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The reason why so many marriages have ended in a rupture is that the relationship between the husband and wife is no longer what it used to be. Some time ago, a divorce case made people feel emotional, on the surface, the two people's separated wives bear the main responsibility, but a closer look will find that it hides a deeper truth.
Let's take a look at the 36-year-old man's self-description of how he slowly fell out of love for his wife during his 10-year marriage.
"I raised you, but I regret it"
Mr. Huang married Miss Liu 10 years ago, although Miss Liu's personal talent is not outstanding enough, people are not smart, but Mr. Huang is forced to withstand the pressure of the family and insists on being with Miss Liu. Mr. Huang said that he did not care whether his wife was smart or not, and his work ability was not strong, he liked ordinary and down-to-earth girls, not to mention that he could make money, as long as the girl's character was good, the others were not a problem.
After marriage, In order to create better living conditions for the husband and wife, Mr. Huang took the initiative to resign from the previous company and gradually embarked on the road of entrepreneurship, although the days of entrepreneurship are very busy, he still takes good care of his wife while busy with work, buys her a good breakfast before going out in the morning, and comes back in the evening to bring her a variety of delicious snacks.
Mr. Huang's family was originally not very satisfied with Miss Liu, but seeing that the little two were so sweet, they gradually let go of the mustard in their hearts. But not long after, the first change occurred, Miss Liu resigned, after which she has been staying at home, not eating or playing with mobile phones every day, relatives do not want to see Miss Liu so decadent, so they privately complain to Mr. Huang.
However, Mr. Huang did not feel that there was any problem, and he even told his parents that the two of them were trying to conceive.
Saying that it is a pregnancy preparation is just a pretext, after all, Miss Liu does not do any exercise every day except eating and sleeping, so that even if she is pregnant, it is easy to affect the health of the next generation.
Two years later, Mr. Huang and Miss Liu had a child, which would have been a happy thing, but Mr. Huang had a lot of criticism in his heart, because his wife's parenting method was too inappropriate, and the child had developed many bad habits with his wife.
Considering the child's education, Mr. Wang had to bring more belts himself, but he had to work during the day and come back at night to take care of the housework, and over time, his psychology was extremely dissatisfied, and even his attitude towards Miss Liu became more and more cold.
In the past, if others said that Miss Liu was not good, Mr. Huang was always the first to refute, but now that his parents feel that he married the wrong person, Mr. Huang did not say a word, and could only respond with silence.
Seeing that other people's wives can do and be smart, his heart can't help but envy, but when he thought of the time he said that he could make money and didn't have to rely on his wife, he could only put away his unwilling thoughts.
In the early days of the epidemic, Mr. Wang's career suffered a fatal blow, at this time he hoped that his wife could understand his pain, take the initiative to share it for him, it is best to find a job, subsidize the cost of the family, but Miss Liu stayed at home for too long, and has long been out of touch with society after finding several jobs, did not do a long time, and resigned within a few days.
Mr. Huang's attitude has completely changed, he no longer defends his wife, and he will not make the thoughtful actions he used to do, when Miss Liu discovered this change, she firmly believed that her husband did not love him, and since then, the quarrel between the two has not been broken.
With the slow passage of time, Mr. Huang's heart became more and more regretful, obviously the two people had been together for nearly 10 years, but their love was getting thinner and thinner. The breakdown of most marriages often begins with "over-giving" by one party.
Fuse: A wife who does not understand love
The marriage of Mr. Huang and Miss Liu eventually broke down almost a foregone conclusion, because the two of them paid quite unevenly in their feelings, the husband not only had to support the family in terms of finances, but also gave his wife intimate care, and Miss Liu has been staying at home and has hardly taken on any responsibility, even if the husband promises to raise him for a lifetime, but if the true heart can not be returned, the affectionate person will also be cold.
If Miss Liu could think about it for her husband from her husband's point of view, their marriage would never have gone to this point. Both parties in a marriage have to make appropriate self-sacrifices, and if both people are selfish, then the relationship will not last long.
Root: A husband who does not understand love
Isn't Mr. Huang Xianhuang right? He is also wrong, Fromm once said that overcoming narcissism is the first step of love, and Mr. Huang has always been a narcissistic man, he has never considered what his wife wants, he will only treat the other party as a baby when the economic conditions are rich, and blame the wife when the economic conditions are poor.
He enjoys sacrifice and giving, but he ignores his wife's growth. In an intimate relationship, only when both parties are sacrificed equally can the relationship satisfy each other. What do you think about this? Let's talk.
- The End -
Author | Tommida
Edit | Wan'an
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).