A recent emotional observation: a healthy relationship can be resolved by communication between two people. Unhealthy relationships are all taking screenshots of each other's chat history for friends to analyze.
Speaking of which, I remember a passage I saw a long time ago.
It is roughly said that the boy suddenly came to chat with his girlfriend WeChat: "Hello everyone", and then the girlfriend wondered why he said this, and the boyfriend said: "Anyway, our chat records will eventually be shown to your girlfriends, and I will say hello to everyone in advance."
Good fellow, that's a pure satire given.
Okay, circumventing the passage, let's come back and say where the first observations of the article came from.
Last month, my friend ended a 5-year single time, and like most girls, she went from just falling in love with each other, to starting an ambiguous relationship, to her confessing that the two people were officially in a relationship, and the whole process of the love affair she will update in real time in our girlfriend group.
Her original purpose was simply to share the joy, the sugar was exceeded, and several of our friends were smiling with their faces. But as they have been dating for a long time, they have begun to have contradictions, and the content of sharing has begun to change, gradually evolving from joy to love troubles.
For example, when she wants to kiss and hug, but is embarrassed to say, she asks us in the group how to express it.
For example, when her boyfriend did not reply to her, she sent all the WeChat screenshots from the previous night to the next day, wanting us to combine the context and help analyze whether she had said something wrong, or whether the boyfriend had encountered any difficulties.
Just the other day, she had some unpleasant encounters with her boyfriend. She felt that every time she enthusiastically said a lot of concerned words on WeChat, her boyfriend replied very perfunctorily, and her heart was not a taste, and then once again sent the chat records to the group.
Let's be honest, unlike those who need a third perspective to clarify the truth, her emotional troubles are more like many things can be solved internally, but she just wants to think unilaterally. I would like to say my distress to the whole world, except for the other half that should be known the most.
This kind of blind and hard-working love is most commonly happening to people who are in love for the first time, or people like my friend who have a long window of absence and have not been in love for too long.
The more you try to manage this intimate relationship, the more you will think about it with a lot of frequency. And in the process of pondering, because I am afraid that the other party will feel that I am "thinking wildly", I will hold all my thoughts in my heart, and finally I will force myself into a dead end.
Seriously, whenever you have any thoughts, pouring out your inner feelings and your other half will not make things troublesome, and there will not be so much unhappiness.
As for those of us who are confused by third-party friends, even if we are eager to help solve it, we will have concerns before we get the screenshot and analyze it. We are also afraid that we will misjudge because of different contexts, or that the love suggestions of our bystanders will complicate simple problems again.
Let's say that falling in love is ultimately a matter of two people, and the relationship that belongs to oneself must be solved by oneself in the end.
Even if you realize that you have to communicate with your partner in time when there is a problem, when you habitually take screenshots to let your friends help analyze emotional confusion, it is also when the relationship begins to light up red flags.
This side proves that in this intimate relationship, even if you communicate, you can't find a suitable solution, or maybe the other party doesn't cooperate with you at all, only you are working hard, so that you have to frequently use the third-party perspective of your friends.
Regardless of which case it is, the love that always needs friends to solve the problem is really not good.
The secret to happiness is to reduce movements. If the problem doesn't come from wild thinking, the problem is already there, then the first thing you think of is to communicate honestly with your partner and try to solve it.
If a single communication fails, you can try to review where the communication went wrong and when the next communication should begin. I understand that everyone needs a sober person to help you click when you are in love, but before you send a screenshot next time, you have to think about which situation you belong to.
Especially the kind of feeling that you want to solve the problem with your partner, but you can't end up in a hurry, and you can only send it to your friends frequently to evaluate. At this point, you may need to think more about whether the relationship will continue or not.
Spring is here, and good love should get you into it. Instead of the presence of another person, let you and your friends have a bitter vendetta every day to analyze the clues of this relationship. Good night.
Head image / Arren Aaren
Illustration / "You and I on the G String"