Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
Su Wu wrote in "Leaving a Farewell Wife": "As husband and wife, there is no doubt about love and affection. ”
The so-called married couple refers to the original couple.
The implication is that as the original couple, they should love each other and not doubt each other.
For the contemporary society with a high divorce rate, the proportion of original couples is getting smaller and smaller, and there are more and more couples in the middle of the road.
Some people think that as long as you find the right person, the second marriage can be happier than the first marriage, but in real life, what everyone sees is the opposite case.
Once saw a cartoon:
An original couple pulled a car forward, and the car sat the elderly and children, sweating, but working hard together.
In the same scene, a couple of 1-to-2 marriages pull a car forward, and the car is also sitting on the old man and the child, but they have their own concerns.
The biggest difference between a second marriage and a first marriage is that the interests are different, and the key to this interest lies in the children.
The 42-year-old zhang next door has been divorced for 15 years and remarried for 10 years, and in the past many times, he and his current wife have been living a peaceful life, sometimes even with fragments of love.
Now it seems that all this is just an illusion.
"Careful calculation" in the second marriage
He was introduced to his current wife, when his daughter was only in elementary school, and he often traveled on business, suffering from the fact that his daughter was left unattended, he decided to find a new wife.
The current wife is two years older than him, married much earlier than him, and the son brought by the wife is 5 years older than his daughter.
He found that his wife was a particularly industrious woman who knew how to take care of people, so he intended to associate with her.
In the process of dating, he also conducted a series of evaluations, such as observing her pattern of getting along with her daughter, and then asking for her opinion.
In the matter of remarriage, he and his wife can also be regarded as quite tacit understanding, they have carefully weighed each other's conditions, and then made a decision.
He has a high income, has two houses under his name, his wife earns 3,000 a month, raising his son is particularly difficult, although the ex-husband will give child support, but their life has not been rich.
Therefore, when they met him, their wives were also very happy, so they stepped into the palace of marriage.
Take what you need and be at peace with each other
Since they got married, their life patterns have been fixed, and their wives no longer go out to work, after all, it is also very hard to earn 3,000 a month, not to mention that the family also needs to be taken care of.
Lao Zhang will give his wife 8,000 living expenses every month, and the children's tuition fees are paid by him personally, and this living expense is relatively rich for his wife.
Old Zhang earned 15,000 a month, he saved the rest of the money, it is undeniable that he also has his own careful thoughts, after all, he and his wife are not the original match, and they also have different children.
But in the past decade, they have also been able to live in harmony because they have been able to take what they need in this marriage.
One has a hard time making money and needs to find a man to rely on; one who works regularly and needs someone to take care of his daughter.
Together, they met each other's needs, so they were able to spend the last many years in peace.
Interests are involved, and the original form is exposed
The child is going to grow up after all, and as the child grows up, the previous tranquility is also broken.
The stepson, who is now in his 20s, has a girlfriend and wants to get married, but is rejected by his father-in-law and mother-in-law because he does not have a house.
The wife consulted with Lao Zhang and wanted him to transfer another house to his son for marriage, but Lao Zhang refused, because this was what he planned to leave for his daughter.
His wife asked him to pay his son a down payment, and he refused, because his money was also left to his daughter.
Because of this incident, they had a very serious quarrel, the wife felt that he was too eccentric, but Lao Zhang felt that he had fulfilled the responsibility of a stepfather.
His biological father did not care about him except for a thousand living expenses a month, and Lao Zhang gave him good living conditions, and after the age of eighteen, he provided him with college, and he thought that he had done his best.
But the wife does not think so, she insists on buying a house for her son, otherwise she will divorce and divide the property, the house is premarital property she can not share, but in the past ten years they have a total of more than 300,000 savings, she can share half.
For the sake of their children, they tore their faces, and the love of the past was not worth mentioning.
Xiao Meng has something to say:
The second-married couple is also known as the half-way couple, and some of the second marriages have a good life, but most of them are not as good as the original match.
First, there is nothing to do in normal times, and when things happen, people's hearts are seen
In the case of peace and quiet, each other can live in harmony with each other, including children, and at a certain moment everyone is like a family that loves each other very much.
But this appearance is only an illusion after all, and when things are encountered, everyone's true face will surface.
At this time, everyone will understand what human nature is.
Second, interests are different and cannot withstand the waves
People often compare home to a haven, because in this place, everyone can be protected, but for second-married couples, this is not necessarily the place of warmth.
Because interests are different, everyone will think about themselves in advance, and marriages with different intentions cannot withstand any waves.
Once they encounter things related to interests, the first thing that comes to mind is their own interests, and some people will even do some crazy things for the sake of interests.
Third, there is no question of principle, try not to divorce
Many people choose to divorce because they are just hot-headed, and afterwards they will understand that they have made a very wrong decision.
Even if the original couple is noisy and noisy, they will advance and retreat together when they encounter things; even if the second-married couple is superficially affectionate, they will be ugly when they encounter things.
Although it is not 100%, I feel that in most cases, the happiness of the second marriage is far lower than the original match, so everyone must not tear down a home because of some small things.
In the absence of errors of principle, you must not divorce casually, otherwise this will be the most wrong thing you have ever done in your life.
Original author of the Zhuang Di Xiaomeng/Emotional Column
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled.