Divorced female colleagues had to marry me, I thought she had an 8-year-old daughter, so her daughter came to me and talked: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said, "You."

Divorced female colleagues had to marry me, I thought she had an 8-year-old daughter, so her daughter came to me and talked: "Uncle, my mother is very beautiful, this is the truth." "I said yes. She said, "You just think I'm a drag bottle?" "I said yes. She suddenly sneered: "Uncle, you are so stupid, I am a girl, not a son, what are you worried about?" Don't look at me small, they all say that I am a beautiful embryo, and after 10 years, I will be a beautiful woman, and when I get married, you will have to receive a bride price. "I said yes. She continued: "If you find a first-time marriage, get married and have children now, and raise a child to 8 years old, it will cost you 100,000 yuan, not including your 8 years of anger because of children." You see you, married my mother, have a child, have a wife, how happy! "Not to mention, when I heard her say this, I was moved. She's 8 now, her mom is 35 and I'm 19. 10 years later I'm 29, she's 18 years old, and we don't seem to have a big gap in age. If I take good care of it, we should not feel violated when we are together, right?

2. Delivering a courier in SF, arriving home at almost eight o'clock at night, I found that my girlfriend was still watching "Qing Yu Nian" without cooking at all. I was hungry, but I didn't want to go out of the kitchen by myself after a tiring day. So there was no way but to pretend to be Wei Xie's girlfriend and say, "If I don't cook anymore, I'll go out to eat!" My girlfriend listened for a moment, turned back to me and smiled, and said, "Wait a minute, 5 minutes is fine!" I kind of didn't understand: "What do you cook so fast?" The girlfriend said, "I'll go change my clothes and go with you!" ”

3. In the evening, Mo Nan nai chatted with a girl on the drift bottle. She said that she liked my uncle who was sullen on the outside. I was particularly excited, decisively opened, and fought in full swing for two hours. I started typing, and my sister asked: Don't you have a meme? I said, yeah, it's all gone. She replied: Then I went to steal someone else's, bye bye. Then, I was blocked by this girl.

4. Attending a tsinghua class reunion, the hotel cashier turned out to be my first love. Originally, I did not dare to say hello, but I was poured a lot of wine by my classmates, and when the classmates gathered, my roommate met his first love at the hotel. Drunk and bold, drunkenly asked the first love: I chased you for three years in high school, why don't you like me? The first love glared at me fiercely and said: Secretly let me ride a bicycle, hide rats in my desk, sprinkle water on my textbook after class, and put glue on my stool, you chased me for three years?

5. Rented a two-bedroom and one-room house in Guangzhou to work, and found that it was a female roommate. After living for a while, my roommate asked me: Why can't rabbits eat nest grass? I said casually: That's because the nest grass has been eaten. The female roommate asked me again: So, what if the nest grass is not eaten? I hesitated for a moment and then said: That is, the quality of the nest grass is not very good. Then she stopped talking to me, not knowing why.

6. My father came to see me two days ago and was ready to go back today, and I was afraid that he would be late and I was ready to drive him to the airport. Halfway through, I found that the car was running out of gas, and I reluctantly sent my father to the airport. After arriving at the airport, the car has begun to call the police, so I went to the airport living area to find a gas station, looking for half a day to see a Chinese aviation fuel, but I couldn't understand not to add to the car, and drove around several times. The staff who swept the floor couldn't stand it and asked: Is there anything wrong? Me: Does this fuel the car? He gave me a blank look and said: Can planes fly in in such a small place?

7. A roommate in high school had always had good grades at school and was later admitted to a medical university. We're in the same city, we don't have boyfriends, and we can hang out with two people on weekends. Later, I played everything I wanted to play, so I was worried about where to pass the time in the afternoon. She suddenly patted her thigh: "Why don't I take you to see the SHI body!" ”

8. After marriage, the sister-in-law looks at her brother as a variety of unpleasant. Say that he does not do housework and will not be considerate. This morning my brother got up early to prepare breakfast, brought the food to the window, and said that he would let his sister-in-law experience the feeling of being pampered. The sister-in-law was holding the head of the chicken coop, with eyes in the corner of her eyes, happily lying on the stool by the window and eating a large pot of noodles, and the brother secretly took several photos to send to the circle of friends. It was too late when I found out...

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #