Text / First Brew
It was late at night, but the wind and rain did not stop, and the thick black clouds rolled in the twilight, as if they were going to swallow up the whole world. In the midst of this miserable rain, a figure quietly emerged from the nunnery and stopped at the lake in front of the nunnery. After a few minutes of silence, he jumped resolutely and disappeared into the lake in the blink of an eye...
She is Zhu Shuzhen, a woman who fights with her life and the times.
Zhu Shuzhen was born in a family of officials and eunuchs in Hangzhou, Zhejiang during the Shaoxing period of the Southern Song Dynasty. She has been bright and lively since childhood, her personality is frank, she has been proficient in poetry and painting at a very young age, and she also understands musical rhythms, often helping her father clean up the antiques in the family, and her childhood was spent in a carefree way.
The pale red shirt penetrates the skin, and the water cabinet is weak in the early summer.
Alone with nothing to do, the water and the wind are cool to read the paper.
- "Summer Trip to the Water Pavilion"
Summers are long, and the silent afternoons are even more boring. A little girl in a pale red dress sat alone in the gazebo by the lake reading, the breeze blowing, only to hear the rustle of books, but it was a look of quiet years. At that time, Zhu Shu was really happy, and her world had the love of her parents and the support of poetry.
With the passage of time, little Zhu Shuzhen entered the age of the young girl Huaichun. Parental affection and poetry and literary endowments could no longer satisfy her pursuit of a romantic life, and she began to have pink dreams.
The first time he double-bearded to learn thrush, who does the unknown belong to him?
To be full of mid-autumn moon, pay Xiao Lang ten thousand poems.
- "Autumn Occasional"
Finally, instead of combing the twin buns that symbolize children, she can learn to dress up and become a gentle and shy girl. Her heart was no longer at peace, and she began to fantasize about that Xiao Lang, waiting for her at a certain corner.
Which girl is not pregnant with spring, not to mention Zhu Shuzhen, a woman who is full of fantasies about life. She doesn't seek glory and wealth, and she doesn't care about the right door, she just wants someone who likes herself and understands herself.
Today, this may be only the most basic requirement for love, but in the Southern Song Dynasty more than eight hundred years ago, this was impossible to ask for. Perhaps it was the heavens who took care of her, and on the sixth day of the first lunar month of the year, she really met Xiao Lang in her dream.
On the sixth day of the first lunar month of that year, the cold spring was still there, but the women who had difficulty getting out of the house were happily dressed up one by one, and Zhu Shuzhen was also there. Walking on the street, a man came in front of her, Yushu was windy and extraordinary, and what made her even happier was that she actually had a sense of déjà vu about him, just like Jia Baoyu who first saw Daiyu, "Where have I seen this sister?"
Maybe it was really a sharp heart, and the man actually walked up to her and talked to her. She responded timidly, but her heart was like drinking thick honey water, nourishing sweetness. Her intellectual talent also made him admire, so he agreed to reunite next time.
Since then, she has begun to have expectations, like all women who dream of love, day and night looking forward to the day of reunion.
Crooked, new year crescent hook han jade.
Hook Han jade, phoenix shoes are small, and green eyebrows are broken.
Moth snow willow adds makeup, candle dragon fire tree scrambles.
Scramble, the Lantern Three-Five, not as good as the first six.
—— "Remembering qin'e, the sixth day and night of the first lunar month"
The moon in the sky is like a warm jade, the lights on the street are like brilliant fireworks, and the city is full of prosperity. She dressed up elaborately, put on her shoes embroidered with colorful phoenixes, smiled nervously between her brows, and walked expectantly to the place where she had met him, just so that she could see the person who had been thinking about him for a long time again.
However, she could not fight that era after all, and he could not become her lover. Her parents still made a marriage for her that she thought was the right door, she opposed, she fought, but to no avail, she eventually married the man she didn't like.
She does not love him, and naturally after marriage, she will not be harmonious and happy, and she will not have the joy of Li Qingzhao and Zhao Mingcheng's gambling books and pouring tea. All day long she could only be depressed, like a lonely woman.
The mountain pavilion and the water pavilion are half in autumn, and the phoenix is lonely and unaccompanied.
Melancholy a little new, the double moth only old.
Up to the embroidery household, sometimes there is a degree of firefight.
Thank you for your mercy, I can't bear to be round this evening.
- "Bodhisattva Man. Mountain Pavilion Water Pavilion Autumn Square Half》
The autumn day with light clouds and light winds, and the beautiful scenery of the mountain pavilion and water pavilion, could not dispel the loneliness in her heart. Lying alone in the tent, feeling the silence of the whole house, without a trace of life. Got up and went to the window, and in the silent darkness of the night only streams of fireflies flew by. Looking up at the crescent moon in the sky, was it also pitiful to her, and she couldn't bear to turn round.
She was too lonely and too unwilling to spend her life on it, so she boldly crossed the taboo and regained her love with the man she had met at the festival of sending the poor. She carries her husband on her back, meets her lover many times, and because of the nourishment of love, her poems have the joy of the past.
Annoyed by the smoke, I had to hold on.
Hand in hand with Lotus Lake on the road, a yellow plum drizzle.
The petite is not afraid of people guessing, and the group is temporarily sad.
The most is the time to carry it, come back to the lazy makeup table.
- "Qingping Le Summer Tour lake"
The lotus flowers were filled with smoke and dew, and she painted the whole pond, and she swam hand in hand with him, forgetting everything outside of her. Suddenly, a sudden burst of yellow plum rain blocked her way home, which made her excited, and she was worried that she could not find a reason to stay with her sweetheart for a while, and even God was helping him. She no longer held back, no longer hid the joy in her heart, and really hoped that this moment would become permanent.
However, the paper package could not hold the fire, her extramarital affair was still discovered by the husband's family, and the husband threw her out of the house with a letter of resignation, and the mother's family also felt that she was insulted and decided to accept her. The lover disappeared when she needed it most, and Zhu Shuzhen, who was desperate, could only live in the nunnery temporarily.
The fireworks in front of the Buddha could not drive away the resentment in her heart, and the morning bell and the twilight drum could not soothe the waves in her heart, and she suffered in pain day by day. She couldn't figure it out, was she wrong? Shouldn't it be true that the pursuit of freedom follows one's own heart? She used her weak body to fight against the unfair feudal etiquette.
One day, she could not resist, she was too tired, with the cold rain, she went to the depths of the lake, to the world in her heart.
Sitting alone, advocating solitude and sleeping alone.
Standing hurt, helplessly touching people with a cold breeze.
Whoever sees this, tears wash the makeup without half.
The sorrow is still the same, and the dream of eliminating the cold lamp is not successful.
- "Minus Magnolia Spring Grudge"
Sitting alone and advocating solitude, the lonely Zhu Shuzhen eventually went to death alone. Is it right or wrong to use your life against that era? Maybe it's just that she was born in the wrong era.