Hello webmaster, my ex-husband has entrusted people to find a relationship many times, and has also come to me and made a request for remarriage.
It was he who proposed the divorce, and now that I am older, I am alone with the child, the pain is on the one hand, and I also owe a debt for not being able to give my son a complete family, and more importantly, I did not let go of this relationship from the beginning, and I loved him very much at the beginning, and gave my all for this family and him.
However, many people advise that since they are separated, they should not eat back grass, and some people say that they are all at this age, and the replacement is not as good as the original match.
In such a situation, should I remarry? Is there no good end to remarriage?
There are not a few couples who choose to remarry after divorce, but is such a decision right? Will you be happy again?
There is no absolute right or wrong in choosing, but there are choices that maximize your own benefits under special circumstances.
After separating and finding out that the other party is good, or there is no one who is more in tune with themselves, it is understandable to choose to start over, but the premise must first consider two points, one is the reason for your separation? The second is what is your maximum expectation of this person after compounding.
If it is cheating and betrayal or violent separation, then the request for remarriage must not be considered. However, if there is no question of principle, it is necessary to analyze whether it can be repeated according to the actual situation.
Usually many people will think that if you love specially, then you will decisively choose to reunite, but in my opinion, once your love is really greater than the other party too much, facing an ex-husband (wife) that you really love, it is not suitable to choose remarriage.
Because of deep love, it is impossible to reunite
Divorce is not a trivial matter, but also a tedious process, not only the emotional relationship, but also each other's property, so it is not easy to make a decision, and it is not so simple to separate in the end, and even some couples divorce are in court, seeing each other's ugly face.
The injury of the separation process is a scar that is difficult to forget for a lifetime, and the more deeply loved, the deeper the wound, it is difficult to really freeze the previous suspicion because of a simple sentence.
Because of deep love, there will be excessive expectations
Why do we usually choose to remarry our ex? It must be that the other party can provide more value for your needs, and to put it bluntly, it is more cost-effective.
Why would you choose to agree to remarry someone who has hurt you? It is to think that the other party will be able to make up for the harm to himself after taking the initiative to pursue because of loss
But it was destined to be a more difficult time to get along harmoniously, so many people chose to separate again after remarriage.
Trying to reunite by breaking the mirror, regaining the original feelings and getting more care, the results obtained are nothing more than the repetition of the tragedy of the same mistakes.
Countless cognitions behind the consent to remarry are not whether two people are really suitable, but feel that since you have taken the initiative, since you have lost once, or recognized the importance of yourself, you will definitely double the compensation. But no matter what has been experienced, no one will make up for anyone from the heart, but can only continue to start again.
However, a new beginning is really not simple or even impossible for a party who has love in his heart, or loves more, because after all, if it is not because of love, how can you easily shield the original harm and choose to try to risk the relationship again.
It is precisely because of deep love that it is not recommended to reunite
Imagine when a couple would choose to divorce?
If there are no irreconcilable contradictions, obstacles that cannot be passed, and really cannot be passed, how many people are just gambling and separating, there must be reasons why they cannot tolerate and cannot continue.
Therefore, instead of clinging to the relationship of the past, it is better to truly format your life thoroughly and start over.
Compared with the original wrong marriage, it is our own cognition and growth
The author of "Love Yourself and WhoEver Marries The Same" mentioned in the book that when there is a rift in the relationship between the contradictions in the marriage, we instinctively push all the responsibility to the other party.
Sometimes we are not unaware of our own problems, but we are not willing to accept the evil in our hearts, so we need to make more efforts to hide and reject him, and use another hidden good to replace him to suppress him, or even forget him.
By putting all the responsibility on the other person, you can get more sense of redemption.
But if we don't really find our own problems and face our own real crux, then no matter who we change, the relationship will be difficult to harmonize.
Choosing to reunite with a person you love the most is most likely waiting for the other party to correct it into what you want, rather than simply managing the relationship itself.
Professor Yakos once said: "90% of the misfortune in life is because of unwillingness, which is the reason why many people do not know how to stop losses in time." ”
People who choose to remarry have a fluke mentality and an inertia psychology at work, and there are also factors of unwillingness, but the wrong direction can only make the journey of life more difficult and difficult.
There are really not many good times in this life, don't get entangled with the wrong people and things, and don't bet the rest of your youth on a relationship with a low probability.
It is not to prevent everyone from remarrying, but to really review themselves and relationships to make a decision, after all, if they are not right, it is really the same how many partners they have changed. Especially for children, the best care and love is a healthy and harmonious relationship, not a complete home disguised as a whole.
If you can really format the past, can really not hold any illusions and expectations and re-associate with the old people, then remarriage is not an optional choice, in addition to analyzing the causes of divorce, but also to see how much you invest in feelings and expectations.
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Text/Relief Emotional Station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at the restoration of romantic relationships, marital contradictions and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original ecological family. The lonely journey of life, listening to your grievances and pressures, helping visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, saving their lovers, managing their feelings, and striving to become happier people.