1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly used it

1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly asked the driver with Chinese: Has xxx station arrived? Driver A: It's over. The girl was furious: Why don't you report the station? The driver calmly replied: Speaking Chinese, I am afraid that you will not understand.

2, Fa Xiao has been very fat since childhood, and now it is 250 pounds. Her wish is to fall in love. Once we went to buy cut cakes, Fa Xiao said to the boss: Boss, I buy two pounds, don't charge me money! The boss looked very handsome and said: Beauty, you can put a hundred hearts, if I am randomly collecting money, I will be single for the rest of my life! Smile: Don't need you to be single, if you charge money randomly, be my boyfriend! After listening to it, the boss looked at the hair small, and then silently returned 50 yuan to us....?

3. The sister-in-law is a student of Tsinghua University, so high-minded, just graduated to interview Ali Baba's accounting position. The HR manager asked, "How much does 2 multiply by 8?" The sister-in-law replied without hesitation: "18." The personnel manager asked her to go back and wait for the news, and the sister-in-law calculated the answer as she walked, knowing that she had no hope. The next day she received the application for dominance, and the sister-in-law was surprised and couldn't help asking, "Thank you very much, but how much is 2 times 8?" The HR manager told her, "Of all the candidates, you've got to get the answer close." ”"

4. Dad went from a farmer to now open a glass factory from scratch, with a family property of more than 80 million. But dad has been a little melancholy lately, and he said to me: Children, neighbors all say that I am the father of the tiger, but I think I am not, because the father of the tiger has no dogs. I listened and retorted with a straight face: Dad, you see you are so powerful, you must be the tiger father, and I am not a dog! Dad looked at me, a bitter look on his face, and said: Why not? Aren't you a single dog?

5. On the weekend, I watched TV with my husband at home and saw the on-screen couples of the recent fire, so they discussed the problem of husband and wife. I have a particular opinion on this, so I talk about it. I said: Husband and wife have lived together for a long time, eat the same, live together, and over time, they will be married. He said, as if enlightenedly: Oh, no wonder I'm getting uglier!

6, the wife's wisdom is infinite. After the weekend meal, the daughter-in-law took a shower in advance. I walked over to the mirror and saw that it was full of fog. When my wife finished washing her hair and blowing her hair, she said let me witness the truth. So I stood there and kept chanting: Magic Mirror, Magic Mirror Who is the most beautiful person in the world? Then she blew the hair dryer in the mirror, and in a few moments her face appeared on the mirror. I was stunned, this magic mirror is a blind! Son, right?

7. From childhood to adulthood, I was very envious of other people's Chinese New Year's Eve meals, and the family joyfully gathered around the table and ate hot dumplings... My mother and I complained: Look at other people's food, and then look at our family, the big New Year's Day, can't we improve the food? I sat on the table and felt my whole body explode, and I couldn't help but nag. Eating these things all year round, you are not tired of me! I pointed to the abalone lobster on the table and said angrily to my parents. "

8, my mother-in-law is a very attentive person, this day I was on a business trip. At dinner, my mother-in-law called me and told me that the things outside were more oily and I ate less, and now that I was so fat, I was losing weight. I said, "Mom, it's okay, it's okay if you're fat." Then in the next hour and a half, the mother-in-law talked about the disadvantages of obesity to the effects on small children, from the food outside to the preciousness of life. If it weren't for the last father-in-law calling my mother-in-law to dinner, I reckon she would have told me about dawn!

9. When a male colleague and a female colleague are joking and joking, the man accidentally sprays perfume into the woman's eyes, and the woman's eyes are blindfolded and painful. The man comforted: "It's okay, blind I raised you for a lifetime!" It just so happened that the man's girlfriend came to wait for him to leave work and heard this at the door. The man turned his head to see his girlfriend, his expression was frozen, and immediately pulled the female colleague to his girlfriend and said, "Come, call Mom!" ”

10, two days ago to see the brother's family's erha is very good-looking, I want one. At home on the weekend, I said to my mother: Mom, I want to buy a two-ha puppy, as long as 800 yuan. Mom directly refused: No, it's too expensive!! I tried to convince her that the golden retriever was particularly cute and could pull out to woo her when she was raised. Mom instantly changed her face: buy, directly buy adult big dog!!

11, the weekend off work is at home micro-business class to prepare to start their own side business, then my sister who has a good relationship with me called me to talk to me: I went shopping to buy a T-shirt, spent 3,005, I felt that I was deceived, when there was a few shopping guides besieged, I was hot head to buy. The more I think about it when I get home, the more expensive I feel, I must have been deceived, and you went with me to retire. I went alone, and they besieged me for fear that I wouldn't be able to hold on! If there is no way, I will go with her and let the family say two words. In the end, she changed another piece of more than 5,000 pieces, and I desperately couldn't pull it!

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