I am a divorced single mom after the 80s, have a 10-year-old daughter, and also have a boyfriend who is 14 years younger than me. According to the imaginary age, it is already 40, which should be "forty."

I am a divorced single mom after the 80s, have a 10-year-old daughter, and also have a boyfriend who is 14 years younger than me. According to the imaginary age, I have run for 40 years, and it is reasonable to say that I should be the age of "forty not confused", but unfortunately, my mind is full of all kinds of doubts and emotions, good and bad.

I often set a lot of goals for myself during the day, but at night, when a huge sense of meaninglessness struck, I felt that I was useless, overturned all plans, played mobile phone brush videos with self-abandonment, slept very late, and hated myself. I have been stuck in this vicious circle.

I was insecure in this relationship with my boyfriend because I couldn't figure out what he really liked about me. He is a special investigation policeman, tall and handsome, and he is the key training object of the unit, and the future is very good, why should he choose me who is so much older than him, wants money and no money, and has a child? I pushed him away again and again, deleted his WeChat and contact information, and he persevered to let me add it back.

I work in a private company, I am an administrative supervisor, the monthly salary is not low, but I often feel that I do not deserve such a high treatment, often worried about what to do if one day the boss fires me.

What the hell am I doing? 【Readers' Questions】

@Learning is the treasure of the body's answer:

Hello!

From your description, I feel your inner insecure, sense of meaninglessness, confusion, helplessness, pain, and overwhelm.

The troubles you have caused by the state of not looking forward to the future will not be repeated here, and I will give you three points of advice for your reference:

First of all, I suggest you try to accept your state.

Because doing so will make your heart a little lighter, it will help you think about what to do next.

You said that you are a divorced single mother after 80, have a 10-year-old daughter, there is also a small you 14 years old, love your boyfriend, it is reasonable to say that your age should be "not confused", but even if you are very successful in your career relative to many people, your mind is still full of various doubts and negative emotions, in fact, your state is understandable, because if a person can not accept themselves (you often have a sense of unworthiness), the heart is easy to become negative, So you have to try to accept your state and "see" the painful self that wants to make you better, but can't do it for the time being, which will make you have extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your brain will always be surrounded by all kinds of negative emotions.

What's more, it may sound paradoxical to have you trying to accept your state of affairs in order to promote a change in the status quo, but that's the way it is, because change is based on allowing not to change.

Second, I suggest you look rationally at your state.

Because looking at it rationally can make you better understand yourself and reality.

To look at it rationally, you need to do the following two things:

The first is to see the advantages of yourself.

Judging from your description, maybe you feel that you have no advantages, but this is not an objective judgment, because everyone has advantages, you are no exception, you said that you have many goals, including you come here for help, indicating that you are self-motivated, you are in the private sector as an executive director, indicating that your work ability, communication ability, leadership ability is very strong, you also have a boyfriend who seems to you to have a bright future, even if you are so much older than him, and you have children, which is enough to show that you must have something worth loving, so you see, You have a lot of shining points, when you understand this, it is likely to enhance your self-confidence, reduce the feeling of unworthiness in your heart, and then promote your mood to improve, so you have to accept yourself more and identify with yourself more.

The second is to learn to look at yourself with the perspective of development.

Maybe let you see your own strengths, you still have no expectations for the future, then you have to learn to look at yourself with a development perspective, because you still have a lot of time and energy to improve yourself and improve yourself, you have to see the power of time.

When you look at your state in such a rational way, the various negative emotions in your heart may dissolve a little.

Again, I suggest you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to change the status quo.

When you look at your state rationally, you may also know what to do, then you focus on yourself and try to do a good job.

For example, when you are in love with your boyfriend, you can affirm yourself more and look at your own advantages, which may make you more confident and feel safe;

You can also think about whether those goals are objective and reasonable when setting goals, because if the goals are too much and too high, it is likely to make people withdraw, and then they cannot be achieved, when you adjust your goals, it is likely that there will be action, and your mood will become better because of actions;

You can also tell yourself that "even if the boss doesn't use me one day, I can find a new job and live my own life" when you are worried about your boss firing you, and such positive hints may also make you feel better (of course, this is not blind confidence, because you have seen your advantages before);

You can also think about what you want to do most in the moment, and then try your best to do it, because such imagination is likely to make you see the meaning of life, so that you will be full of expectations for the future;

You can also imagine what you want your life to be in the most, and this imagination may also make you confident in the future; etc., in short, you must know that you can do something to change the status quo and your state of mind.

When you start to act, the various negative emotions in your heart will naturally slowly dissolve, because sometimes the enemy of various negative emotions is action.

Hope my answer helps you. #Emotional Review Awards # #解忧生活馆 #