The origin of feelings is a fate.
Couples can go to the end, must have the following three points, see if you have it?
01
The three views are consistent, and it is easy to be happy
The Analects says, "Different paths do not conspire with each other, and different aspirations do not make friends with each other." ”
Things are clustered in groups, and people are grouped.
Any long-term relationship must have the same frequency, otherwise it will only fall apart.
Therefore, sentient beings may not be white-headed, and only when the three views are consistent can they be happy.
Zhu Shuzhen, a famous female poet of the Song Dynasty, experienced an extremely painful marriage.
Born in a family of eunuchs, Zhu Shuzhen grew up in a well-off family and read poetry and books.
In the Song Dynasty, when Chongwen Yanwu was revered, the ideal lover in Zhu Shuzhen's mind was naturally also endowed with poetry and song.
Unfortunately, her father promised her to an official with no ink on his chest.
At the beginning, Zhu Shuzhen was full of fantasies about her husband and hoped to communicate with her husband more to enhance her feelings.
Unfortunately, Zhu Shu's true feelings were only exchanged for her husband's vicious words and fists and feet.
Getting along with such a rude and shallow person, Zhu Shu was really miserable. Full of poetry, no one appreciates, not even a trace of common interest and love.
The married life of the two gradually went against the grain, and many years later, Zhu Shuzhen chose to jump into the river and commit suicide, ending this unfortunate marriage.
Behind the three views, what is hidden is the growth process and way of thinking of the two people.
You like to watch movies, and he mocks you for not being worth spending money; you enjoy being at ease with your encounters, and he laughs at you for not knowing how to be motivated; you are willing to be salty, and he despises you for being covered in oil smoke.
Obviously, it was a mutual complaint, but in the end it became a chicken and a duck.
Couples who can't even talk together can never understand and tolerate.
Just like wearing a pair of shoes that grind your feet, the longer you grind, the more painful it will be, and how to spend the rest of your life?
Married life is like building a house together, it is far from enough to rely on the efforts of one person, and if you want to go long, you also have to see whether the three views can fit.
The most important thing about the so-called door-to-door pair is not the matching of the door, but the consistency of the three views.
As the saying goes: the circle is different, there is no need to be strong, the three views are not in harmony, and there is no need to go together.
A truly long-lasting marriage must all be consistent with the three views.
02
Trust each other, the better
So-called: "Ten years of repair to cross the same boat, a hundred years of repair to sleep together."
The two met and knew each other by providence, and knew each other and relied on man.
Mutual trust and honesty are the basic prerequisites for a marriage to last.
There is an experiment in which a person is asked to wear an eyepatch, and with the support of the other party, cross a road and return to the starting point, and if he succeeds, he can get a valuable prize.
The simple requirements have attracted many couples and couples to sign up to participate.
But there are very few people who can really get prizes.
It turns out that blindfolded people do not take a few steps, they will be affected by the sound of whistles next to their ears, trust will collapse at this moment, people will unconsciously take off their blindfolds, and naturally they will not be able to reach the end.
The same is true in marriage, only by loving each other, it will eventually give up halfway, and only by trusting each other can we have the rest of our lives.
Once two people have suspicion, there will be a gap, even if the same bed is a different dream.
As the old saying goes: "As a husband and wife, there is no doubt about love and affection." ”
Suspicion is the most senseless thing. There is a lot of suspicion, and even if it is okay, it will cause trouble for no reason.
When I heard the phone ring, I suspected that there was someone; when I saw someone laughing with others, I was worried about cheating.
The biggest taboo in marriage is suspicion.
Only by knowing each other can we not doubt each other, and only by not doubting each other can we keep each other for a long time.
Two people, from meeting each other to accompanying each other, is a long and uneventful process.
Having trust is the best preservative for happiness.
03
Cherish gratitude and stay together until you are old
The elders often say: "One day husband and wife are 100 days, and 100 days husband and wife are as deep as the sea." ”
Feelings are mutual, it is not easy to become a husband and wife, do not wait until you miss it to know how to cherish.
There is such a story:
There is an old couple who sell burnt cakes, and if they are slightly unhappy, they will complain to each other and lose their temper.
On this day, the business was too busy, and the two quarreled bitterly. The husband yelled, "I'm tired of this, you're not satisfied, if you do this again, I'm not welcome!" ”
Not to be outdone, the wife shouted, "I haven't done less to live, you only know yourself." There is a kind of you come, I will not live! ”
Seeing the two arguing with Yu Lie, the next-door neighbor came forward and shouted: "Come on people, here are free baked cakes, come and get it!" ”
The couple was in a hurry and hurried up to protect the burnt bread.
The man laughed and said, "None of you care about anyone anyway, and if you don't want to live, what's the use of this burnt bread?" ”
Suddenly, the couple fell silent.
The most terrible thing about a family is not poverty, but not gratitude.
Home is not a battlefield, if there is only accusation and complaint, lack of warmth and understanding, the feelings are naturally getting weaker and weaker.
Families that can stay together until they are old are often more grateful than picky.
The long-term companionship of husband and wife is inseparable from the escort of gratitude.
Gratitude is understanding and cherishing. Only by cherishing each other's efforts can we be less critical, less complaining, and less accusatory.
Such a family can be loved by husband and wife, and they can grow old together.
A writer said: "The decadent family atmosphere, soaked for a long time, scattered and easy." ”
In this world, all the partners who have been bored for a long time are not born perfectly matched, but they know how to inject gratitude into life.
Husband and wife are mutual, and only by using each other's hearts and being grateful and cherishing can they truly last forever.
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"May the hearts of one man be won, and the white heads shall not be separated."
It is the husband and wife who depend on each other from beginning to end; it is the husband and wife who are sick and bedridden to accompany each other; and it is the husband and wife who do not abandon each other when they are old.
What can really make two people go to the end is indispensable to the three views of fit, mutual trust, and gratitude in the heart.
Couples who have these three kinds of things can last forever, be happy for a long time, and have a happy home and everything. How many of them do you have?
Author : Yungu Division Source: Daily Practice One Good Practice Platform
On the Wisdom of the Word