I never wanted to be single, but I had a premonition that I would marry later. Isn't that contradictory? In fact, this is the real feeling of most young people at the moment, obviously know that single is not good, want to have a stable home, but it is difficult to find the right person, always feel that they have to marry later.
I remember that in middle school, there would be a graduation handbook written, each preparing a beautiful book, and then asking the students in the class to write good wishes and other words on it. I vaguely remember that the ideal age to marry is 27 to 28 years old. Today, I have passed this age, but I am still alone and have not been able to start a family.
At my age, I am already married late. Seeing the young people around you, younger than yourself, already married and having children, there will be anxiety and anxiety in your heart, and you will feel that you have slowed down several times.
Although I never advocate generalization, I do not take the initiative in dealing with feelings, and I am more casual with fate and Buddhism, so that I am still sinking and floating in the sea of people. I once talked to a few friends who shared the same disease and asked them, "If you must marry late, how late can you accept it?" ”。
The atmosphere, which had been relaxed and pleasant, suddenly became serious. Some people say that it should be about 40 years old, when there is no pressure on the mortgage, you can enjoy love with peace of mind. It is also said that you cannot be more than 35 years old at the latest, because after this year, there will be a fertility crisis.
In the end, there was no conclusion, and with this confusion, I interviewed people of different ages, although their experiences were very different, but the answers were very true.
1. Xu, 28 years old, freelancer
Because I am a freelancer, I don't have much access to, plus I am dull by nature, do not like to be lively, and like to be alone, so that I have been single until now.
Although in my heart, I especially long for love and yearn for the castle of marriage, I have a premonition that I will marry later. On the one hand, I have not yet reached the height of my own preset, the house for marriage is still in the preparatory stage, on the other hand, I have not yet talked about love, before getting married, how to talk about love, otherwise how to know whether it is suitable or not.
The latest I can accept to marry later is at 33. Because you are married, you can't be so lucky to have children, how can it take a year or two, if you have a child at the age of 35, by the time the child graduates from college, I will be 58 years old, close to retirement age.
I don't want my child to be born too late. Because I want to grow up with him and watch him mature slowly. I don't want to grow old too quickly, and when my child needs you the most, there is nothing I can do to help.
Although I am single now, but I am planning for the future, there is a lover who is willing to walk with me for a lifetime, I hope this person can appear soon, don't let me wait too long.
Of course, today, I am still not in a hurry to get married, although for the world, it is already the age of late marriage, but I am still willing to wait until the right person appears at the right time.
2. Ms. Huang, aged 33, is the financial supervisor
I am a person who is particularly critical of love, and I am also a person who cannot tolerate sand in my eyes. I once talked about a relationship for 3 years, and I talked about it for the purpose of getting married. I thought it would end happily, but I broke my boyfriend's ugly affair.
Although he cried bitterly and pleaded, saying that he was drinking and misbehaving, he wanted me to forgive him, give him a chance, and give our love a chance. To tell the truth, at that time, I was particularly entangled, but after some thought, I still chose to endure the pain of cutting love.
Now he has married and had children, and I have become an elderly leftover woman in the eyes of the world. To say that there is no hurry, it is self-deception, but I am not willing to settle, casually find someone to marry, wait until the marriage finds inappropriate, and then divorce, then the price is too high.
Instead of that, it's better to maintain the status quo and stay single, even if you marry later, than divorce. The latest I can accept is before the age of 40, and then I don't have the confidence to start a relationship.
On the one hand, it is physical reasons, because girls are not like boys, how old can give birth, she also undertakes the part of pregnancy, which requires a good body to support. To this end, I have always insisted on exercising and never slackened.
I also don't like to be angry, after all, anger has many side effects, especially for girls. Of course, I am not even desperate to get married and have children, because I have not yet come out of the previous love wound.
However, I think it is just that the time has not yet come, if the marriage comes, it will naturally happen skillfully. I would also hope to meet the right person at the right time and then work together to be happy for a lifetime.
2. Mr. Zhang, aged 35, project manager
When I was young, I kept going from place to place, and I never thought about settling down. However, the idea of starting a family recently is relatively strong, especially near the New Year, and it is very embarrassing to go back alone.
I came from the countryside, and I was also the first college student in the village, at that time, it was a beautiful scenery, I thought that the future would be as I wished, but reality gave me a head start. In terms of finding a job, it was not smooth, and there were many places tossed back and forth.
Looking back now, I blame myself for being too young to hold my breath. In addition to suffering from life over the years, I have also suffered a lot of emotional suffering. At an energetic age, there is no love, and the bitterness during the period is only clear to yourself.
However, they have all come, and the emotional mentality in these years has also changed slightly. No longer pursue the so-called true love, as long as the overall pass is enough, there is no need to pay attention to perfection.
Now that I am married late, how late can I accept it? As long as my lover, don't be the same age as me, younger than me, the difference is not too big, within 8 years old, that way, I can accept 48 years old at the latest.
Maybe someone will say I'm crazy, 48-year-old man, will anyone else want it? My lover, who is 8 years younger than me, is also 40 years old. For most people, it is more difficult to accept.
I think that age is just a number, and many people are psychologically younger, much younger than physical age. In other words, maturity is not directly related to age.
As long as the feelings are right, I'm willing to be a little later, and it doesn't matter.
Listening to different age groups, and expressing their views on the age of late marriage, the feeling is still relatively real. Many people will feel that it is necessary to get married early, to take advantage of youth, to complete the things that should be done first, and then to enjoy life again.
However, for those who have pursuits and ideas, they will not do this, they prefer to have the right feelings later, rather than casually settle down, and then toss and turn, making them scarred.
I dare not say that who is good and who is bad is just a personal choice. As long as you recognize and accept it in your heart, it is enough, as for what it looks like in the eyes of outsiders, there is no need to worry about it.
If you are in such a confusion at this moment, you are already facing the embarrassment of late marriage, but you don't know what to do, you may wish to ask your heart what kind of life you want to live.
If you want worldly fulfillment, then try to find, the person who is willing to walk hand in hand with you, if you are willing to wait, not willing to compromise and settle down, then calm your mind and meet your late marriage.
You have to understand that good things are often the finale. The same is true for the feelings of the right. Please calm down and wait, maybe there will be unexpected surprises.