Her sister-in-law, who had just gone to college, had a relationship with a foreign teacher who was 40 years older than her. That night, after she and the foreign teacher watched the movie, the foreign teacher sent her home. When I got downstairs, my sister-in-law said: You can kiss

Her sister-in-law, who had just gone to college, had a relationship with a foreign teacher who was 40 years older than her. That night, after she and the foreign teacher watched the movie, the foreign teacher sent her home. When I got downstairs, my sister-in-law said: You can kiss me, but I have to slap you. The foreign teacher wondered at that time and asked: Why? The sister-in-law said: Because my father is watching from upstairs.

2. I was admitted to Tsinghua with excellent results, and my alma mater is proud of me. During that holiday, my alma mater invited me to give a lecture. While I was talking, a student handed me a note to the podium, and I answered the questions one by one. Suddenly, I saw a note with the words "King Eight Eggs" written on it. I immediately held up the note and said to the following students: Everyone else asked the question, there was no signature, this listener, only signed, but forgot to ask the question.

3, yesterday visited the supermarket, saw a couple loaded a shopping cart of barrel instant noodles, pushed to the weight scale side of a bucket of buckets of scales, and then divided into two piles. I felt strange, so I called the tally clerk to ask about it, and he looked at the two men and calmly said: Some of the instant noodles are prized for ham sausages.

4, yesterday I have always liked the male table actually told me that he has a favorite person. I was very sad to know, so I wanted to know who he liked, so I asked the names of all the girls in the class except me, and he said no. It was me who had been thinking about it for a while, and the child shyly lowered his head and covered his face. The same table gently leaned over my ear and said, "You didn't pronounce the teacher's name!" ”

5, last night Lent the car to a female friend, although she has been with a driver's license for several years, but rarely drives. This morning, when I was still asleep, I was woken up by her phone, and I only listened to her in a daze: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbags, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? The car was no big deal. Wocao, instant drowsiness at all...

6, 11 at five o'clock to go out fishing with friends, friends said: Mosquitoes do not bite you? Me: My blood type doesn't attract mosquitoes, and within half an hour I was frantically attacked, the cow that had just been blown out was embarrassed to scratch, and I kept slapping my leg on the side. The friend looked at it and said: Even if you hate, you won't scratch when you swell.

7, the class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati, lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and asked each of us to write a personal introduction. After the teacher saw what we wrote, he stood on the podium and asked: What is the most important thing for people? It's honesty, right? The students answered: Yes.

8. After graduation, I used my father's private money to open a daily necessities store, and there were not many customers in the store. Bored enough to play games, come in a black woman. She said to me in a broken Chinese: Please get me a pair of flesh-colored stockings! I quickly picked out the most expensive pair for her. Who knew that she actually shook her head and said: No, I want flesh! As she spoke, she also raised her legs to show me. I suddenly realized, and then went to get a pair of black stockings and handed it to her, and she paid for it contentedly.

9. Flight attendant: "Hello, what do you want to drink?" The passenger was embarrassed: "Don't drink, don't drink." The flight attendant whispered, "It's free." Traveler: "Huh?" It's free! I want a glass of orange juice, a cup of Coke, a cup of coffee, and..." As he said, he took a bottle from his bag and said, "Fill me with some soy milk in it!" I'm going to drink my plane ticket back! ”

10, my brother married me a sister-in-law, about the same age as me, and I was pregnant not long ago. The old mother was very happy and could finally hold her grandchildren. All kinds of supplementary foods are changed to give to the sister-in-law to eat. I was not happy on the side: "I said Mom, I am your daughter-in-law, why don't you get some to make up for me!" The old mother's nose was crooked: "You? What else can you do but waste water on the toilet? "Is this still mommy?"

1 A colleague of the company asked for leave, wrote a leave of absence on the attendance system but did not notify the boss. The boss roared in the office: "You people, aren't you just taking a leave of absence?" Will I not approve it? Why don't you just say a word to me and leave on your own initiative, is there any reason why you can't open your mouth to tell me? At this time, three words floated in the dark corner of the office: circumcision.

12, there is a hot roast chicken roast duck shop next to the square, the owner and salesman, busy every day. At noon, two young men, a man and a woman, squeezed to the front, and the man said: I want a chicken! The woman said: I want a chicken too! The busy shopkeeper didn't hear clearly, looked up, and asked: You two are chickens? The man was not happy and asked: Who is the chicken? The boss nodded his head and understood: Oh, you are not a chicken, you are a duck!

13, girlfriend boyfriend broke up, I asked her what happened? She said: He blames my bad name! I wondered: He was so superstitious! What an era! My girlfriend said indignantly: My name is "Zhang Fei", he said that when he was with me, he always felt that he was Liu Bei!

14, girlfriend in the mall as a cabinet sister. In the evening, when she left work, a customer listened to a lipstick introduced by her girlfriend, and was a little moved, and it seemed that she wanted to buy a set. For the performance of my girlfriend, I have to help! I quickly assisted on the side: this is really good, you see I use this one. The customer looked at me, shook his head and left... Let's go...