1. At noon, take a nap with the female ticket. The female ticket answered a phone call and didn't know what was said inside. She replied, "My husband is back, next time." Suddenly, I was completely sleepy and sat down at once

1. At noon, take a nap with the female ticket. The female ticket answered a phone call and didn't know what was said inside. She replied, "My husband is back, next time." Suddenly, I was completely drowsy and sat up at once. The female ticket seemed to know something and said, "My girlfriend invited me to go shopping." Then casually asked, "Where do you want to go?" ”

2. That night, I overheard a conversation between my nephew and niece. The niece said, "I got an award for the exam this time, did you get it?" The nephew said, "There's nothing to show off, I've got two!" The niece said, "Every time I take the bus, someone gives me a seat!" The nephew said amazingly: "I have lived for six years, and I have never bought a ticket in the car!" ”

3. My family is rural, and every day after school, I will play with a group of children. One day after dinner, when a group of children were playing hide-and-seek, one of them bullied me, and when my brother saw it, he went up and got into a fight with the man, and then he fell down. Brother shouted: Brother hurry up and throw bricks! I quickly found a brick in the moonlight and threw it over, only to hear my brother "Ouch", I looked, hit my brother, blood flowed to the ground, scared the boy who beat me and pulled his leg and ran. Later, everyone in the village said that I was a cruel character, and they did not hesitate to smash my brother's head and bleed, and the sand chicken was a monkey!

4, my husband is addicted to the game and can't help himself, every time he plays I watch from the side. Tonight he's playing again, all kinds of monsters, all kinds of fights, all kinds of sound effects, all kinds of critical hits. So I pretended to be a bird and said to my husband, "Husband, people are so afraid!" "He ignored me. After a while, I really couldn't look at it anymore, so I rolled up my sleeves and said, "Husband, you let go, this monster should be beaten like this!" ”

5. Mrs. Rich: Before you got married, you still knew how to work hard, why don't you want to do anything now? Rich Man: They all say that marriage is the graveyard of love, and I have entered the grave, what is the meaning of hard work? Mrs. Rich: You have to thank me, you don't have to wash the dishes today. Rich Man: Why? Mrs. Rich: The cakes I spread were too hard, like a plate, so I just put the porridge in it, soaked it, and finally ate it together. Rich man: Wife, when you talk, can you stay away from me a little and spit around? Mrs. Rich slaps her face: I know you're saying something nice. Rich Man: What's a nice thing to say? Mrs. Rich: Don't you say that the couple is going to have a fight with each other?

6. My cousin bought a wild carp for my husband in Weishan Lake, because my cousin said that her father liked to eat fish. When the cousin carried the fish to the cousin's house, just opened the door, the cousin's face was green. Entering the house, looking at the oversized aquarium, my cousin was not calm in an instant! I heard that my future father-in-law packed the aquarium in the morning and waited for my fish! The cousin said with grievance, "Old man, if you can count what I owe you, I will definitely make up for it when I come back!" ”

7. The big boss of a winery went to a restaurant to eat and drank a bottle of his own wine. When I went to pay for it after eating, the owner quipped: Your winery is very dark, there is water on this side, and there is wine that comes out over there, and the profit is very considerable! The owner of the distillery laughed: "I want to say, you are darker." The owner of the shop was puzzled, and the owner of the winery said leisurely: What you go in here is Maotai, and what comes out there is urine, and your profit is double that of us!

8. The goddess girlfriend was abandoned after she was pregnant with the chairman's child. The spare tire that chased her for ten years expressed that he was not disgusted and was willing to marry her, and his girlfriend was touched and married him. Now that the two have been married for two years, my girlfriend remembers that she has never cooked for him. This is not a sudden whim today, so I made green pepper meat shreds. The girlfriend watched expectantly as her husband took a bite, and as a result, he actually looked at the girlfriend and cried! The girlfriend hurriedly said: Don't get excited, I will often cook for you in the future... Her husband said: It's not that I'm too excited, but I'm crying!?

9. When learning to drive, the coach said bitterly: Everyone must mark the luxury car, and they can't afford to lose it! After I listened, I asked: You also have more than ten years of driving experience, what car are you most afraid of hitting? The coach was suddenly silent and took a sharp sip of the Huazi in his hand. Sighed and said: I'm most afraid of hitting the van because you never know how many people will come down from above to hit you!?

10, I have a small hair, since I was a child, I have been the Emperor of Europe. Once we were walking down the road, and we both saw two pieces of money at the same time. I went and took fifty, and when I looked at the toy bank, he took ten pieces of real money. At that time, the jealousy was broken, and it was good to be small and righteous, so I also bought a lot of snacks and spent eight yuan. Just when my mind was gradually balanced, the boss found him forty-two...

11, I am the son-in-law who is said to be the door,Last night after eating, the mother-in-law did not want to wash the dishes, said that the game was decided, and the wrong answer went to wash the dishes. The mother-in-law first asked the old man: What is the number of the winter solstice? The old man said: December 23rd. She "hmmm" for a moment, and then asked me: Under normal circumstances, the amount of phytoplankton in the seawater is positively correlated with nutrient salts, light, and water temperature. I didn't listen to the rest and went straight into the kitchen.

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