01
What would you do if you had been married for many years and had never had children?
A few days ago, I had a small gathering with a few old friends, and my friends Zhou Zhou was much more energetic than when they last met.
Zhou Zhou and her husband have been married for many years, but they have never conceived a child. The couple ran countless hospitals large and small, and after tasting various folk remedies and still fruitless, they finally decided to accept it calmly. Maybe when the fate arrives, the child will come?
Without the psychological burden, the state of Zhou Zhou is visible to the naked eye. And her relationship with her husband was not affected, and she lived happily in the world of two.
Yet there are very few lucky women like her. Most women who "can't give birth" to children after marriage will more or less encounter the white eyes and embarrassment of their in-laws in marriage.
In particular, some mothers-in-law who have old ideas and are eager to hold their grandchildren will even encourage their sons to divorce and change to a "fertile" woman to come back.
Wen Hui (pseudonym) was tragically separated by her mother-in-law because she had been married to her husband for many years without children.
02
WenHui and her husband are free in love, and the relationship has been very good for four years of marriage.
Although they have been married for so many years and have not had children, the couple usually lives in the city and rarely hears the gossip of their hometown in the countryside. Except for the occasional few symbolic concerns from colleagues and friends, I didn't feel much pressure.
They have always believed that the child's business can not be sought, and when the fate comes, it will naturally exist.
But the mother-in-law could not resist the mood of hugging her grandson in a hurry, and came from her hometown thousands of miles, changing the law every day to give Wen Hui a variety of folk remedies, hoping that she could give birth to a child as soon as possible.
After taking medicine for more than half a year, his stomach still did not move, not only WenHui cried bitterly, but his mother-in-law gradually lost patience. Insisting that no child is Wen Hui's problem, he secretly mocks her as a "hen who can't lay eggs" and no longer gives her a good look.
Later, Wen Hui overheard the conversation between mother and son. The mother-in-law actually encouraged her husband to go outside to find a woman, saying that when the woman outside was pregnant, she would divorce her immediately, and she would not let Wenhui cut off the incense of their family.
Wen Hui was sad, but she didn't know how to ask her husband what kind of idea she had about her mother-in-law's proposal. It can only be as if nothing has been heard, and it is still time to go to work, and it is time to prepare for pregnancy.
Wenhui also found that since her mother-in-law came, her husband's attitude towards her had cooled down day by day. Especially not long after the conversation between the mother-in-law and her husband, the husband always worked overtime and traveled, often returning home late, and sometimes not even going home for several days.
At that time, Wenhui still believed in her husband and thought that he was really busy with work.
Who knows that it didn't take long for Wen Hui to discover the secret of her husband's extramarital affair, and the woman outside the marriage was soon pregnant.
For Wen Hui, this is undoubtedly a thunderbolt on a sunny day.
How can a husband develop an extramarital relationship behind his back? Did he forget the original vows of the mountain and the promise of a lifetime?
But in the face of the news that the woman outside the marriage became pregnant so quickly, she began to doubt herself: Is it really herself who has delayed her husband's right to be a father for so many years?
The mother-in-law was overjoyed, forcing Wenhui to quickly divorce and "abdicate and let Xian". She's going to greet her new daughter-in-law and baby grandchild.
Wen Hui is a kind woman who happily agrees to the divorce.
The husband became the ex-husband, the mother-in-law became the ex-mother-in-law, and everything was like a dream.
On the other hand, for the former mother-in-law, finally driving away Wenhui, a "bad daughter-in-law" who will not have children, and welcoming her eldest grandson, can be called a good thing for the double happiness to come to the door.
The former mother-in-law was overjoyed and immediately sent a circle of friends: "My son is finally divorced, celebrate." She also commented on her own, typing WenHui's "inability to be born" in the comment area, making everyone known.
During that time, Wen Hui was quite depressed. It is not that she is entangled in divorce, but such a private matter is "widely publicized" by her ex-mother-in-law, and Wen Hui feels that she can't look up.
Later, she finally plucked up the courage to go to the hospital for a check-up, and the report showed that there was nothing wrong with her body.
Since there is no problem, why can't you give birth? Could it be the ex-husband's own problem? Or is it that they really don't have children with each other?
Although Wenhui has long since let go of her feelings with her ex-husband. But in the two years since the divorce, these problems have occasionally surged into her heart, affecting her emotions.
It wasn't until not long ago that Wen Hui learned about her ex-husband's recent situation from a friend and understood the truth of the matter.
It turned out that after the ex-husband and the lover got married and had a child, the ex-mother-in-law urged to have a second child, and the result was that she had not been pregnant.
Later, the ex-husband went to the hospital to check and learned that he suffered from infertility, and the child born by the lover was not his at all, and he became a receiver.
The ex-husband consciously suffered great humiliation, clamored for divorce, the lover was unwilling to leave, and the life was a mess.
The mother-in-law was even more angry that her face was green, and she sighed every day.
Their affairs have slipped out of nowhere, and now relatives, friends, neighbors and neighbors know about it and treat it as a joke.
In the end, in order to give Wen Huiming a grievance, the friend even turned out the circle of friends before the former mother-in-law, saying that now the ex-husband's family has become the laughing stock of everyone.
Wen Hui couldn't help but feel sighing after listening to it, and sure enough, poor people must have something to hate. Now they are in such a situation, which is entirely caused by themselves and does not deserve anyone's sympathy.
03
In life, there are many people like Wen Hui's family who, because women "can't give birth" to children, will find another way to propose children outside of marriage and abandon their original matches.
And often in the end, it is precisely they who are hurt the most.
Through their stories, they also tell us the following two truths.
One: Smart men know how to protect their families and wives.
People have always been accustomed to comparing men to big trees.
Because responsible men are often like a towering tree, stretching out their strong branches to protect their wives and children from heavy rain and exposure to the hot sun, so that they can spend their lives safely and steadily under the "tree".
Smart men know how to protect their families and wives. When there is a problem between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law or encounters a conflict in life, strive to maintain the harmony and integrity of the family.
Only those men who do not act will let their wives fight against the wind and rain alone, and let their parents embarrass their wives and children.
Just like Wen Hui's ex-husband.
If after the mother-in-law comes, the ex-husband can still take on the responsibility of protecting his wife and look at the "infertility" matter rationally and positively. Instead of following the advice of the mother to propose a child outside of marriage, perhaps the series of tragedies that followed would not have happened. Maybe they can live happily ever after without children.
But life doesn't have that much if. If you miss a lot of things, it is difficult to make up for them.
Therefore, men must understand that as the main backbone of a small family, they must support a piece of heaven for their wives and children like a big tree.
Instead of listening to the wind is the rain, in the face of great right and wrong, let others control their lives.
Second: Smart old people will not interfere too much with their children's families.
It is said that there is an old family like a treasure.
A truly wise old man never interferes too much in the family affairs of his children. Rather, it is like a guiding light, pointing out the direction of children when they are confused.
Especially in the matter of children's marriage, outsiders still know the truth of "persuasion and not persuasion", and can try their best to say peace in the face of ordinary passers-by couples. Those who are elders should not be confused and take the initiative to break up the marriage of their children.
However, in real life, there are too many old people like Wenhui's mother-in-law.
They always like to meddle in the lives of their children and make random suggestions behind their backs. It seems to be for the good of the children, but the result is often the opposite of what is desired, making things worse.
For a family, children are important. We can also fully understand the old man's eagerness to hold his grandson.
But the marriage of children should be left to their own hands.
Now that science and technology are so developed, there are many channels through which children can be desired, and it is not necessary to take such an extreme approach as courtship outside of marriage. The most important thing is that the husband and wife should love each other and be able to support each other and share happiness and suffering together.
Otherwise, even if you find a woman who can have children, you will have offspring as you wish. But the husband and wife are not harmonious, the days are every day chickens flying and dogs jumping, life is not more disturbing?
In life, it is impossible to be perfect in everything, and everything is open. Cherishing what you already have is the most worthwhile thing to do at the moment.
Text/No Pen