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There is no doubt that marriage is very important for people's lives, and once married, it means that they have re-established a new family from their original family, which is also the thing that people are most looking forward to.
But have people ever envisioned their own ideas for a perfect marriage, and how can they become an enviable loving couple?
Many people expect themselves and their partners to face all the storms hand in hand, and when the two sideburns are white, they are still supporting each other through their old age, watching the prosperity of the world.
Such a picture makes people feel extremely envious. From a psychological point of view, the more prominent the couple with these 4 characteristics, the deeper the fate, and it is difficult not to want to go through a lifetime.
Know how to understand each other and be able to accommodate each other
Because many people do not realize that two people in marriage, there is no absolute right and wrong, there is no distinction between high and low, and even some big truths should not be told.
Because in family life, there is not so much truth to speak of. If we can accommodate each other and understand each other's ideas when there is a dispute or contradiction, then many contradictions between husband and wife can be solved and the most harmonious husband and wife relationship can be maintained.
Once there is a contradiction or disagreement, it will choose cold violence or quarrel, although this way can not really solve the problem, and will deeply hurt the other party.
How to alleviate the contradiction between husband and wife, first of all, we must understand each other and be able to accommodate each other to make concessions.
Two people can only accommodate each other if they are considerate of each other, and if two people do not give in to each other, only one person is constantly accommodating to each other, and eventually it will lead to greater contradictions.
And we need to know that it is not that men should accommodate women, but that women should also learn to accommodate each other.
It can become a community of destiny
The community of destiny has become a mutual fate in psychology, saying that husband and wife can walk hand in hand, can face the difficulties and storms in life together, and then achieve the same happiness and suffering, no matter what happens, they can support each other to tide over the difficulties.
In life, we often see some examples of couples separated from each other in the face of great difficulties, and many model couples who once loved each other can only end awkwardly in the end, which makes people can't help but feel the coolness of time and human feelings.
Now people are beginning to question people's hearts and human nature, and they are thinking about the meaning and value of marriage.
Why do many couples in modern society choose to part ways because of a little thing? From a psychological point of view, it is because the husband and wife have not formed a relationship of mutual destiny, and they cannot bear the pressure and solve difficulties together.
Two people in a marriage can accompany each other to old age, they have experienced the ups and downs of life together, and have walked through many ups and downs and twists and turns in life.
After experiencing these things, the two people can entrust each other with their lives and share honor and disgrace. Only in this kind of husband and wife relationship can we truly achieve mutual affection and hand in hand to old age.
The three views are unified
There is no one person in the world who is exactly the same, and there are no two people who can achieve the exact same three views. Even if the husband and wife have been together for many years, it is difficult to achieve the exact same three views, but the consistency of the three views is one of the important foundations for the long-term relationship between husband and wife.
Only after the three views are consistent can two people have a common goal, and two people can continue to have common topics. Two people moving in one direction in life will be more tacit and harmonious.
Pay for each other
Many people do not realize this in their married life, and two people calculate their own gains and losses against each other in marriage. Because of a little thing, it is calculated, and even family conflicts are generated.
This is all because two people see their own efforts and ignore each other's contributions to the family. Some couples have only one person who is constantly giving, can't get the other's response, and even ignores their other half.
Constantly accumulating complaints and negative emotions in life, once the emotions collapse, will put their marriage and family in crisis.
Therefore, the payment between husband and wife is mutual, and one person cannot pay, and the other person just accepts the other's payment, so the unbalanced relationship will inevitably lead to the emergence of family crisis.
In the relationship between husband and wife, if you know how to be grateful to each other, the feelings of the husband and wife will be more harmonious. Because only people who know how to be grateful can feel more love, and can also make the other party's efforts get positive feedback.
Such a life can be more beautiful, and in people's married life, they also need to be grateful. Give affirmation to the other half's efforts, so that the other party knows that they are respected and understood.
A warm word in life can make the other half feel love and respect. Through the above analysis, we can know that couples who can really go on a lifetime have some commonalities in their marriages.
It is not how good the two are, but that two people can cherish each other more in marriage, and are more willing to pay for each other, regardless of gains and losses. Marriage will encounter some problems and contradictions, it is necessary to see how two people solve.
Don't start arguing or separating into cold violence as soon as there is a conflict, which will only push the other party farther. Smart couples will think about problems from each other's point of view, take more care of each other's emotions, and be able to humble each other.
Only couples who tolerate each other and know how to thank each other for their efforts can truly accompany each other throughout their lives.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Vogel, D. L., & Wester, S. R. (2003). To seek help or not to seek help: The risks of self-disclosure. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 50(3), 351