In our traditional concept, since ancient mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies, why can't mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in peace, respect and love each other? The most crucial point is that they all love a man who has not fulfilled his responsibilities.
We all know that the man is the heavens, the pillar of the family, and he is the woman's dependence. And one of the criteria for measuring whether a man is really temperamental, a good man, and a pure grandfather is: bow his head and show gentleness, and face the rivers and lakes with his head held high! If a man were allowed to deal with family conflicts and mother-in-law relationships, how would they solve them?
First, the daughter-in-law scratches the mother-in-law's face, and each insists on not giving in to each other?
Ms. Li from Ye County, Pingdingshan City, cried bitterly when asking for help, which made people very confused, and when Ms. Li lifted her hat, it surprised people, only to see that Ms. Li's entire face was scratched, and it was covered with blood marks, and the appearance was unbearable.
It has been said that stupid people often show brazen violence. Ms. Li said that this was all done by her daughter-in-law Yang Hongxia, who grabbed her face and neck like crazy, not caring that she was an elder, and she cried and said, "I am usually so good to her, she actually treats me like this." The harm her daughter-in-law had caused her had left her faceless, which made her very devastated.
Loving beauty is human nature, Ms. Li took out her mobile phone to let the mediator see her beautiful appearance before, only to see ms. Li in the photo with white skin and beauty, full of spirit, and then look at the scratches on her face and the sad and helpless look now, it is really a world of difference.
And her son Zhang Xiaoyang said that when his daughter-in-law and his mother fought that day, he did not know, when he heard the movement, he got up and went out to see, they had finished fighting, saw his mother's injured face and said he wanted to call the police, but the daughter-in-law got up and left.
In another apartment in the city, I saw Zhang Xiaoyang's wife, Yang Hongxia, and to her surprise, her face was also injured. When asked what was wrong with her, she bluntly said that she had a fight with her mother-in-law.
Mencius once said: "Small is not stronger than big, less is not more, weak is not stronger." If there is a war between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, it is really not a small thing, see the faces of the two, you will understand the narrow road to meet the truth of the brave victory, this daughter-in-law is really not simple!
Yang Hongxia said that that night she and her husband had a conflict and moved their hands, and her husband wanted to sue and divorce her, and Yang Hongxia did not want to leave because she had children. The next day she went over to her mother-in-law and told her that she wanted her mother-in-law to stop Zhang Xiaoyang from suing for divorce, because the mother-in-law was in charge of the family. She told her mother-in-law that no matter how you get it, she must have this child. But the mother-in-law moved with her.
Mother-in-law Ms. Li hurriedly explained that when she was lying on the bed, the daughter-in-law walked towards her, walked and talked and went to beat her, she could not get up in bed, at that time she did not even wear clothes, the daughter-in-law dug and scratched at her, she pushed the daughter-in-law to the side, and then the daughter-in-law made a urinal and poured it on her head. As soon as she saw her daughter-in-law doing this to herself, Ms. Li reached out and grabbed her daughter-in-law.
Listening to her mother-in-law's crying, Yang Hongxia did not approve, she rushed to say that her mother-in-law first took the urinal to pour her, and also slapped her face. Because this family is the mother-in-law's home, it is the mother-in-law who scolds her first and returns a sentence, and the mother-in-law comes to her and does it. But the mother-in-law said that she was so old that she would not talk nonsense. The two men disagreed and quarreled. In the end, who moved the hand first, the mother-in-law said the mother-in-law's reasoning, the daughter-in-law said that the daughter-in-law had to be reasonable, and both people were full of grievances.
Seeing the quarrel between the two reminds me of the classic line in "The War of Two Women": What I want to fight for is just a little happiness.
As the saying goes, the mother-in-law has virtue and the daughter-in-law is virtuous. Seeing their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fight so hard, hurting each other, they are still shirking their responsibilities, not to mention happiness. Mother-in-law does not have the appearance of elders, daughter-in-law does not have the appearance of juniors, no wonder they do not see people.
What makes people wonder is that the little couple can't get by, it is the two of them who should negotiate and solve the problem, why did Yang Hongxia go to her mother-in-law to fight for the child, and finally entangled with her?
Second, my mother-in-law is too homely, communication does not achieve "mutual pinching"
Yang Hongxia cried and said, "I am angry to death, I love to be angry, the Chinese medicine doctors have said, you will be angry again, you will die."
The mother-in-law said angrily, "I also cry, I am also in a bad mood, I give her a mature life every day, even her medical treatment is the money I spent, she actually did this to me, do I lose money?" ”
A person who loves to be angry and has a fear for his life, and a person who is good to his daughter-in-law and spends money but does not get her thanks, feels too bad. It seems that the dispute between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often regarded as an inevitable war between two women, whether from economic interests or from emotional, ethical, psychological and other conflicts, these contradictions are almost manifested between many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
What is strange is that when the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were fiercely arguing and accusing each other, Ms. Li's son, Zhang Xiaoyang, just sat with his head bowed and silent. It could be seen that he and his mother were in the same faction, sitting far away from his daughter-in-law.
Ms. Li said that similar to the last fight is not the first time. Just in August of this year, the daughter-in-law beat her up. That day, the child slept there at noon, Ms. Li went to bring some fruit to her uncle, and stood outside the door for less than five minutes, just when the daughter-in-law called, the child woke up and picked up the phone and cried there, and the daughter-in-law came back and threw a tantrum at her.
However, what she did not expect was that the day after the incident, the granddaughter played with the mobile phone and was discovered by the daughter-in-law. This time, the daughter-in-law was completely enraged and beat her up. Ms. Li took out the video, which made people very speechless. Only to see Yang Hongxia running over to ride on the mother-in-law in the video, pinching the mother-in-law's neck, next to the helpless cry of the child.
Yang Hongxia said that she and her mother-in-law had quarreled many times because of the child's mobile phone, and the last time she completely broke out, that day she dropped her mother-in-law's mobile phone, held the child and left. For the video of the beating, Yang Hongxia said that it was because her father had just died, she was sad, coupled with her mother's cancer, it made her irritable and very distressed, and it just so happened that her mother-in-law's way of taking the baby bothered her. The mother-in-law listened to her say this: You know that it hurts your mother, why don't you know that it hurts me?
When people are in a bad mood, the mother-in-law knows that the daughter-in-law's family has encountered changes, she should understand the daughter-in-law's mood, take the granddaughter, help the daughter-in-law to solve the worries of the back, this is the common sentiment of people, but she takes the baby and does not worry about it. And the daughter-in-law also has her own problems, no matter how bad the mood is, but can not use this extreme way to solve the problem, too hurt feelings.
People's appearance can sometimes really blind people's eyes, Yang Hongxia looks beautiful and quiet, but her style of behavior is so hot, fierce, and barbaric, look at the memorial she left on her mother-in-law's face and the video of beating her mother-in-law, I really can't believe that it is she who did it, and her behavior has touched the bottom line of the law.
Yang Hongxia said that she and her husband have been married for five years, and it is reasonable to say that the two people have run into each other almost, but the relationship between her and her husband has always been tense, and her husband has insulted her lightly and beaten her heavily, which has become a common thing.
And she and her husband usually get along, because a word will fight. As long as she said a bad word from her mother-in-law, the two would fight. But her husband said she was unreasonable. In Yang Hongxia's view, the husband is too good at doing things, and sometimes when something happens between the two, the husband will add fuel to the old man.
In their marital contradictions, in fact, Yang Hongxia also has deficiencies, just to say that the housework is this piece, the clothes are dirty and not washed, these things you really do not handle properly, want to solve the problem, you should think about how to communicate? First, you can do it yourself; second, you can direct your husband to do it; third, you can tell your mother-in-law directly, because the work has been a little busy recently, I can't do this job, you help us do something, don't be arrogant, don't bring emotions, you should talk openly and honestly.
After persuasion, both sides realized their mistakes, and Yang Hongxia also understood that her behavior was too excessive, and took the initiative to apologize to her mother-in-law. Hearing the daughter-in-law's words, Ms. Li behaved very generously: "You are a child, I am an elder, as long as you do nothing to me, I will not say anything about you, I can still forgive you." The son saw that his daughter-in-law and mother understood each other, and he also took the hands of the two and said that the family would live a good life in the future.
Sentiment Analysis:
Someone once said that a woman will affect three generations, which at first glance seems a bit exaggerated, but when you think about it, it is also true. A good wife is the support point of the family, a good mother is the navigation of the child's growth, and a good daughter-in-law is one of the important factors in the stable, lasting and harmonious relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
1, the mother-in-law is too strong, should learn to withdraw decently
As the saying goes, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and they should not worry about their children and grandchildren. In their family, the most critical thing is that the mother-in-law has the biggest problem. It is said that there is a good mother-in-law before there is a good daughter-in-law, as a mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law fights hard, constantly participating in the life of their little couple, losing the majesty and respect of an elder.
From all the dialogues, it can be seen that Ms. Li does have a strong personality, and is more partial to her son, in a family, as an elder, more experienced, can do some escort things for her children, no matter how the two of them are, that is their day, the old man can only make suggestions and participate less.
It cannot be denied that Ms. Li is a good mother, she takes her granddaughter at home, cooks for her daughter-in-law and gives her money to see a doctor, and she is also very protective of her son, but why do she still let herself be scarred? It is that when there is a problem in the family, the son cannot handle it, and she becomes a spokesperson. We all say that parents are the strong backing of their children, but they cannot interfere too much, and if you do too much, it will make their children unenterprising. Therefore, after the children become a family, parents should learn to withdraw with dignity, as long as they boldly let them learn to be independent, they have the ability to solve family problems.
2, men are the key figures in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
In the whole family relationship, the man is the key, and some like to pass on the two ends, and the contradiction intensifies as a result. Some like to pretend not to hear at both ends and choose to escape.
The essence of the mother-in-law relationship is that two women compete for the love of a man, so in order to have a harmonious mother-in-law relationship, the decision is on the man, if the man learns to handle the family relationship skillfully and take the initiative to assume the responsibility of reconciliation, it will be home and everything.
In their family, some of the sons are too dependent on their mothers, lack of initiative in dealing with people, and the mother and wife have many fights, and he has not dealt with them well, only saying that she is too unreasonable. In the end, how unreasonable, he did not have substantive advice.
And the mother was seriously injured, when he wanted to call the police, his wife got up and left, so the mother could only have grievances in his stomach, two women he could not protect, and no one dared to offend, this is his most immature and cowardly place, feel that he is particularly nested as a man.
3. How to be a good daughter-in-law?
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually very simple, as the saying goes, my heart changes your heart. As long as the two sides seek truth from facts, do things objectively, be rational, and handle problems in line with people's psychological characteristics and human needs, they can do a good job. And the most appropriate relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is both close and distant, and there is a gap between relatives and estrangement.
To know that a good mother-in-law relies on coaxing, generally the current mother-in-law is willing to take grandchildren at home, as a daughter-in-law This is a blessing, there is a mother-in-law for you to share the family pressure, you have to learn to have wisdom, and learning to praise the mother-in-law is the preferred, eat the mother-in-law to make the meal remember to say a sentence "The food you make is really delicious", see the mother-in-law to bring you to do housework, you say a sentence "Mom, you are hard", the effect is definitely different.
As a daughter-in-law, we must learn to think differently, we may often have disputes with our mother-in-law now, and when we are thirty or forty years from now, we will also become someone else's mother-in-law, and you will be able to appreciate what your mother-in-law thinks of you now. People get along with each other, that is, you respect me a foot, I respect you a foot, as a junior, we must first respect the elderly, in order to get the care and love of the in-laws, both sides understand each other, mutual tolerance is a way to maintain the feelings of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.