At the end of overtime, the female colleague invited me to go for a walk in the mountain forest, and specifically said that the forest was very dark and no one. I said okay. It was really dark in the woods, and I deliberately turned on the mobile phone lamp, and the female colleague said, "Brother."

At the end of overtime, the female colleague invited me to go for a walk in the mountain forest, and specifically said that the forest was very dark and no one. I said okay. It was really dark in the woods, and I deliberately turned on the mobile phone lamp, and the female colleague said: "Brother, you are stupid, such a good environment do you turn on the lights?" "I hurried to turn off the lights. She said, "Brother, I'm afraid of the dark, you hold my hand!" "I said don't bother so much, I turned on the phone light. Then I turned on the phone light again, and the female colleague said I was stupid. I closed it again, and then she said again; "Brother, I'm afraid of the dark, hold me!" "I said don't bother so much, let's go home!" The female colleague was stunned and stood still, and I could faintly tell that she seemed to be staring at me. I went over and said, "Are you glaring at me? Believe it or not I'm picking you up! The female colleague said: "You don't clean up after you, you are not a man today!" "Not to mention, the female colleague said this, and scared me, taking a few steps back and running. Such a dark place, what if she hits me? As soon as I ran out of the woods, I realized that my female colleague was gone. The next day, I heard that a woman had an accident in the woods, and I was so frightened that I didn't dare to go to the company, and then I simply resigned. A few days later, a female colleague called me: "Brother, why did you quit?" I was stunned and said, "That night's events have nothing to do with me, I'm just going home!" The female colleague said, "Brother, what do you say?" The boss asked me to call you back, and the company has a lot of things waiting for you? I asked her, "Are you okay?" The female colleague said, "What can I do?" I weakly asked, "Is your boss the one underground?" What position did I go to, and could I be a judge? "Now, if I don't go, I can only bargain and ask for a good position!"

2. When I was studying at Tsinghua University, the iron brothers went to their mother-in-law's house once, and suddenly felt that there were people around them in the middle of the night, opened their eyes and saw that the three parents were all around themselves, and the iron brothers were scared silly at that time! The would-be man said leisurely: "It's all right, it's all right, child, as soon as you listen to your snoring sound, you know that there is nothing wrong with your health!" My daughter grew up listening to my purring and sleeping, and our old couple was really afraid that he couldn't sleep without this sound. Later, when it came to the logical marriage, the iron brothers hissed: "This is also an advantage?? I'm done!! ”

3. My wife's driver's license has passed the exam and she has to practice her hands. Then, the task of picking up his son from school was naturally handed over to his wife! At noon, the wife called at the hospital: my son had a concussion and did not know what caused it! Hurry to the hospital, it's okay not serious! When I went back, I drove, and the moment I released the handbrake, my wife opened her eyes and said: I said how do I feel that driving for so many days is one step less, it turns out that I have not let go of the handbrake!

4. At my girlfriend's wedding, my girlfriend said to me, "Honey, my girlfriend will go to the beach tomorrow for her honeymoon, and you will accompany me!" I pulled on my tie irritably and said, "No, I'm going to work tomorrow." Girlfriend: "Then you take a leave of absence!" Reluctantly, I said, "Please don't." Girlfriend: "Then you say your uncle is dead!" I said annoyedly, "My uncle has died twice in order to accompany you, and as such, we have both negotiated, and my relatives have died..."

5. In the evening, the husband returns home with a happy face, still holding something in his hand. Seeing his wife come out of the bedroom, the husband smiled and said, "Honey, I have bought you all the cosmetics you want, so you should buy something for me!" The wife listened to the thing in her hand as she ran over and took a look at it and smiled. Wrapping her husband in it, he kissed it, smiled and said, "Of course, the big bag of washing powder in the bathroom was bought for you!" ”

6. When I was studying at medical university, I chose computers for my second major. That time I went to the cafeteria to eat, and after eating, I went to the dormitory alone. A girl stopped me and asked, "Are you studying computers?" I nodded, and she asked, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I said excitedly, "No, is your computer broken?" I saw her say to the girl next to her, "Look, I know that the person carrying this backpack is an otaku who is learning computers." ”

7. A few people play mahjong together and talk about those dating sites. A buddy said with great contempt: The current girl, who dates strangers at every turn, does not love herself at all. Like what dating software, shake it! My cousin listened and said, "Even, I'm annoyed by this phenomenon." The buddy listened to the doubtful question and asked: What are you annoyed about? Cousin: I've been shaking for so long, not a single one of mine!

8. Playing with his buddies at night, he bought two big lots and actually won 520 yuan! I coaxed my buddies to invite me to dinner, and my buddies took me to a restaurant to eat, and after the dishes came up, my buddies and I tasted it and found it particularly unpalatable. The buddy called out to the girl who served the dish and said: Your dish is too difficult to eat, I want to see your boss." The girl said apologetically: I'm sorry, the boss went out to eat.

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #