1. When a friend was taking a hot spring, he suddenly urinated urgently, so he buried his entire body in the water to solve it. Who knew that a gush of red liquid rose in the water, "Frightened, think I have pee blood?" "Paul

1. When a friend was taking a hot spring, he suddenly had a urinary urgency, so he buried his entire body in the water to solve it. Who knew that a gush of red liquid rose in the water, "Frightened, think I have pee blood?" The security guard quickly dragged him out of the water and fined him 800 yuan, it turned out that the merchant had put the drug in the water, and the drug changed color when it met with urine.

2, my sister-in-law had a cold, and I hurried to drive a Ferrari to buy medicine. Came to the pharmacy and suddenly forgot the name of the drug. The pharmacy owner said: "I've been selling drugs for decades, and as long as you say two words, I know what you need." I thought about it for half a day and said, "I only remember two words." The boss patted his chest and said, "Although you say, what word?" Me: "Capsule...."?

3. Children's education begins from an early age. The wife took the newly purchased educational treasure book and looked at it all night. Sigh at the difficulty of education! In order to cultivate our son's filial piety and gratitude from an early age, my wife and I led by example. Try your best to accompany each other's parents, whether it is a New Year's holiday, or a daily vacation! Under the influence of our meticulousness, my son finally said emotionally one day: It is really not easy to be a parent. I touched his head with pleasure: it is good to know that it is not easy! He went on to say: Yes! This drag family with mouth and eat and take, they are really not easy! "

4. When I was in junior high school, there was a student who was very naughty and did not like to listen to lectures. When we were about to take the middle school entrance examination, our teacher fought hard to give lectures to the students, and as a result, Xiaoming did not listen to the lecture, and the teacher slapped him with anger, and Xiaoming said: "There is a kind of you hit me again!" The teacher slapped several times, and Xiaoming cried and went to the principal to complain: "The teacher does not know how to count!" ”?

5. One day I was at my sister-in-law's house and wanted to board her WIFI to play online games. The password sent by my sister-in-law on the V letter was: nishiselang. I wondered what my sister-in-law meant by this password? How messy it feels! The sister-in-law said lightly: It's not interesting, it's just easy to remember. I felt something was not quite right when I typed it, and the code actually carried a slanderous: you are a sex wolf!

6, just received the year-end bonus today, 100,000 yuan, at night after work, a few colleagues proposed to go to the restaurant. It is said that the good is the AA system, and as a result, when it comes to checkout, a buddy has to pay for the guest. As a result, others have also clamored to pay for their own guests. For the sake of face, I also came to a sentence: Don't argue, I will come! Suddenly everyone was quiet, and the moment I paid, I felt something was wrong, I seemed to be tricked by these rabbit cubs!

7, like a beautiful colleague of the company planned to pursue her, in two days is her birthday, I asked her: what gift do you want to receive on your birthday? The beautiful female colleague listened to the shyness and said: I think I can receive the latest version of a certain fruit mobile phone that day, but I am embarrassed to use your money to buy, and I understand your heart. Oh this is difficult, buy it for her, she is embarrassed to spend my money, don't buy it for her, what do I take to chase her? I racked my brains and finally came up with a way to get the best of both worlds: I bought a latest version of a certain fruit mobile phone from a certain east Internet, and then the consignee wrote the name of the female colleague, and the payment method chose cash on delivery. Now that female colleagues don't have to spend my money and can still receive their beloved mobile phones, I am so smart!

8. The uncle who has just graduated from the internship has a long-term affection for his divorced female supervisor, and borrowed 500,000 mesh bags to buy a Mercedes-Benz C-class in order to chase her. Now the little uncle can't repay the loan, and people come to the door. The debt collector sneered: "See, this is what you wrote in black and white, and there is also your handprint on it." The little uncle said that he did not have any money now, and he could not pay this money at all. The debt collector Wei Xie Xiao Uncle: "Don't blame me for not reminding you, if you don't pay it back tomorrow, it won't just be that you borrowed so much, your house is like this IOU!" "After saying that, the debt collector took out a lighter and burned the IOU...

9. When I graduated from college, I took my girlfriend to Hanting, and the next day I saw that my girlfriend had not woken up and crept to breakfast. When I arrived at the bun shop, I was so hungry that I wanted to take some back to my girlfriend after eating. After waiting for a while, the bun came up, took a bite and did not see the filling, asked what was going on, and the waiter replied that the skin was thick. I continued to eat, two or three bites down to the end has not seen the filling, the waiter quickly said: you are actually eating buns!?

10. The widow said: The village chief is a Hercules, and he works calmly and quickly. The village chief listened to it even more energetically, rolled up his sleeves and worked hard. The village chief's wife saw the village chief working hard. Silly work. I'm embarrassed to say it. He went up and said a few words to the village chief in his ear. The village chief slowed down after listening to it. The widow on the side looked at it and felt strange, so she took advantage of the absence of the village chief's wife and asked: What did she just say to you? The village chief said: I am so capable of lunch, she will give me chickens to make up for it. The widow asked: That's not good, you don't like to eat chicken? The village chief said solemnly: She is going to kill the only big rooster in your house for me to raise.

11. My wife is 40 years younger than me, the generation gap is relatively large, and she often quarrels after marriage. When I came home from work today, I came in the door to see my wife sitting in the living room crying and crying, and there were paper towels thrown everywhere on the floor. Seeing this scene, I was suddenly shocked and rushed to ask her what was going on? The wife choked and roared impatiently: "You know it in your own heart!" Trembling, I took out the eighteen yuan and fifty cents I had picked up downstairs yesterday and respectfully handed it to my wife: "Oh, it's all here!" The wife dried her tears and took the money, and said lightly: "The paper towel i bought arrived, I wanted to try the water absorption effect of the paper towel, but I couldn't stop the car when I cried!" "I...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #