away excitedly. It is true that we do not need to plow the land, grandpa's cattle are sold, my cousin is in charge of the plow, my cousin and I are pulling a rope in front...

3, the female boss and her husband are divorced, all day in the company to find everyone's trouble, the whole company people are in a bad mood. One day, a new security guard was taught a lesson by her and was very depressed. Everyone rushed to comfort the newcomer and tell him to be careful in the future. He said innocently: Nothing, in fact, I also know that the boss is for my own good, she is a knife mouth tofu heart. An old employee patted him on the shoulder and said: Frozen tofu is also tofu.

4, there is a year the unit organized to go to Jiuzhaigou, in Chengdu with individual passengers group, after visiting the scenic spots to prepare to get on the car, the car drove out of the half-cut there is a handsome guy suddenly shouted "Bad! My wife didn't get in the car! The driver and tour guide quickly turned around and went back to find it, but fortunately his wife was waiting in the same place! Later I heard it was a honeymoon trip! It made us laugh all the way. Don't know if he's going home to washboard okay? You must buy a few more washboards when you go back!

5, "immortal goddess" Zhao Yazhi, wearing a tight skirt and her husband to enjoy the flowers, with the little 2-year-old girlfriend in the same frame like the next generation, 66-year-old Zhao Yazhi is also too beautiful, really not like the grandmother's generation of women, Zhao Yazhi wears beige short-sleeved dresses, elegant and generous, in the late autumn flowers, beautiful and gentle.

6. Chemistry teachers ask students in class to illustrate the concept of "saturation" with examples they have seen in real life. A classmate hurriedly raised his hand and said, "For example, when taking a bus, there are so many people that they can't even close the door." "No, that's not all," someone immediately stood up and said, "Only when a person is squeezed in the back door and the front door is immediately squeezed by a person, this is the real 'saturation,'" ”

7, the daughter-in-law's favorite is to buy some beautiful clothes, and then put the daughter to clean up very beautiful and take out shopping. Today she went out with her daughter again, and when an old lady who didn't know her saw her daughter, she repeatedly boasted: This girl is so beautiful, so cute. After praising her daughter, she looked at her wife twice, and then she said: This beautiful little girl looks like her father, right? When my wife came back to me, I was going to laugh to death.

8. Autumn today. It is also the first festival of autumn, the cool breeze has faith, a leaf knows autumn, the autumn sound is a little refreshing, the autumn mood is long, the autumn flowers are sweet as honey, the autumn moon is full of love, the autumn wind is happy and long, the autumn sun is warm, the autumn is coming, I wish the friends, life is happy, healthy and happy! !

9, today the weather is very good, pull the girlfriend to the park for a picnic. In a large area of flowers in the park, you can see several beautiful butterflies, shuttling through the delicate flowers. Seeing such a beautiful view, the girlfriend quickly picked up the mobile phone to take a picture. After taking several pictures, I reminded me: You see, this butterfly is so interesting, play with this one, and circle around the other. After I listened, I took off one of my high heels, 'snapped', hit the butterfly on the ground, and stepped on it. This sudden action made me very puzzled, and my girlfriend stared at me viciously and said: This is the end of the scumbag!

10, the wife is a cruel and willful person, today she is clamoring to buy a brand-name bag, I raised my hand is a slap to her and said: "Do you want it?" She looked at me and continued to cry, my heart was fierce, slapped ten times in a row and said, "Do you want to?" Finally she stopped crying. Watching the tigress being subdued by me, I touched her already reddened face and smiled

11, my girlfriend is an authentic foodie, but this does not affect me to hurt her. My relationship with my girlfriend has always been very good, and as a result, today she completely me off, and she didn't even let go of the little walnut bracelet I had worn for more than a year, and directly smashed it and ate it!

12, the eyes are a little astringent, rubbing for a while, the wife asked strangely: "What's wrong?" Husband?"" Nothing, just eyelids jumping!" I casually put on a mouthful. "Huh? Eyelid jumping?" The wife quickly asked, "They all say that the left eye jumps wealth and the right eye jumps, are you jumping with your left eye or your right eye?" I skimmed my lips and said, "I'm dancing with two eyes!" belch... This could mean that the accident insurance I bought for you is about to take effect...

13 Two tigers were a little hungry, and they discussed where to go to find food. The young tiger said, "Let's go to the nearby village and eat people, there are few people there." The elderly tiger shook his head and said, "No, although there are few people in the nearby villages, the people there are very united, and it is too risky to have difficulties on one side and support from all sides." To eat people we'd better go to town. The young tiger asked incomprehensibly, "How dangerous are there so many people in the city?" The older tiger said, "Although there are many people in the city, the neighbors do not know each other." We eat one person, no one will take care of it, and we jump off. ”

14, the company is recruiting, I was in the talent network to see the resume of people cast, in the photo of a named Li Rongrong, I called the past: "Hello, is it Grandma Rong?" Immediately, I reacted and hurriedly corrected: "I'm sorry, are you Grandma Li?" There was a moment of silence on the phone, and a calm sentence came: "I am Grandma Gui." Then I hung up the phone. Colleagues are laughing and about to ascend to heaven.