01
What is it like to marry a selfish man?
A few days ago, a friend came to complain to me about her husband, all day long delicious and lazy, not to say, to everyone is calculated, to parents are very cold, do not care about others to pay him, but in his eyes others are wrong.
This is not the first time that a friend has come to me to complain about her husband, every time it is almost the same set of words, you can see that she has been tortured by her husband and is about to collapse, but she is still the same as usual, after spitting out and going to buy vegetables, going home to cook.
There are many people like my friend around us, who are extremely dissatisfied with the selfishness of their husbands, helpless, and there is no big contradiction, but such a day is like a needle felt.
Many people will also be like my friends, find someone to talk to, let themselves be happy for a while, but in the end still can not solve any problems.
Their husbands, on the other hand, enjoy the comfortable life of wearing clothes to reach out and open their mouths, and do not want to change at all.
02
Xiao Wu is the selfish husband in the eyes of his wife.
In the eyes of friends, Xiao Wu is shrewd and capable, that is, he has cut a little, especially loves to take advantage of small profits, and anyone has only interests, there is no human feeling, so when Xiao Wu got married, the friends and colleagues around him are very different, in the end who can look at people like him.
Although Xiao Wu is selfish, but chasing girls is a good hand, sweet words do not carry heavy samples, and Xiao Wu does have a good job, the person is also quite handsome, so even coaxed and deceived, and now married his wife.
But this just got married, Xiao Wu revealed his true face, not to mention that the marriage room that promised his wife before marriage only wrote his own name, and even his mother's ancestral bracelet to his wife was also taken for himself, saying that it sounded good, and he kept it for her, but in fact, he was unwilling to give it to his wife.
Originally, because of these things, his wife was already very unhappy, but Xiao Wu was not satisfied, and proposed the AA system with his wife.
After all, the wife's work is not very good, the money earned can be much less than him, if you do not implement the AA system, then you are not a big loss, it has always been Xiao Wu who takes advantage of others, how can you let others take advantage of yourself.
It is conceivable that the wife must have disagreed, and had a quarrel with Xiao Wuda for this reason. In Xiao Wu's eyes, this woman really can't get used to it, and since the consultation can't be done, it will be directly implemented, and it will save time.
Involving his own interests, Xiao Wu naturally immediately put into action, just happened to be his wife's birthday, on the same day Xiao Wu took his wife to eat a big meal, and also bought the dress that his wife liked as a gift.
The wife also thought that Xiao Wu apologized to her for her birthday because of the quarrel a few days ago, who knew that when the bill was checked out, Xiao Wu let his wife pay money.
Don't talk about the wife, even the waiter on the side is dumbfounded, so romantic, is to give themselves a birthday.
Xiao Wu saw that his wife did not have to pay for the action, but also particularly intimate and patient explanation: "You see, you like the skirt, I bought it for you, this skirt 218 yuan you also know, I ordered these meals Ah is just 430, according to the two of us half of the money, just to reach the money of this skirt, so this meal money you have nothing wrong with it, I lost the 3 yuan, I will not bother with you." ”
This meal also opened his wife's eyes, Xiao Wu is not ashamed of her, she is also ashamed of it, hurriedly paid the bill and left the hotel, this shop, will not come back in the future.
Originally, the wife thought that such a thing would happen once, even if it was, who knew that Xiao Wu had intensified his efforts, and no matter what could be done, he could pull on the AA system.
Going out to eat needless to say, inviting friends to eat, are Xiao Wu friends Xiao Wu please, the wife's friends spend money on the wife.
The wife is angry, simply do not cook, to AA system is it, the money to buy vegetables is also AA. But Xiao Wu did not eat this set at all, and his wife did not cook, he ordered takeaway, only his own portion.
If it is just some small daily things, it is enough, at most it is angry, the heart is not happy, but what happened later, let the wife realize that Xiao Wu is selfish, and he only has money in his eyes.
That time was when his wife was sick, acute appendicitis, and needed emergency surgery, but Xiao Wu said not to pay anything. The wife was sent to the hospital by ambulance, the mobile phone wallet was not brought, just let Xiao Wu pay for it, he did not agree, saying that AA is AA, and he should pay for it when he is sick.
In the end, it was the wife's girlfriend who came to help pay for it and had the operation. That day Xiao Wu was scolded very badly by his wife's girlfriend, but he didn't feel that he was at fault, it was an appendicitis, his wife could obviously go home and take the money and come over, it was really not okay to beg him to let him go home and help her take a trip, as for the trouble, is it going to die?
After being discharged from the hospital, his wife's attitude towards Xiao Wu completely changed, as long as both people were at home, his wife locked the bedroom door back, and Ren Xiao Wu was indifferent to how to call the door.
This state lasted for more than a week, and Xiao Wuxian couldn't help it, but no matter how he asked for peace, his wife just ignored him.
There was no way he had to ask his good buddies for help: "What to do, when you enter the bedroom, lock the door, and if you continue like this, how can you have children?" ”
"You can't control people, it's just that you've gone too far, you have to be unrepentant, and this matter is not over." The buddies spoke with a long heart, and they didn't know how much Xiao Wu listened to.
In fact, Xiao Wu himself has been thinking for a long time, and he feels that he has indeed done too much, how to say that he is also his wife, not more than outsiders, can not be too harsh.
That night Xiao Wu said a lot of wrong things at his wife's door, and finally his wife finally opened the door, and she didn't expect to hand him a divorce agreement: "I originally just wanted to hang you for a few days, but these days I found that it is very good to be single, divorce, people like you are not worthy of marriage." ”
03
We always think that if we get it, we will not lose it again, so we act arbitrarily and do not know how to cherish it, until one day you find that you have held it in your hand, and you don't know on what day it has disappeared.
First: Once the heart is cold between husband and wife, it is difficult to be burned again.
We always think that having love in our hearts can be exchanged for infinite tolerance and forgiveness, and the filter of feelings always makes us feel that the person in our hearts is the best person.
But filters are just filters, not real beings, and if the person you love hurts you too much, even the thickest filter will shatter into slag.
I believe that many people get married, or run to each other, or hope to support each other to fight against the ups and downs in the future, rather than finding someone to add to the blockage in the second half of their lives.
But sometimes it is clear that it is good before marriage, why do there be various problems as soon as you get married?
This can only be blamed on not seeing through that person before marriage, and after marriage, the greater the hope and the greater the disappointment.
Just like The wife of Xiao Wu above, how many sweet words she believed before marriage, how many tears had to be shed after marriage, in the eyes of his wife, everything before marriage became a deception after marriage, and he was deceived so miserably, but he still had to live with this person for a lifetime.
Originally hurt her heart, as a result, Xiao Wu did not even have the least care for her, illness is the most vulnerable time for people, not only can not get care, even as a husband, is not as good as a friend to her. This also made Xiao Wu's wife completely chill.
If you were Xiao Wu's wife, would you choose to forgive him?
It is easy to hurt people, but it is as difficult to repair the relationship as ascending to heaven, especially between husband and wife, and the deep hatred of love is also the truth.
Second: a happy marriage must be that both parties know how to give.
I used to hear others say that when you get married, you must find someone who loves you, if you really can't find it, find someone who loves you, don't look for someone you love.
Before I was young and didn't understand, now I slowly understand.
Falling in love is indeed important for a marriage, because only love can make two strangers willingly pay for each other.
Why didn't Xiao Wu in the above article feel that he was wrong all the time? He felt that the other party took advantage of him when he got married, he felt that his wife who was taken to the hospital by ambulance had a small illness, and even if he finally compromised and regretted it, he only felt that he was too harsh on his wife, not because of love.
Such a marriage, even if it can go on, how long can it go? Can you really be happy?
The road of life is very long, if two people do not have a little emotional foundation, do not know how to pay for each other, then the day must be very difficult to live.
Just like the older generation of couples, many of them live together, as outsiders, do we think they are happy?
So, if you can, find someone who is willing to pay for you and can make you willing to pay for him, so that you can live a life, otherwise the rest of your life will only be a will.
Text/No Pen