The class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati and lost more than 2 million yuan, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and let me

The class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati and lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and asked each of us to write a personal introduction. After the teacher saw what we wrote, he stood on the podium and asked: What is the most important thing for people? It's honesty, right? The students answered: Yes. Then, the teacher said: Well, now please write in the self-introduction that you can crush the big stone in the chest of the students to perform on the stage, and ask the students who step on the light bulb to prepare !!!

2. The rich woman and her 35-year-old boyfriend go out for a walk. When passing the bridge, the rich woman accidentally fell into the river, and the rich woman could not swim and kept struggling in the river. After an hour of rescue, the rich woman was finally saved. Boyfriend: Honey, you obviously can't swim, how did you keep it? Rich Woman: The lipstick I used to go out today is not waterproof, and I can only do my best to expose my mouth to the water.

3. The brother-in-law eloped with an old woman in order to drive a Lamborghini. My sister was particularly upset, so I took her out to play and relax. As a result, after arriving at the playground, my sister was constipated, squatted for half a day without results, and the paper ran out, so we continued to play. Playing happily, my sister suddenly became anxious again, but there was no paper. I flipped left and right, then pulled out a few sheets. As soon as I had a stroke of genius, I asked my sister to give me 100 yuan in exchange. After returning home, the mother punished cooking, washing dishes, sweeping the floor, watching the children, a week!

4. Some time ago, I asked a friend to buy me a concealer cream, and after using it for a few days, I found that the effect was obvious, and after applying it, it was like changing people. Then, my husband was very curious why the effect was so obvious after applying it. I told him, "The role of concealer is to make pores smaller, cover freckles, brighten and brighten the complexion." After listening to my explanation, my husband suddenly realized: "I understand, just like the white scraping when we renovate our home." ”

5. The fox and the snake are in love! After a happy time, the fox was disturbed to find that the snake seemed ill. But the fox is always told by the snake: "I'm all right!" "Perfunctory. Finally, one day, the fox woke up to find that the snake's body was cold, the heartbeat pulse was so low that it didn't, and the despair of the world broke up and made it almost faint! It shook the snake to death. Just as the fawn passed by, he glanced at it: "Don't you know that the snake is going to hibernate?" ”

6. I haven't been in touch with my boyfriend for two years, I miss him a little bit, I just want to buy a gift to go to him! It is really good to pass by a supermarket, the loudspeaker shouts: During the June 1st period, the women's products in our store are all 3.2% off. So I asked: How do you sell the razor? The clerk rolled his eyes: Is the razor a women's item? I rolled up my skirt and yelled, "Can't the old lady shave her legs?"

7. My sister is more than 12 years older than me and is old to me. When I was in the fifth grade of elementary school, my sister temporarily became the math teacher in my class. That day, when I changed my position, my sister replaced me with a woman in all directions. And they are all the best posture, when the school is over, my sister suddenly asked: do you like it or not. At that time, I was ashamed of my face, but I couldn't suppress the ecstasy in my heart, and I giggled out loud...

8. When I first went to college, I fell in love with a sister, and that girl never agreed. One day she asked me out and said she had something important to say to me, and I gladly went to the appointment. When we met, she said: I used to feel that the handsome one has no money, the rich one is ugly, and today I finally found that you have both, and I envy you so much. A meal of praise made me flutter and I was trying to take the opportunity to confess. The girl then said: It turns out that even those who have no money can look so ugly!

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #