1, go to the dental office to wash your teeth, help me to wash my teeth is a young woman, fiercely a little posture. Her gloves were put on, the tools were ready, I was lying down, my mouth was open, but she ran away, and when she came back, I teased her: "Holding back urine, rushing to the toilet?" She was stunned, rolled her good-looking white eyes and replied: "Your bad breath is very big, I went to change a thick mask!" ”
2. After graduating from a university in Northwest, I started working as a delivery man. Meals are often delivered to a female client who lives in a villa. After a long time, I became familiar with it, and I also added WeChat privately. Last night she sent me a WeChat message saying that she couldn't sleep, and his parents weren't home, so she asked me to go and accompany her. I didn't think much of it, so I took a brother to her house to fight the landlord for one night. Then go home to bed in the morning, pick up your phone and send her WeChat, and suddenly find that she has blocked me, what is the situation?
3. After going through the back door to enter a private college as an intern teacher, he was fired by the principal because he was in love with the students. Later, he was called home by his mother to go on a blind date, married an honest man, and gave birth to a cute baby. Most babies like to hold something in their hands before going to bed, but my baby is more magical, and must grasp the big car with both hands. My husband especially hurt him, so he carefully prepared some small car toys. As a result, the baby found that he could grab two large cars with one small hand, and he had to grab four when he slept. To this day, he actually wants to catch six, and his mother-in-law is about to collapse, and when he falls asleep, he has to clean up a window car!
4. Soon after I got married, I found that my wife's belly was bulging! I thought it was a joy and immediately took it to the doctor. After the doctor's examination, he said: Your stomach should live with two little people! I'm excited: Wow, twins? Doctor: No, it doesn't matter if one of them is called Tianna and can't eat any more!
5. The son participates in the school photo contest, titled "Busy Mother". In order for my son to win the photography award, I specially invited my buddies in the photo studio to help guide me, and by the way, I designed a model for my wife and took several photos. In my son's class group today, everyone posted photos, and those mothers were all makeup, one by one, some wearing diamond rings to wipe the table, some wearing mink stir-fried vegetables... Only a disheveled yellow-faced woman in a torn cotton jacket was mopping the floor. I felt murderous across the screen.
6, buddy is a particularly powerful programmer, some time ago was dug up by other companies with a monthly salary of 100,000 yuan. On this day, the boss suddenly talked to him: "Xiao Wang, you have been coming to the company for a few months, and your performance is still good, but recently many colleagues have reflected to me that there is a problem with your tone of speech, and I hope you will correct it." The buddy nodded and returned to his seat, thinking that he had always been cautious in the company, which would offend people! Is this the workplace? The post-90s generation is so unpopular? The more the buddies thought about it, the more aggrieved they became, and they peeled the garlic and chewed it up. "
7. The abbot went on a business trip for half a month some time ago and came back this evening. Shi Tai knew that the abbot liked to eat melon seeds, so he prepared to surprise the abbot and peeled the melon seeds for one night. The abbot came back and saw it, was very touched, and then quickly ate it. Shi Tai sat next to him and continued to peel, and the abbot's eyes were slightly red. Then when I saw Shi Tai take the melon seeds out of his mouth and put them in the bowl, the abbot got up and silently went to the toilet...
8, with the ex-girlfriend for five years, she lost 2 children for me, and finally the family did not agree, helpless to break up. Although I was married, I always felt guilty about my ex-girlfriend, who wanted to buy a Buick two days ago and I gave her 100,000 yuan. When my daughter-in-law found out, she cried into tears, and I refused to give up for half an hour. It was noon, and I dragged her to the beef noodles. She ate two bowls of noodles, three chicken legs, and two eggs while crying. After drinking the soup, I said to my daughter-in-law with trembling: "Don't be angry! The daughter-in-law burped, scratched her head and looked puzzled: "Why did I cry just now?" ”
9. Today I received a strange phone call, a young girl said that she wanted my nanny. I vetoed, and she said, "Brother, I'm a beautiful woman who is good at anything other than cleaning." I said, "I really don't need to." She said, "Are you a man, your girlfriend is on a business trip, what are you afraid of?" I said, "If your voice change is successful again, I may be caught." She said, "Cut, it was discovered." ”"
10. When the buddy was working as a security guard in KTV, he and a rich woman looked at each other and went to her house to be a door-to-door son-in-law. Before the wedding, the husband gave the brothers a McLaren 720s, and he was very happy, and invited the brothers to drink in the evening. The guys talked about his car, the newlyweds, and of course they were very happy. He was also very proud of his license plate, saying that it was 1314, indicating that he and his wife would live forever! At this time, the two goods who did not have a long heart and eyes casually came to a sentence: one injury and one death. Then the two fought, and Ladu couldn't pull it apart!?
11, I went to the country's grandfather's house to play during the summer vacation, I grew up in my grandfather's parents, my grandfather hurt me very much, I remember when I was a child, I would give me two dimes every day to go to the small supermarket to buy jelly to eat. This is not today I just arrived when my grandfather led me to drink lamb soup, after eating Grandpa felt the teeth stuffed into the meat shreds, with his fingers into the mouth to dig. I gave him a toothpick, and Grandpa quickly cleaned the shredded meat and returned it to me. I said, "Grandpa, throw away the toothpick!" Grandpa said, "I only used one sign, and the other sign is for you!" I said, "It's dirty." Grandpa said, "I didn't take the toothpick to stir the SHI, put it in my mouth, wash it and clean it." ”
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![Once, when Feng Xiaogang drove a 3 million yuan luxury car back to visit his paralyzed mother, his sister, who had been taking care of her mother, cried and asked Feng Xiaogang: Can you find me a job in the crew? Feng Xiaogang said:[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)