1, when the girlfriend asks you "Di Li Reba is good-looking, or am I good-looking?" "Needless to say, this issue is definitely a trap if not handled properly, you will face the danger of being broken up at this time you must not be late

1, when the girlfriend asks you "Di Li Reba is good-looking, or am I good-looking?" "Needless to say, this problem is definitely a trap If not handled properly, you will face the crisis of being broken up At this time, you must not hesitate, you must decisively turn passive into active, and propose to her to break up so that she does not have the heart to discuss the question of who is good-looking."

2, in order to show their strength, the rich spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to buy a parrot that can only talk. But then I found out that this parrot actually likes to talk dirty, and it doesn't stop talking! In order to educate it, the rich decided to punish it. I put it in the refrigerator. After an hour the parrot froze and cried, and the owner thought it was wrong and let it out. Just listen to the parrot say: Scold two people and shut me up for so long! What did that chicken do wrong?

3, girlfriend just graduated from Tsinghua University to work in a listed company, a handsome man from the company came to ask the girlfriend: Girl, are you single? The girlfriend replied shyly: Yes! The handsome man then said: So ugly, must be single! Angry girlfriend, since then the girlfriend has chased the handsome man and not let go, and then the handsome man has become a girlfriend and a husband. Sitting on the sofa watching the handsome man do laundry, cook, mop the floor, the girlfriend said: I want to tell him a word, that is, 'a gentleman takes revenge, ten years is not too late'!

4, cold winter, a man carrying a sweatshirt in his hand, bare upper body trembling walking on the street... The policeman stepped forward and asked, "Why don't you put your sweatshirt on!" Man: [I wear suit pants, I must wear a suit jacket, how can I wear a sweatshirt casually!] Policeman: "You don't have a suit now, you'll wear a sweatshirt first when it's cold." Man: "How can this be!" There was no suit, I'd rather not wear it. 】

5. Today, I accompanied my daughter-in-law back to my mother-in-law's house, and my mother-in-law saw me and was unhappy. The mother-in-law said: Son-in-law, I will punch you and give you ten yuan to ensure that I will not punch you in the face! I thought to myself, the mother-in-law's strength, designated not to hurt, the result is that I did not agree, the mother-in-law thunderbolt dozens of punches down, the pain is going to die. After that, the mother-in-law took out a mobile phone and sent the recorded video to the circle of friends: the son-in-law did not obey, it should be beaten like this!

6, the boss said that he and the secretary are going to go on a date together, let me leave work early and not be a light bulb. I made my meal early at the end of the day. After the wife came back and finished eating, she wiped her mouth: When my career is successful, I will not let you go to work, and you will cook a meal every day. I couldn't help but be happy, thinking about sleeping until I woke up naturally every day, not having to squeeze the bus, playing games at home, and making a meal at the point... The more I thought about it, the happier I became, and I unconsciously finished washing dishes and washing clothes.

7, the wife made the egg pie, golden crisp, very delicious, I ate five in one breath, was planning to eat the sixth time, suddenly felt stomach pain, stomach turned the river upside down, thought, finished, must have eaten more pie, stomach disease attack, "vomit" "vomit" can not control, a just ate five big cakes together with bitter water spit on the ground. The second wife rushed to hear the sound and looked at my painful expression, and the wife said painfully: Oh, you have wasted all the egg cakes I made hard!

8, the other name of introversion is sullen, the other name of sullen is implicit, the other name of implicit is low-key, the other name of low-key is called introverted, the other name of introvert is called calm, and the other name of calm is called B.

9, the fat man Xiao Chen entered the office door, with a smell of pancakes. I asked him, "What do you eat in the morning?" Fat Xiao Chen smiled and said, "Just a pancake." I said, "If you were like this all the time, you would definitely lose weight." Xiao Du, who came in with the fat man Xiao Chen, shouted: "Sister Wang, his pancakes are three eggs and two thin and crispy, and even the green onions are doubled." My pancakes were stacked on a thin blanket, and his pancakes were stacked like a thickened duvet. ”

10, in the evening, my father told me something, one winter, several families in the village were poisoned by burning coal, and the whole family could not get up in the house! It's okay with our family! I laughed and praised my dad: You are so careful, you will be fine! Just when my father opened his eyes and smiled, my mother continued: What a careful, our family was poor at that time, all four walls were ventilated, the windows were built with bricks, and it was strange that they could be poisoned!

11, I dare not comment randomly, afraid that someone will use the Green Dragon Crescent Knife to teach me to comb the middle points, use the Fang Tian painting halberd to cut apples for me, use the Chuanguo Jade Seal to smash walnuts for me to eat, climb the high-pressure line to play the East Wind Break for me, use the Dinghai God needle to knit me a sweater, and then call me Xiu'er

12, a couple just finished arguing, the wife is still indignant about this! Suddenly, the wife turned to her young son and asked, "If Mom and Dad quarrel, which side are you going to stand on?" The child thought for a moment and said firmly, "Stand next to it!" ”

13, a couple married for ten years without having children, so go to the hospital to see a doctor, after various examinations... Husband and wife: "Doctor, what is the result?" Doctor: "Let's talk about the man first, sperm is active, it must be no problem" Husband: "What about my wife?" Doctor: "This... This..." Husband: "What is this, doctor, quickly say the result of my wife" Doctor: "Your wife... More active than yours

14, some pressure always has to be carried by themselves, and saying it becomes a complaint full of negative energy. Seeking comfort is also useless, and it only adds to the troubles of others. And when you walk through the difficulties and obstacles alone, you will be grateful to yourself for not gritting your teeth and insisting on it.