After Xiao Lu was with Dong Fan, many people said that he had changed and became a husband.
But in fact, Xiao Lu has never changed.
When he was with Fang Yinuo, he was also very good at being a husband. He would carry her on the street, would comfort her when she was anxious, would treat her parents better than his own mother, and when she had given birth to a child, even though he washed his hands many times in disgust, he said "this is what he should do, he will not abandon her."
But all of this, at the moment of his divorce, all became his unwillingness.
It can be seen that there is an essential difference between being a husband and becoming a good husband because you love your wife.
Xiao Lu has never been a good husband.
When divorcing Fang Yinuo, Xiao Lu had a big fight with her, counting the "grievances" he had endured in marriage. But the most direct reason for their divorce was that he betrayed the marriage.
Where did his righteousness come from? It was because he had this perception of marriage: he felt that betrayal was not a serious matter, after all, he did not mean it, he was drunk just for work, he apologized, and his wife should forgive him.
If his wife did not forgive him, it naturally became part of his "grievances".
However, a really good husband will not feel that fidelity to marriage is a trivial matter, and even if he makes such a mistake completely unconsciously, he will feel guilty about his wife, rather than feeling excusable.
In this kind of principled issue, he can't recognize his own mistakes, and even push the responsibility to the other party, which means that his past "good old lady design" is all pretended, just built for others to see. All he needs is to get others to recognize him as a good husband, not really want to be a good husband.
He was with Dong Fan, and it was the same. Under the premise that there is no big problem of right and wrong, he is very good, he is willing to care for Dong Fan, and he is willing to accommodate her. But once he encounters the problem of right and wrong, he will only consider it from his own standpoint, and will only think about himself.
Take the fact that he wanted to save Hehe, he had never considered Dong Fan. He felt that saving Hehe was the most important thing, and no matter what choices and decisions he made, Dong Fan should understand him and accept him.
You see, this is how similar to what he thought when he betrayed his marriage to Fang Yinuo, he is such a selfish man, he is willing to use small favors to please his wife, to make himself a "good husband", but once it comes to the real issue of principle, he will not think about his wife at all.
Of course, the matter of saving children is indeed the most important.
When I learned that if I had another child, I would have 50% hope that I could save hehe, and I thought that any parent would choose to fight for this hope. From this point of view, Xiao Lu wants to have another child with his ex-wife, and there is nothing wrong with it.
But he was wrong in "just wanting to have children with his ex-wife."
What does that mean? Xiao Lu said he never thought about getting a divorce. The implication is that he just wants to have another child with his ex-wife, and he has not thought of being responsible for his ex-wife and this child, nor has he thought about the feelings of his current wife, nor does he want to give up the stability of his existing marriage. He felt that this was not a big deal, that he would not remarry his ex-wife anyway, and that it would not affect his current marriage.
How ridiculous! He didn't realize how unfair this was to Dong Fan, nor did he think about the pressure and hurt he would put her on. He would even feel that he did this to save the child, and Dong Fan could not accept it, that was inhumane.
When a man, for some reason of his own, rationalizes the infringement of the rights of his spouse and believes that the spouse should tolerate him and accept him, then no matter what the reason behind this, the person is very selfish.
Yes, nothing is more important than life, and in the face of Hehe's illness, as long as there is a glimmer of hope, parents should work hard. Therefore, in order to save his daughter, Xiao Lu can choose to have a child with his ex-wife, but he should not use this matter to morally kidnap Dong Fan.
A man who really values marital fidelity, a man who truly loves his wife, in this case, he will first choose to divorce his wife and then go and have children with his ex-wife. Instead of when his wife filed for divorce, he still clutched hard and didn't let go.
From his "no divorce", it can be seen that this man is really too selfish, too greedy, he wants everything himself, but he does not care about what his wife has to bear.
Women should never marry a man who doesn't value marital fidelity.
Do you think dong fan proposed to divorce Xiao Lu, which is excessive? In my opinion, it is not excessive at all. Moreover, Xiao Lu should divorce Dong Fan.
As a father, he could not ignore the lives of his children. As a husband, he cannot ignore his wife's feelings. Then for him, the best choice is to divorce Dong Fan, and then have another child with Fang Yinuo to save Hehe.
For Dong Fan, the greatest kindness she can give is divorce.
But now Xiao Lu, he just doesn't want to give up marriage, he doesn't want to give up his children, he just wants to occupy everything and want everything. Fundamentally, it's because he's a man who doesn't value marital fidelity, and he doesn't realize how much it hurts his wife.
To put it bluntly, in fact, he just does not understand marriage, he just wants to enjoy the convenience of marriage, but also does not want to bear the constraints of marriage. How much responsibility can you expect such a man to have in his marriage and what kind of happiness he can manage?
Dong Fan and Xiao Lu's marriage, even if there is no such thing as Hehe's illness, it is difficult to reach the end smoothly. Xiao Lu is a man who does not value marriage loyalty in his bones, and Dong Fan is just another Fang Yinuo, and Hehe's illness only allows her to see Xiao Lu clearly in advance.
If there is anything wrong with Insisting on Dong Fan, she is wrong in marrying Xiao Lu. She knew that Xiao Lu was divorced and had children, so she should think about exploring the reasons for his divorce, and then carefully judge whether this man was worth marrying.
Here, I also remind all female friends that you must not marry a man who does not value marital fidelity, because such men are often selfish and greedy, and such a marriage will only make you unhappy.
The meaning of marriage, first of all, lies in mutual loyalty, and only by understanding this can he treat marriage correctly.
About the author: Meet and miss, a woman who likes to read and write, focusing on the creation of film and television emotional direction articles and the analysis and answers of questions in the emotional field, I hope that my words can accompany you warmly forward.