Recently, the TV series "Dear Child" ushered in the grand finale, and the husband and wife love of Fang Yinuo and Xie Tianhua in the play cried a lot of people.
Because Yinuo's daughter Hehe suffered from leukemia, although Tianhua was not Hehe's biological father, he regarded Hehe as if he were his own.
Since Hehe had not found a match, looking at his wife Yinuo was very distressed, Tianhua blamed himself for drinking alone.
After Yinuo learned about it, he went to pick up Tianhua, who was drunk, and Tianhua said: Am I not a good father?
A sentence made Yinuo feel painful, and the picture of two people hugging each other also made the audience sigh with emotion.
This is what love looks like in marriage.
They share the wind and rain, share the glory, respect each other, love each other.
You can share the same happiness, and you can share the suffering.
There is a marriage of love, not only the wind and flowers and snow moon poetry wine and tea, but also the righteousness of each other, sharing the "cold tide" and sharing the "neon".
There is a loving marriage
Start by sharing the housework
In 2007, the University of California, Berkeley, did a survey on the reasons for the breakup, and the results were shocking.
The reason for the breakup is not money and betrayal, but —
"There is no toilet paper in the toilet", "plates and bowls in the kitchen without brushing", "Shower gel is not added, dirty clothes are piled up" and other household chores.
Another set of data also shows that who does the chores has become the primary reason for divorce for Chinese couples.
In this set of data, "the employment rate of Chinese women ranks first in the world", "Chinese men's housework time ranks fourth from the bottom in the world", "Chinese women spend 81 minutes more time doing housework than men"...
Each statistic is a blatant display of the impact of chores on marriage.
Writer Li Bihua once said:
"A woman, how much love does it take to stand by the kitchen and wash that pile of dishes."
Yes, the last straw that crushed marriage was not money, not betrayal, but housework.
Two years ago, a post titled "Husband does not wash dishes for 4 days, wife files for divorce" went viral.
The wife in the post is not tall, a little chubby, and is doing lamp sales. The husband has a better personality, does not smoke and drink to go out to play, pure otaku one, holding the computer all day.
The two have a two-room house with a small area with their in-laws. In-laws give to take the children and cook. The two went to their in-laws' house every day to eat and take the children home.
For a while, the wife company engaged in activities, especially busy, came home very late, did not go to the in-laws' house to eat, are the husband from the in-laws to bring meals back to her to eat, after eating the bowl to the sink a throw, continue to busy work, for 4 consecutive days.
Finally waiting for the wife to have some free time, I went to the kitchen to see that the sink was full of bowls for 4 days.
She washed herself and cried as she washed.
She makes as much money as her husband.
The child usually goes to school, her in-laws pick up and drop them off, eats at her in-laws' houses, and her in-laws are sick and she takes them to see.
Married for so many years, she did all the housework, and her husband did not do any housework.
Except for taking some money home, there is no contribution, and there is really no difference between having this husband and not having this husband.
At that moment she decided to divorce.
The way couples do housework is what your marriage looks like.
Florence Isaacs has a truth:
"Taking on obligations is the foundation of a happy and long-lasting marital relationship."
Household chores are small, but they should not be underestimated.
It is both an obligation in marriage and the basis for the happiness of the relationship marriage.
Life is not a TV series, there are not so many big winds and waves, more is chai rice oil and salt.
Men's attitude towards housework hides the warmth of loving you.
There is a loving marriage
Start by talking well
Between husband and wife, the most taboo is not to talk well.
And not speaking well, the most typical manifestation is the use of cold violence.
Cold violence is a form of violence that is often manifested through indifference, contempt, alienation and indifference.
How terrible is cold violence, someone asks?
More depressing than violence, it is psychological and spiritual torture.
There is no verbal communication, no emotional communication, and the indifferent attitude of the other party makes you feel suffocated.
"He ignored me for most of the month, and I don't know what I did wrong, but it became like this without any warning."
"Every time he quarreled he didn't talk to me clearly, we ignored each other as soon as we quarreled, accumulated too many problems, he was tired, I was tired, and I broke up today."
Cold violence is actually a vicious circle.
One person is constantly avoiding the other, while the other is constantly seeking the other's attention, and both people are constantly trying, but they never get the desired result.
For example, you quarreled today, you want to reconcile with your husband, but he refuses to communicate with you, eats and sleeps every day, just ignores you, and over time, it will be unbearable.
In The Pilgrimage of One Man, it is said:
"Cherish the true feeling of language, and don't use them as ammunition."
Marriages with love often have a partner who can talk well.
Communicate with the people you love the most, please be a little more tolerant, a little more patient.
Have something to say, say it slowly.
The attitude of a person speaking to you hides the depth of love for you.
There is a loving marriage
Start by ending cold violence
What is the Cold War?
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The Cold War is like a rainstorm, I don't have an umbrella standing in front of your door, I want to knock on the door several times, and ask if you can take shelter. But I didn't, and then stood in the rain all the time.
In the eighth issue of "Goodbye Lover", Tong Chenjie and KK have a cold war.
The cause of the incident was that KK promised his mother and mother-in-law to control drinking, and the front foot agreed, and the back foot immediately bought a lot of wine and invited the staff to drink together, which did not end until three o'clock in the morning.
Tong Chenjie believes that the problem is very serious, and he will change it if he presents the seriousness of the problem to him.
So he did not communicate with KK privately, and pointed out KK's mistakes in front of everyone, which embarrassed KK.
The Cold War began, the two sides did not communicate for more than ten hours a day, the relationship fell to the freezing point, and the atmosphere was very depressing.
At the dinner table, Zhu Yaqiong said about the cold war between the two people: "The cold war is very emotionally draining" and suggested that the two solve it as soon as possible.
Although both are at fault, Tong Chenjie loves KK and takes the initiative to bow her head in this cold war, first talking to KK, and then sending him Children's Day gifts.
And KK also loves Tong Chenjie, down the steps given by Tong Chenjie.
In the end, the two were successfully reconciled by a little strawberry bear.
Observer Li Weijia shared with everyone a way to deal with the Cold War on the two of them resolving the Cold War.
An old couple argued for many years.
The secret of their quarrel is that after each quarrel, Grandpa will tighten the cap of the bottle at home very tightly.
The next day, when the grandmother could not unscrew the bottle, she took the initiative to break the deadlock and asked the grandfather for help.
Grandpa and grandma have had many quarrels in their lives, but they can love each other until they are old, and the reason is to put an end to the Cold War.
After all, the Cold War is the "chronic poison" of marriage and the best way to consume a relationship.
A loving marriage is to give each other a step down, not to let the contradictions intensify, not to give the Cold War an opportunity to take advantage of.
The Cold War is a silent war, although the war must be won or lost, but in this cold game, there is no winner, all the members lose.
Lost feelings, lost marriage.
A person's attitude toward you when he is angry hides the height of loving you.
The way of husband and wife
You are in business
Tolstoy said:
"Happy marriages are all similar, unhappy marriages have their own misfortunes."
Marriage is not easy, after all, every marriage will have 100 divorce thoughts, 50 times strangle each other's impulses.
The secret of happiness is the 101st handshake and the 51st forgiveness.
The so-called love to old age, there is no secret, just to share the housework when running the marriage, talk well, and put an end to the Cold War.
Falling in love is easier said than done.
Marriage is a university that takes a lifetime to graduate, and good graduates are good at managing feelings in marriage.
No matter how long you are married, you must maintain the original intention of love, be a beginner in marriage, and do and learn and cherish, always on the road.
The best state of marriage is that any time you see each other, you can have a smile from the heart.
May you be able to smile every day in your future marriage.