Douban opened a score of 8.1, but "Dear Child" was scolded on the hot search.
The reason is not that the drama is too bad, but that the drama is too real, so real that people are anxious.
In just the first six episodes, countless chicken feathers in ordinary family life are filmed when they face childbirth:
The wife experiences a ghost gate in the delivery room, and the husband is drinking and watching a ball game;
The mother-in-law secretly wanted to take away the placenta, and wrapped wontons for the second son to eat;
The fixed sister-in-law did not dry halfway, and the mother-in-law on the top loved to smoke and play mahjong;
The child had just reached the full moon, and because of the negligence of her mother-in-law, she fell head down to the ground...
Under all kinds of conflicts, most of the audience is indignant and resentful of the heroine Fang Yinuo:
Why marry him? Why not get a divorce yet?
However, a passage by Yi Nengjing, a family member of Qin Hao, as one of the main actors, may give the audience another answer:
Some people say that after watching TV, I am afraid of marriage, but I think that is why love is precious.
Learning to balance between the self and each other, from one person to three people, Xiao Lu and Yinuo tried their best, but they could not do anything.
When we accused our husband Xiao Lu of not being responsible, Fang Yinuo never thought about divorce;
When we think that Fang Yinuo is aggressive, Xiao Lu always suffers in silence.
From another point of view, if there is no love, they must not be able to last that long.
Is The marriage between Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu really as embarrassing as imagined?
Life has never been tolerated.
"Dear Child" honestly unfolds the layers of details of fertility and brings it to us one by one.
For Mom Fang Yinuo, pregnancy means re-learning to live in a different way.
The body hidden under the aura of the "Great Mother" is covered with fine and dense stretch marks, and the face cannot escape the invasion of pregnancy spots.
You can't eat spicy noodles and you can't wear nice clothes. Even when sleeping, I couldn't lie comfortably on the bed, and I could only half-recline on the sofa.
The real production scene faithfully restored in the play can also be called the first large-scale attempt of domestic films.
After the ghost door was closed for a while, the first smile that the mother showed after giving birth was of course also full of maternal love, but more was the happiness and relief of returning to the human world safely.
At this point, the challenge of the couple has just begun.
Wife Fang Yinuo wants to put down her dignity little by little, endure the embarrassment of fecal incontinence in front of her parents and friends, and get used to the embarrassment of leaking urine after being choked on spicy;
She had to temporarily forget the identity of her daughter, wife, and teacher, and concentrate on her children, focusing on being a novice mother, not caring for herself, let alone taking care of other people's emotions.
Husband Xiao Lu has to pick up his responsibilities little by little, when the family of three generations and five people, only he works to make money, the pressure is self-evident. He had to work harder overtime to make his family a little more relaxed.
However, he also had to take care of his family. After the mother-in-law came to the house to bring the baby, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law was often triggered. He is like a fire extinguisher, wherever it catches fire, even if he has fire gas on his body.
In this tense and oppressive environment, both of them panicked and embarked on a forked track, moving farther and farther away from each other.
Ren Suxi (playing Fang Yinuo) said in an interview that although Fang Yinuo's situation is sympathetic, she also has a lot of problems in her body, and she has to be ignored, and everything must be won or lost.
Perhaps it is the reason for the instability of hormones after childbirth, she does not trust her sister-in-law, and even more does not trust her mother-in-law, in this obsession of "everyone wants to harm my child", she becomes more and more extreme, making people feel strange.
People almost forget that before becoming a mother, her amniotic fluid is broken, but she will still intimately let her husband go home to work first, and he can hold on alone.
In the contrast of Fang Yinuo, Xiao Lu's absence stung the hearts of countless "strong" mothers.
He began to use his work to avoid childcare responsibilities, preferring to sleep in the car rather than go home and coax the children, let alone comfort his exhausted wife.
Eventually, he cheated on the company's clients and completely crushed an already faltering marriage.
The quarrel between the two people in the divorce is a true portrayal of countless strange couples: cruel and accurate stabbing into each other's sore spots, not like lovers who have lived together for many years, but like enemies who have been resentful for a long time.
However, God is a good screenwriter, and there is no shortage of dog blood stories in this world.
After the divorce, her daughter Hehe suffered from leukemia. In order to treat their daughter," they chose to have another child.
Countless viewers strongly asked: Since having children is so painful, raising children will squeeze their energy out, and even marriages will break up, why should there be another one?
Is it worth it?
After re-watching the devastated married life of the first 7 episodes, I found the answer through the cracks in the quarrel.
Fang Yinuo and Xiao Lu fell in love when they were in college, and their parents did not agree with the relationship. But the two never thought of giving up on each other, and finally persuaded their parents with love and sincerity, and they also lived happily after marriage.
Every day after work, Xiao Lu will help Fang Yinuo wash fruit on time, massage the edematous thighs and calves, and even sleep on the sofa with her;
Obviously, his body is not very comfortable, and Fang Yinuo will also pick up his spirit and imagine the life after the birth of the child with Xiao Lu.
In the Korean drama "The World of Husbands and Wives", the heroine faces the broken marriage and sighs:
No one in a failed marriage can really retreat, there is no real sense of winning or losing, and even the mutual who once loved each other can't say which link is wrong.
The reason why "Dear Child" makes people feel anxious and depressed is because it focuses more on the pain of childbirth and ignores the happiness after childbirth.
There's no denying that raising children is really grinding, and chicken flying dog jumping is a daily routine.
But watching their children grow up day by day is also an incomparably healing process for many parents.
Mothers who are tormented by late-night feeding and are about to collapse will gently stroke their children's bodies lovingly after their children are asleep;
Dads who work overtime at the company will secretly click on the video of the child's first call "Dad" during the meeting.
There is also the scene where the child learns to stand for the first time, the first time he throws himself into your arms, the first time he draws a family of three holding hands on a blank piece of paper...
This kind of small moment of happiness often contains huge energy and can offset a lot of negative and anxious emotions.
Therefore, whether it is the prototype story of "Dear Little Child" or the adaptation of the TV series, parents are willing to do something that challenges morality and ethics such as "save this sick child and have another child".
"Dear Little Kid" is based on true events.
In 1990, Qin Deqiang married Yan Ying, and the two had two children. After 12 years, for various reasons, they chose to divorce.
No one expected that just one year later, the eldest son would be diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome, a blood disease as serious as leukemia.
There are no suitable hematopoietic stem cells in the bone marrow bank, and although the younger son has successfully matched the bone marrow, he cannot donate because he is too young to donate.
At this time, the unsuspecting doctor said that the umbilical cord blood of siblings could also save lives, and the probability of conjuration was high.
Desperate, Yan Ying resolutely decided to have another child with her ex-husband and save her son with umbilical cord blood.
In September 2006, she delivered a baby boy by caesarean section at Chengdu Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital. Unfortunately, the cord blood did not match, and the eldest son died shortly after his condition deteriorated.
It is touching that although the eldest son is only 9 years old, he has to accept the impermanence of fate and endure the torment of illness, but he still becomes well-behaved and sensible under the education of his parents.
He was very distressed about his little brother, felt that his brother was very wronged, and was born with a heavy mission.
Before his death, he said that his greatest wish was that his mother would be safe, able to recover as soon as possible, and live a good life with his two younger brothers.
When I wrote this story, I didn't want to explore social ethics, but I just wanted to seek an answer to the question of why is it so painful to have children?
As Hu Kun, director of "Dear Child", said:
People are animals that seek advantage and avoid harm, but it is very strange that when we really face it ourselves, you have infinite strength and courage.
Human nature is fluid, people have potential, you are far stronger than you think, each of us, lip service to the pain of life, but still love life.
Because in this world, in addition to the pain of being seen, everyone must feel more and more powerful love, enough to fill our troubled lives, so that we can make braver decisions and try our best to live this life.
In the comment area of "Dear Child", many mothers sighed, and this drama reminded her of the past that she did not want to recall.
From another perspective, perhaps this sentence also means:
Fortunately, there are still beautiful moments in life, allowing us to blur painful moments and seal up the unbearable past.
The sincere eyes and words between husband and wife can make people forget the awkwardness of quarrels;
The child's innocent smiling face can make people forget the collapse of and and feeding in the middle of the night.
Director Hu Kun said:
Where are there so many good guys and bad guys in life?
Everyone is not perfect, they all have both sides, and this is the real person.
We are often faced with a conflict between "right" and "right", and the choice between "right" and "right" is so clear that there is no dilemma or no solution if it is so clear that it is right or wrong.
Rather than exaggerating anxiety, Dear Little Ones, it alleviates anxiety.
As an ordinary person without God's perspective, we often live in our own perspective, only see our own bitterness and heartache, and feel that others are making a big fuss and making unreasonable sense.
This kind of "incomprehension" will make two people who were originally in love create a fine and dense gap in their daily life.
When we look back at this marriage full of holes, we find that the contradictions can be resolved.
From "Dear Little Child", we can make up for the lost perspective and get a glimpse of the whole picture of life.
Fang Yinuo did not understand what it was like to have a child in advance, so he would laugh and praise Haikou, "I am such a big person, can't I give birth to a small child", so that Xiao Lu also did not pay attention to it, and finally missed the paternity.
Xiao Lu didn't understand what it meant to take care of the child, so when Fang Yinuo complained that he didn't take care of the child to get up at night, he would say the classic excuse: "You don't have to go to work during the day, you can catch up on sleep."
For two people who love each other and are willing to give to each other, this should have been avoided.
——Prepare enough money within the scope of ability, learn more parenting knowledge, think more from the perspective of the other party, learn to see the other party's efforts...
After the episode aired, many people changed their original views.
Some young people took the initiative to ask their mothers about their previous childbirth experience and vowed never to lose their temper with their mothers again;
Some men watched the drama and cried, and sighed at their buddies: "It's not easy for women, we really have to be nice to our wives."
Fear comes from the unknown, and the opposite of anxiety is concrete.
"Dear Child" shows us a "worst possibility" of marriage, but because of this, we can experience another life in the play, see another choice, and the cause and effect of another fate;
Only in this way can we adjust the direction of our progress in time before the crossroads of real life, and have the courage to believe that love is the only salvation of our troubled life.
The picture in this article comes from the network
Author: Lee Er Er
Proofreading: Autumn and Autumn
Producer: Sleep away
Producer: Wheat cooked in the studio