1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly used it

1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly asked the driver with Chinese: Has xxx station arrived? Driver A: It's over. The girl was furious: Why don't you report the station? The driver calmly replied: Speaking Chinese, I am afraid that you will not understand.

2. It will soon be the twentieth birthday of the newlywed wife of the local tycoon, and he has wrapped up the entire five-star hotel in order to surprise his wife. When the two of them ate candlelight dinner, the local tycoon said to his wife, "Honey, if one day I am gone, how will you feel?" The wife said, "It's like this French fried foie gras without pepper." Local tycoon: "You mean that without me, your life would be boring?" Wife: "No, I mean I'll go buy another pack of pepper." ”?

3. The girlfriend is the anchor of the appearance of a certain platform, in order to maintain her figure, she will go to practice yoga every day after work. She came to play with me that day and showed off to me, "I'm sitting there with my legs straight, and I can eat my toes!" I said enviously, "Alas, since giving birth to my son, my waist has not been able to do it, and it hurts to bend at all!" At this moment, the son who was watching the cartoon suddenly sat on the ground, made a yoga gesture and said to my girlfriend: "Auntie, you see, I can also, but I don't like to eat toes..."

4, a sixty-something developer rich man drove a Rolls-Royce to a KTV to charter a room. Then the rich man said: Call me three college students, it must be genuine! The manager Bi respectfully said: You can rest assured that they are all famous universities! Not long after, a few college students asked: Hello sir, do you need to order songs? The rich man took a lump of books out of his bag: You did my son's winter vacation homework! There is a rich dad who is a drag! "

5. The father-in-law is the project manager of the real estate company. Not long ago, I bought a BMW 740 with my pension and gave my husband a Jetta that had been driving for 5 years. During the long vacation, the old man openly took me on a self-driving tour with this car. My husband didn't know the way as he walked, and said to me, "Daughter-in-law, let's take a quick lead." I yelled, "It's over, I forgot to charge my phone last night, husband, bring your phone and I'll navigate." "In this way, every time I drive a road, I give my husband a mouth. My husband was confused by me and kept asking, "Why are you hitting me, what's wrong with me?" I said angrily, "Every time you pass by the bath, your phone's wi-fi is automatically connected."

6, I rented a house inside a new roommate, is a beautiful girl. After work today, I saw my sister moving things to the house, so I helped her. She specially ordered takeout for me to eat, as a thank you. However, the delivery brother was her ex-boyfriend who wanted to escape before moving, so she took the opportunity to use me as a new boyfriend as a disguise to dissuade her ex-boyfriend. Now, the girl came to my bedroom as a guest, and made me think of my home as her own, making me wonder if she wanted to fake the real thing. But when my girlfriend comes back later, how do I explain it?

7. When I went home during the New Year's holiday, I was afraid that my grandparents would be bored in my hometown, so I bought a computer. Taught them to use the computer, and also applied for a QQ number for them... Yesterday, I accidentally caught a glimpse of the state above Grandma's Q, and I was instantly petrified. "When you don't travel, don't take risks, don't talk about a relationship, but haven't tried life, hang on QQ, brush VBo, shop Taobao, do what I can do when I'm 80 years old." 」 You want youth to have a yarn. ＂

8, in order to better childbirth, when the third trimester of pregnancy, my husband took me for a walk together, and when I was tired after walking to a place, I let my husband drink some water. My husband poured a little, and I took a bite out of it, so I shouted again: "Pour! My husband fell a little more, and I shouted again: "Fall, fall, continue to fall." At this moment, only to hear Duang ~ a driver get out of the car and scold: "Who? Who told me to keep pouring? "Me:"

9. I was lying on the couch watching "Thirty Only", and my father asked me to wash the dishes. I was about to go when he suddenly slapped me in the face! When my mother looked at it, she asked my father: How to beat a child? Didn't do anything wrong! Dad replied, afraid I would break the bowl. Mom said: Isn't this not washed yet? Where did the shreds come from? Dad said: Do you think it is useful for him to break the bowl and hit him again?

10. The little uncle borrowed 150,000 yuan of online loans to buy a car, and the mother-in-law went to work on the construction site in order to repay the money. After a few days of drying, the mother-in-law's hands grew a lot of sweaty herpes, dense and very infiltrative, and she entered the dermatologist's office. The doctor received her warmly, and the doctor gently caressed the skin of her mother-in-law's neck with his hand. The mother-in-law said, "How can you scold me?" Isn't seeing a doctor with your eyes? The doctor said, "Just now, I looked with my eyes, but I didn't understand it, so I used a wipe, and Hua Tuo didn't say: look, smell, ask, cut." The mother-in-law said, "Then does your mother understand?" Don't ask me again. ”

11. My girlfriend teaches in a key high school and is the class teacher of the third class of high school. After class, the girlfriend overheard a conversation between two students in the hallway. A student asked: Our school flower looks so beautiful, she pursues you, why don't you agree? Another student replied: Alas, even if she is beautiful, she is not as beautiful as the math teacher, go, I have to brush up all night. As soon as these words came out, the girlfriend was shocked at that time and felt that her realm was too low.

#Funny##Funny#Funny##搞笑一刻 #