1． There was a village chief in China who absconded to the United States and had nothing to do, so he opened a private clinic and put a sign at the door, saying that he would pay $500 if he was cured; if he could not be cured, he would return $2,000. There is one

1． There was a village chief in China who absconded to the United States and had nothing to do, so he opened a private clinic and put a sign at the door, saying that he would pay $500 if he was cured; if he could not be cured, he would return $2,000. An American doctor saw the sign and thought it was a good opportunity to make money, so he decided to go to the village chief's clinic. American: I lost my sense of taste, and there was no taste in my mouth when I ate. Village Chief: Nurse, take box 22 of the medicine and drop three drops into the patient's mouth. American: Depend, it's gasoline! Village Chief: Congratulations, the sense of taste has been restored, pay $500. The American doctor had to pay and left unhappily. He returned to the clinic a few days later, intending to get the lost money back. American: I lost my memory, I couldn't remember anything. Village Chief: Nurse, take box 22 of the medicine and drop three drops into the patient's mouth. American: Oh, isn't this the last time it treated the taste of gasoline!? Village Chief: Congratulations, your memory is restored, please pay $500. The Americans had to pay again and left in anger. I returned to the clinic a few days later. American: My eyesight is very poor. Village Chief: Sorry! I don't have any medicine to cure this disease, this is refund your $2000... American: But it's only $800! Village Chief: Congratulations, your eyesight has been restored, please pay me $500... The Americans were not reconciled, and after a few months they went to the clinic again, saying that the ears could not hear. The village chief muttered to the nurse: This is trying to fight with us to the end, it is better to add some consumable medicine to the No. 22 medicine and let him go! The Americans listened and ran. The village chief caught him and said: Your hearing has been restored... Before the village chief could finish speaking, the Americans threw down three hundred and never came back. The next year, the American sat in a wheelchair and let the assistant push and go to the clinic, thinking that this time no matter what you say, I will pretend to be crazy and stupid, see how you treat the disease? Who knows, the village chief was overjoyed to see the situation, and quickly called the American's wife: Honey, your husband is forced to do this, what are we still sneaking around? The Americans heard this and grabbed the phone to question their wives. Who knew that the phone was not connected at all. The Americans are really crazy after admitting to paying the medical fee... ”

2． I was temporarily arranged by the manager for a business trip, and I couldn't bear to go to the car first. On the high-speed train, I found my place and immediately ran to the toilet. At that time, I brushed the video inside, watched you crouch a little long, and heard the conductor outside the door talking: Sir, if there is someone inside, you can go to another carriage. The man said: I have been waiting for half an hour, and I want to see what big god has not come out for so long today. Look at my violent temper, I seem to have sat twice... I don't know if the people outside the door are gone.

3. After graduating with my master's degree, I stayed in Beijing to work. Today, my parents came to Beijing from Daliangshan to see me, and they saw that I lived in a 10-square-meter basement, which was very painful. The old mother cried: "The salary of the master's student is so low? Me: "The salary of master's students is not low, the monthly salary is 30,000 yuan." Dad asked, "Then why do you live here?" I said helplessly: "Many people with an annual salary of millions also live here!" ”

4. I am a high-achieving student who graduated from Tsinghua University and went to Foxconn for an interview this time. The examiner asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I said, "Yes." The examiner asked again, "Is she your first love?" I said, "Yes." Then, the examiner said leisurely: "I'm sorry we can't use you, because you lack the initiative to constantly pursue new things." ”

5. After graduating from college, I went to work in other places and never came home, but the Mid-Autumn Festival finally came home. When I got home, I saw my parents cooking in the kitchen, and my father was cutting all kinds of peppers in the kitchen. Mom asked, "What kind of chili do you say I belong to?" Dad: That must be a bell pepper, sweet to my heart! I leaned forward and asked, Dad, what kind of chili pepper am I? Dad: You're mustard, hot eye!

6. Today my son came home very happy and said to me: "Mom today the teacher taught us to write one, two, three, I wrote wrong at the same table, the teacher beat him to cry!" I thought haha who's this stupid son! If I had this stupid son I would have died. I used to watch TV experts say to use the "encouragement education model" for children, so I wanted to praise him: "Baby! What about you?"" Mom, I didn't cry, I'm old and strong!"

7. The mother-in-law usually manages the old man very strictly, and the pocket money every month is not more than 100, and the wife inherits the good genes of the mother-in-law, and I am also very strict. I managed to save 500 yuan of private money and was borrowed by the old man with two words. At that time, he said that it would be within half a month, and it had been three months, but he seemed to have forgotten about it. These five hundred yuan, but the private money I had saved so hard, I was very sad. Therefore, I sent a photo of Wu Bai every day and sent it to the family group of my daughter-in-law's mother.- A week later, the old man, who was the leader of the family group, kicked me out of the group chat on the grounds that I was a father and chased the stars. 

8. In order to let me realize his dream of being admitted to 985, my father cheekily asked relatives and friends to borrow 500,000 yuan to send me to an aristocratic high school. There is a bully in our class, and the first place in our class has always been monopolized by him. I liked him a lot and thought he was great. So I plucked up the courage to write him a long love letter, and a week passed without replying. One day, there were only two of us left in the classroom, and I asked him: Have you read my letter? Xueba's focused gaze slowly moved away from the mathematical formula, and said lightly: Your letter is so long, where do I have time to read it? Alas, a bully is a bully, and I really don't understand this world! #Funny GIF# #幽默搞笑段子 #