01
Since ancient times, there have been too many traditions and ethical things, and there have been huge contradictions.
It's like "filial piety" as we know it. In your opinion, how to treat parents is filial piety? What is the criterion of filial piety?
Some people will say that as long as parents eat well, dress well, and sleep well, it is filial piety; some people will say that as long as parents are at ease and happy, it is filial piety; some people will say that as long as parents suffer less, it is filial piety...
There are as many people as there are in this world, there must be as many standards of filial piety. Especially for parents and children, their standards for "filial piety" are different.
In the eyes of parents, children can take care of themselves, that is the greatest filial piety, which is a standard.
In the eyes of children, children want their parents to live a long life, and even leave the best resources to their parents, that is the greatest filial piety, which is also a standard.
There is a saying that "random flowers are gradually becoming attractive to the eyes." ”
The most paradoxical thing in the world is that people's values are different from others, and the things they see are not the same. At this time, conflict and misfortune also appeared.
You know, what you think is the best is not necessarily what others think is the best. Everything is particularly helpless.
02
The 70-year-old scolded that children do not let their parents "leave", which is the biggest filial piety.
Some time ago, a reader left a message in the background and said such a thing.
The reader, Mr. Li, is a particularly filial child, who not only spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to treat his father,000, but even entrusted people to buy a lot of precious drugs to come back, hoping that his father can live a little longer.
For the child's approach, Uncle Li felt desperate, and even dragged his seriously ill body, and scolded Mr. Li with his mouth open, saying that he had been doing this, which was not only irresponsible to the family, but also unfilial to his parents.
However, Mr. Li did not know what he had made, so he was particularly entangled.
In fact, when Uncle Li was in his sixties, he suffered from cancer, has been treating, but has not been able to cure, either surgery, or chemotherapy, or testing everywhere, needles and blood drawn and operated, as if all painful things have fallen on him.
Later, Uncle Li's cancer was really incurable, and it was delayed to the middle and late stages. However, as a son, Mr. Li has always insisted on treatment, not only spending all the family's money, but even thinking that his father will live longer, even if he gives more money, it does not matter.
In this regard, Uncle Li once said to him: "I know that your child is kind, but even if you scatter your family wealth, you can't save me, an old man, and even let me suffer all the time, so why bother?" Sometimes, it is not blind to live a long life, you can be happy. ”
03
If you were Uncle Lee, what would you choose?
If you were Mr. Lee, what would you do?
In fact, from different perspectives, everyone's ideas and needs are different. Some people want to leave early, while others want their parents to live a long life. In this way, contradictions arise.
Take the above-mentioned Uncle Li, he himself knows that month after month of chemotherapy, year after year of surgery, the body has reached the point of running out of oil, perhaps leaving, is the best choice.
And for his son, Mr. Li? He didn't want his father to leave, he only wanted his father to live longer, this was his filial piety, but it was also a place where he could not empathize.
A writer once said: "After my mother retired, she always told us that if I fell and couldn't get up, send me to the hospital later, I didn't want to bother you, and I didn't want to suffer in my old age." Hearing this, I was confused and in tears, which was the old man's heartfelt plea. ”
In fact, there are too many people in this world who are facing such a dilemma. On the one hand, the elderly want to leave, and on the other hand, the children can't bear it and just want to continue to spend money to keep their parents alive.
In this matter, everyone is justified, and what is wrong is only illness and irreconcilable contradictions.
04
When people are old and live a long life, are they really happy?
I have visited some elderly people in nursing homes. To tell the truth, these old people are full of confusion and have no idea what happiness is and what happiness is.
However, they often say that it is better to leave early than to be sick and live in bed.
At that time, I didn't understand that people are alive, isn't it the happiest thing? Why do these old people say that? Don't they understand the meaning of living?
Later, I wanted to understand that it was not that these old people did not understand the meaning of living, but that they really understood the value of life and knew what they wanted to pursue, and only then did they issue the sigh that "the longevity of being sick in bed is not happiness".
Therefore, when people reach old age, this is a particularly contradictory period. There are too many contradictions and pains, will come to our side, and our pain, whether anyone can understand, can only let ourselves silently bear, it is really unfortunate.
The happiness of people in old age should follow these two principles, the first is health, and the second is longevity.
There is no difference between a healthy longevity and a constant suffering. Only a healthy longevity is more valuable. You know, your longevity, as well as your health, this is inseparable. The combination of the two can improve the quality of life in later life.
That's all.
Wen/Shushan has deer